Bleeding Heart
by A. James Robin
Summary: My name is Tifa Lockheart, and i have a confession to make: Cloud hits me. You'd think i'd have the strength to stop him, right? I thought so, too, until i realized: I enjoyed every minute of it. Rated M for Violence, Abuse, and some Sexuality
1. My One Thousand Words

**Bleeding Heart (Tifa's Scrapbook)**

Note: This work is a companion piece to my first story in the Heart series, Psych Heart.  
It is rated M for Abuse, Extreme Violence, and Sexuality.

Also, all song quotes in this chapter are the sole rights of Steve Taylor, and the Sparrow Corporation.

**Chapter One- My One Thousand Words**

Despair- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

The blistering folds  
of my skin run deep  
with despair I sense  
from before the first punch.

Within the crease  
of a life lived out,  
the question remains  
in the pit of my being:

How did things change  
here so suddenly  
from romance today  
to this hell for always?

* * *

12/26/1999

(1 text message sent)

Cloud,

I notice things. Seeing Sephiroth again opened up so many holes in your soul, doesn't it? We've passed the test, and the world is safe, so why are we back at dilly-dally-shilly-shally?

Every time something bad happens, you turn and run inwardly. I've seen a change in you ever since Kadaj, you know. It seems like you're becoming more and more aggressive. I realize that 'you're just Cloud', but why more so now than before? It just doesn't make sense.

Yesterday, you seemed so empty and removed from all of the Christmas traditions that you love. Cloud, let's be honest. Anytime we get together, and make love, it's electric. But you really disappointed me last night. When you had me at my peak, you were silent. The only sounds of the night were my moans and the crickets.

What's up? I know something has to be wrong. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but plenty of men would give their left arm for ten minutes with me. What about you?

Marlene and Denzel are worried. The way you took off without notice, I guess they assumed we had been fighting. Maybe not verbally, but are we, Cloud? This bed's lonely without you.

Desperately Waiting,

Tifa

* * *

(Notes from a Christmas Radio)

"Hey, this is Johnny James Jerrason, and you're listening to all the soft rock classics of the nightcap on 92.2 FM, WPSY: Psychic Radio, where we play the tunes in your head and the music of your soul. This next song is a listener request: 'Total Eclipse Of The Heart'. This goes out to Cloud Strife from Tifa Lockheart, who loves you…"

"…Today's Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at a mark of 46 Billion shoes. Today's business commentary is brought to you be B.F. Hudwick: 'When money talks, people listen'. Some businesses facing bankruptcy have been forced to make the most painful of decisions. The real test is to keep the doors open. Even in good times, small businesses have a high 'strangle rate'…."

"…It's 10 PM. Do you know where your husband is?..."

(_He'd better not be with some cheap blonde tramp, that's for sure.)_

"…You say faith is a crutch for a mind that closed? You guzzle your crutch, and shove it up your nose!..."

"….Nobel prizes would have been nice, but he lost his mind to renegade mice…"

_The clock struck 11 PM, and I did something that I'd never done before. I took a bottle of wine from my inventory here at the bar, and just chugged it. I returned to the radio, slightly buzzed._

_(I'm way too young to introspect.)_

"….So I was a young mother on welfare…."

_(Is the baby on welfare, too?)_

"…I'd watch it all burn to buy another sunrise…"

_(I just know I'll be feeling this in the morning. And if people ask? Answer no one, let them guess.)_

_I take the last dreadful swig. Since I gave up hope, I feel a lot better. I predict by morning that I won't even care._

* * *

1/1/2000

Dear Diary,

Y2K didn't come, but my world feels like it just ended. Cloud came home, late as usual, and was requesting his supper. Keep in mind, this is seven in the morning. Of course, I didn't have it ready. Cloud was more belligerent than ever, but I never expected what would happen next.

Cloud Strife punched me, right in the eye. I know what you're thinking: I'm a fighter, so I could have stopped him. You're absolutely right. So why did I fall to the floor and cry like a baby?

I could see in his eyes the teal and green colors becoming more prominent. He was overloading on Mako.

Suddenly, the stupidest statement I could have ever said slipped through my lips:

"Is that all? Please, do it again! Come on, Cloud! Hit me again."

So that's why I let him get away with it. It's why I've been fighting battles for all these years:

Tifa Marie Lockheart is an extreme masochist.

* * *

(scrawled in Sharpie on a 7th Heaven mug)

'It's not a bruise, it's a black-and-blue Olympic medal.'

* * *

1/6/2000

Dear Diary,

If I take a look deeply into the person that I have been, and the person that I want to be, they are exactly the same. As for the person that I am now? Eh, not so much. My 'raccoon eye' is healing nicely, and I don't have anymore to accompany it (yet). Somehow, I am conflicted. Once upon a time, I believed that this would have been a 'dealbreaker'. Why do things have to change? Why must I have been built to be a glutton for punishment?

Am I the only woman in the world that skipped for joy when I was sent to my room?

Am I the only woman in the world whose ears perked in anticipation at the words 'You're in for a big spanking when your father gets home'?

Am I the only woman in the world who has experimented with cutting for pleasure, instead of release?

Am I the only woman in the world?


	2. For Poorer And In Sickness

**Chapter Two- For Poorer, In Sickness**

What Happens?- A poem by Tifa Lockheart

What happens  
when in the dead of night,  
Marlene has a fright,  
runs toward the light,  
and sees me bound with cuffs?

What happens  
when she looks around,  
hears a friendly sound,  
and realizes Cloud  
is the one who tied up 'mommy'?

What happens  
when she isn't mine,  
she's only turning nine,  
and I have to say "It's fine.  
This is completely normal?"

What happens  
when she sees how I play,  
and gives herself away,  
before I get to say  
'birds, bees, and what happens?'

1/12/08

Dear Diary,

Something happened today that has shaken me to the very core. Four simple words shook out of my head the notion that Cloud could dole out punishment for fun.

Naturally, I was in the mood. I didn't know what for, but that's the best time for an obsession to strike: the unsure times.

I convinced Cloud to come to bed with me, and we stripped, completely. His hands were all over me. They crashed like waves through the flat plain of my midsection. They softly caressed like wind on both my mountains and my valley. Then he dipped down and began to thrust himself into me.

All was not well. Cloud's hands felt tender, but they were…hmm, how should I say this?...'inopportune'. They caressed when they should have massaged. They zigged when they should have zagged. The worst part was realizing that Cloud wasn't making love, he was manufacturing it, mechanically. If there's one thing a woman can tell, it's when a man is just doing enough to get by.

Now, you may be asking, what do you mean by 'manufactured love'? Well, I would venture to say that every common housewife experiences it. It's when you're moaning in pleasure, and he's silent. It's when you expect him to know your needs by the way your body tenses, and he doesn't understand. It's when you want him to slow down, but he races to the end. It's when you want a slow, smooth feeling in all the right places, and he just wants to hump away like he's wishing for some kind of mass explosion.  
You know what I speak of.  
I still find it sad that most men use sex like they're trying to impress and win-over someone that's already been won.

The problem was, I still had the itch for something deeper. So I told him to spank me, really hard. No such luck. He simply turned around and exclaimed, "Do you actually think I hit you for the fun of it? You don't even get it, do you? I…don't…love…you.

And then he sword-slashed my most private of places.

I've Lost A Lot Of Blood- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Do I care?  
Am I so traumatized  
that I'd hover over myself  
like a near-death-experience,  
when all the doctors know  
that I'm going to be fine?

I don't care.  
I've lost a lot of blood,  
and now I can never have kids.  
Like a near-death-experience,  
my mind is filled with change,  
and I will never be fine.

Should I care?  
I never liked young kids.  
They scream, they cry, they're selfish too.  
Like a near-death-experience,  
I must go back to Cloud.  
Lying to myself is fine.

So what then can we turn to? Masochism is out, for once. I'm sure everybody around me is curious to know what the next vain obsession will be. Because I need these strongholds. I need an addiction, so I won't have to confront all these fears. I must never confront Cloud. He's got a sword.

What fills a void when there's nothing that fills?  
Something more pleasing, with all of the frills.  
What is 'the thing' when nothing 'is'?  
This is the addiction biz.

I developed a new craving while I lay on that hospital bed.  
What it all comes down to is a need to be fed.

1/13/08

Dear Diary,

I've never been more embarrassed in all of my entire adult life. Yes, I'm awake. I'm feeling weak and pained, but that's what happens when your boyfriend takes away any hope you ever had at being a mother…

….And everyone sits silent, knowing how this happened….

…And they think you're a nut for going back to him…

…And to spite them all, Cloud asks for my hand in marriage…

…And sets the date for two weeks later…

…And I say yes.

Now tell me. Isn't life just grand?  
(I don't need your sympathy. I need a bag of potato chips. This hospital food is the pits.)

Cloud set this up, I just know he did.

The wedding day came and past.

I shuffled down the aisle, slow and far from steady-footed…

…Like my own personal deathmarch.

Cloud lifts the veil, and sees a big bruised mess. For god's sake, on my wedding day, I look like a bleeding zombie!

But still here I am, letting it happen, like a spiritualist who throws her soul to the wind. It is not her own.  
I realize good and well that marrying Cloud means selling my soul to the devil…

…And that Barret will want to keep Marlene and Denzel as far away from us as possible…

…And that I may not be alive next year…

…God, I'm crying out to you on my knees! Why do I consider these things and not care?! Why don't I feel anything?

As I said, Cloud had to have set this up. His vow was 'for richer and in health'. Mine was 'for poorer and in sickness'.

Scratch that previous statement.  
(I will not be alive next year.)


	3. Cents and Cents' Ability

* * *

Note: I don't know how many of my readers have been to the sister site, , but if you have, then please check out my collection of Poetry called 'The Muse Revelations'. I will give fair warning, it is rating M, but the poems that deserve that rating in the collection are more of the exception rather than the rule.

It seems to me like Fictionpress has thousands of so called 'Literary Geniuses' and only a handful of dedicated readers, so i'd appreciate any help I could get. On that note, let me take the time to thank my readers for taking the time to read and review my stories. The users of FanFiction are definitely avid readers. Why is it then that Fictionpress, a site for Fictional work, contains a lot of writers and no readers? I love FanFiction so much, but I have to say, I have basically lost hope about Fictionpress readers giving a care about anything.

The good part is: you can change that, one review at a time.

**Chapter Three- Cents and Cents' Ability**

The Well Runneth Dry- A poem by Tifa Lockheart

In a sense, a bucket,  
floating down the stream  
comes easily, free,  
only for me,  
but I have to know why.  
The well runneth dry.

Called by the pen,  
ordained by ink,  
led by the red hands,  
so many fans.  
I cover my face  
with my wings in disgrace.

A bookstore, common  
people read much.  
A thousand books  
all sit on the hooks.  
Such a writer's chance.  
Will they take a dance?

The bookstore walls stretch on for years,  
but are they willing to share our tears?  
Music is king, and poetry's high.  
The novelist well runneth dry.

* * *

**Tifa's Diary- 1/20/08**

I'm working on a poetry book. No, more than that, really. I'm trying my hand at a novel, but poetry is more personal to me. But look at the state that everyone is in. Our poetic world is so vastly limited. No one pays good money for poetry anymore, so no one's willing to pay. But oh, the world of novels. I walk into the library and see wall to wall books. Somebody is taking a chance on these people, but I feel like I could write better than any of them. Is that really the case? Probably not, but you never know.

Every online contest is scam upon festering scam. Cloud lives his own life now, even though we live in the same house. No one reads anymore, and it makes me angry sometimes. A slammed my pen down tonight and finally said, 'enough is enough'. I marched up to Cloud Strife's room and said, "Cloud, I want to challenge you!"

"To what?"

"To a wrestling match."

"Like fake wrestling?"

"No. Mixed Martial Arts."

"Go back to bed."

"You couldn't take me."

I could literally hear the silence, and I knew that he must have been absolutely steaming.

"Tifa, you're on."

So we went at it, right there in the kitchen. We didn't have a referee. I didn't think that i'd want one. I would beat him to a pulp, and no referee was ever going to stop me. At least, I thought that's how it would work.

I threw the first punch, and it connected squarely on his cheek. Cloud had absolutely no clue about how to defend me. My fists bruised his eyes. My kicks cut at his chin. Unfortunately, in my fit of revenge, there was a part of my training that I had forgotten. I was in an unbalanced stance, just begging to be taken down. So I was. Cloud got me off of my feet, and onto my back. I tried my hardest to keep beating at his head, but it left my arm open. Cloud grabbed my left arm and began to extend it, using an 'arm bar' maneuver. Where was my referee now? I tapped my right hand on the floor many times, but Cloud did not let go. Cloud Strife pulled harder and harder until he had dislocated my left shoulder.

When he heard the 'pop!', Cloud finally let go. His face was bruised, and I should have felt happy to have done that to him. But then again, I am a fighter. All I could feel was the bottom line: I lost, and it felt decisive. I probably could have beaten him the next time, but he knew my weakness now. I never fought him again.

* * *

**Tifa's Diary- 1/25/08**

Life is tough when you have a dislocated shoulder. I have sat in bed, and watched as my friends had to take over the responsibilities of the Seventh Heaven Bar. Whenever they asked what had happened to me, I told them the truth: 'I asked for it.'

Normally, I would say that being hurt would be my ticket out of pain. Cloud could get no sick pleasure from hurting someone who is already injured. But the story doesn't end there. I found my new love during the 'stay-in-bed' days. My new love had been under my nose the whole time, and he was already a part of everyday life, so much so that I couldn't live without him. My new love was food.

It came very suddenly. It just starts innocently, with a 'Cloud, could you get me a bag of Cheetos?', and turning on the television to watch 'The View' while I ingest the entire bag. Perhaps you know how it is. It isn't like a loved it. For some sick and twisted reason, I still would have preferred a bruise over a snack. But it's the pain that tears a hole in your stomach. It's Cloud's mentality jump-starting the hunger pangs. It's the nutrients and the Vitamin C leaking through the gap in your broken heart.

For whatever reason, I never felt hungry. It caught me by surprise to look down and see that there were no Cheetos left. And I still wasn't full. In all actuality, I probably was. It's just that Cloud has thrown both my mind and my stomach so far off kilter.

Slowly but surely, I began to notice it in the little moments of life, when I would binge without even thinking about it.

* * *

"Wow, Cloud! We're all out of pizza!"

"I only had two slices!"

* * *

"Cloud, how did we run out of soda so quickly?"

"Look in the mirror."

* * *

"I thought that was a King Size candy bar."

"Tifa, it was."

"Really? Oh. It didn't feel like it."

* * *

"I fixed you some fries, Cloud. It's not much, but it's all we have left."

"Tifa, it's a freaking mountain of potato!"

"You're such a 'cup-half-full' person."

"No, i'm a realist."

* * *

"Cloud, why are you holding your plate in my face?"

"I'm sure you'd like to eat that too, right?"

* * *

**Tifa's Diary 1/29/08**

SHUT UP!!

I do not have a problem! I have never had a problem! I never will have a freaking food problem!

CURSE THESE PANTS TO HELL!!

It's not my fault! People just don't make pants the way that they used to. Besides, maybe they shrank.

CLOUD, DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME!!

Just because you've finished your meal before me doesn't mean that you can leave the table. It makes me look bad when you're done, and i'm not even near completion.

This beating inside my head makes me feel so guilty for becoming crazy like Cloud. But he's molding me, you know? Maybe that's what he wanted this whole time: for me to stoop to his level. He won't take me. No, he won't take me.

* * *

**Tifa's Diary- 2/3/08**

Okay, so Cloud might possibly be a tiny bit right. So I popped the buttons on some of my outfits; big deal! They were old anyway. So the reading on the scale is higher than it's ever been; who cares?! I'm muscular. So i'm visibly getting a bit larger; whatever! Some men like that kind of thing.

God, i'm in so much denial.

* * *

Pills- A poem by Tifa Lockheart

I tried pills once,  
sure that it would be the cure  
to all I live without.  
But there's a hitch in the scheme:  
I cannot take them down.  
I've never been good at swallowing  
a thing that doesn't belong.

I tried pills once,  
but they refused to go down my throat.  
Too much money anyway.  
I'm much too smart for that.  
I know all about cash,  
cents, and cent's ability:  
Not that much, really.

* * *

**Tifa's Diary- 2/6/08**

I went to the doctor today for a checkup. He told me that everything seems fine. I'm as clean as a whistle. He even fixed my shoulder. But he did say that he was concerned about this extra weight i'd put on. He said that, since the last time i'd seen him, i'd experienced a gain of 20 pounds. The doctor asked me if I was okay with it. I simply looked into his eyes, and I smiled from ear to ear. I patted my belly, which was beginning to develop a slight roll of fat, and I said, "I'm feeling a bit horny just thinking about it."

"It's that really what you think?"

"How could I know?"

"That depends. Are you a person who says what she means, and means what she says?"

"That's a bit offensive, don't you think?"

"No, of course not. What part are you talking about?"

"'Are you a person?'."


	4. Five Alarm Night

**Chapter Four- Five Alarm Nights**

Five Alarm Nights- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Praise the sprites,  
I still fit in the tights  
on the five alarm nights,  
when the bell in my head  
rattles the dead  
and plans ahead.

Here at the pantry,  
spread open wide,  
the five alarm night  
quickly gives way  
to a six alarm fright.  
The mind says bluntly,  
'Throw caution to wind.  
Who cares about image?  
Who cares about bills?

Cloud's not here:  
ten alarm life.'

_______________________________

2/14/08

Dear Diary,

Cloud actually remembered Valentine's Day. I really like his gift, and it shows, because i'm wearing it around my left eye as I write this. It's purple, just like I wanted. Cloud took off somewhere, and he won't be back for a while.

I am adamant about this. I will fit myself into my old fighting outfit from the days of adventures past. I open the closet and pull the outfit from its final resting place on the hanger. The white shirt is a bit tight now, and it could almost pass as a bra. I try to put on the skirt, but it just doesn't fit quite right. Forcefully, I tugged the skirt down to the level it should be. (God, if the paparazzi saw me now, they'd say that I was pregnant! If only it were that...)

The person in the mirror actually looks pretty good. She's getting slightly chubby, but there's no real difference yet from the average woman, unless you knew what I looked like a few months ago. Yes, the mirror does agree: Tifa Lockheart can still pull the fighter look off fairly well!....

....And then the button flies off. The skirt hits the ground, revealing my panties. I never liked that skirt anyway.

Oh well. Next up, that old pair of jeans I used to wear when I was younger. I slide the jeans on, but they seem to be a tiny bit stuck. Furiously, I tug and pull at the jeans. It doesn't work. I hop up and down, and roll on the floor until I can finally get the pants to waist level. I know that the button on this pair is very resilient, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem.

But now I can't get them to zip up. The lips of the zipper do not touch, as they are forced apart by newly expanded flesh. Okay, so i'm going to have to suck my tummy in. I can handle that. I feel like i'm holding my breath, but they're on. It's not a perfect fit, but I think i'll walk around the house in them.

I get to the kitchen, when I notice that Cloud must have accidentally knocked a cup in the floor before he left. I bend down to pick it up, and...

...RRRRRIIIIIPPPPP!!!!

They're totally shredded. I'm not talking about a little peephole that acts as a gateway to the undies. I mean, it ripped so big, you could almost see my whole butt! So, it goes without saying that those are headed for the dumpster.

But there's got to be something more. After that session of popping and ripping all of my favorite outfits, why do I feel like going deeper?

I do not have the answer to that question. All I know is that the pantry is calling me, and I don't want any restrictions. The air from the ceiling fan flows free across my bare skin. There it is: the holy cabinet, full of candies, breads, meats. You name it, we've got it. So, without any further ado, let the party begin!

I'm so ashamed, but I like it. I start with a carton of ice cream. It didn't stand a chance. Ritz crackers? Devoured. Entire bag of Valentine's candy? Consumed. Two liter of Pepsi? Vanished in the space of an hour.

But this is all old hat, isn't it? Oddly enough, I don't like grease, or really any kind of foods that get your hands dirty. Chocolate Cake, for example. Usually, I pass by the cake and save it for Cloud. Granted, I still don't have a desire to eat it, but i'm sure I can find a use for it. So I smear it, everywhere.

I envision it as if I am a warrior, smearing face paint as a mark of war. I suppose Chocolate Frosting is my 'Binge Paint'.

Of course, nature would have to interfere. In the middle of the feast, I feel a call of nature. I grab a pack of Little Debbie cakes and finish the entire box while sitting on the toilet.

And that's when it hit me...I feel like a damn animal. Just look at me, shoveling down food so maniacally. It's like some kind of kinky animal instinct, and my entire being cries out, 'This isn't human!!!'

Don't get me wrong, Tifa Marie Lockheart does not purge, nor will she ever do so. But apparently, she will talk in the third-person from time to time.

So I retreat back to the kitchen in shame. My belly is so full, I feel like puking my brains out. When I take a look around, I survey the damage. It's pretty severe. The entire pantry is basically cleared out. Cloud is so going to kick my ass.

Wait. There is one thing that I forgot. I realize that it was sitting separate from the pantry, but still, how could I miss the humongous foot-long artisan bread? Gosh, i've never seen a piece of bread that big!

Instantly, the challenge appeals to me. Maybe I can eat one more thing. I grab the loaf, and I instantly feel a sense, not of gluttony, but of something more sensual. I wrap my legs around the long loaf of bread and hold it close to me as I begin to nibble at the top. For one moment, all is right in the world of Tifa Marie Lockheart, until....

....Cloud walks through the door. He surveys the damage, much like I had done. He sees the pantry empty. He sees me hugging a loaf of bread. I'm sure the food is pissing him off really bad, but I can see it in his eyes: his gripe centers around the one phrase: 'He sees me'.

Cloud sees me sitting naked on the kitchen floor. Cloud sees me with my mouth full. Cloud sees me with a tummy that looks like a baby bump. (If only I were that lucky.) Cloud seems me covered in chocolate frosting. Cloud sees me with a spaced out look in my eyes, and a greenish tint to my complexion.

Cloud sees me barf all over his brand new shoes.

_____________________________________

Reality- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Memory relates that once,  
we loved like little children.  
Reality relates that now,  
I surrender all.

Memory relates that once,  
the table was packed full.  
Reality relates that now,  
economies die cold.

Memory relates that once,  
I scarfed down all we had.  
Reality relates that now,  
there is nothing left.

Memory relates that once,  
I felt like i'd explode.  
Reality relates that now,  
We have to go without.


	5. Dutch Poetica Training Day

Note: Thanks to everybody for making this story such a success! As of now, Bleeding Heart has 20 reviews and almost 1,500 hits in just four chapters. I hope you like this one too. It's very 'stream-of-consciousness', so I hope you like it.

**Chapter Five- Dutch Poetica (Training Day)**

Here in the moment, I see his hair through open door. It's never known a shear before. Trust in your laughter, still there is pain, forever poor. Everybody plays a tune. Yours is your heartache, but mine is dancing faithfulness in a field of flower red. Take in the picture, and you don't speak, you just ignore, clean the mess off of the floor.

Kan iemand me genezen?  
(Can someone heal me?)

Kan iemand me voelen?  
(Can someone feel me?)

In deep recesses, sleeping alone without him there. We can dream without a care: ruined in moments. I want the peace to love me more. I reject what you've become. Deep in its cradle, the phone still rings from time to time. I think it's Yuffie on the line.

Ik zal u helpen.  
(I'll help you.)

De opleiding begint morgen.  
(Training starts tomorrow.)

_________________________________________________

I lace up my sneakers, and turn to go. Cloud's still asleep, so he will not know. I have no idea what Yuffie has planned, but i'll trust that she'll pull me from under his hand. I wonder what training. I wonder what thrill. I walk through town, and I see her on the hill. She's in a jogger's suit, and i'm not up for this. Her face is like a child's, beaming with bliss.

"I know everything, Tifa."

"You don't know anything."

"Anyway, that's not why I called you here. I need a training partner. I'd appreciate it a lot if you would join me."

"You've never had a training partner before."

"It's never too late to start."

"How much do you usually run every day?"

"About a mile."

"WHAT?!"

"Don't worry, Teef. I won't start you out that hard. We'll start small."

"Yuffie, is this a scheme to get me into shape?"

"Of course it is. I won't take no for an answer."

____________________________________

The Mission Bell- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Now I know how it feels  
to take the thorns and the spears  
in my side, like the man  
with the nails in his hands.  
This is my crucifixion,  
early morning benediction.  
I run through clouds of freezing hail,  
chasing the mission bell,  
just to get to the end  
of the torturing wind  
and hear the phrase,  
'Now for the second phase.'  
I bounce in ways that Yuffie could  
only dream of, knock on wood.  
To steal a line, forgive me Dan,  
I have no fear of drowning.  
It's the breathing  
that's taking all this work.

________________________________________

Yuffie and I ran all the way to the gym, which is quite a long way from the Seventh Heaven. Needless to say, I felt like giving up and throwing up. When we reached the gym, there was no one inside.

"Surprise, Tifa!"

"What? I don't get it."

"Do you know why no one's here?"

"No."

"This is a brand new gym. I own it!"

"That's great, Yuffie! Now what are we doing?"

Yuffie stared up at me with her hopeful, beady eyes as she exclaimed, "Let's box!"

"You mean with gloves?"

"Of course. But you should really change into a sports bra."

"Darn it, Yuffie. I didn't bring one. I guess we'll just have to go home."

"Where do you think you're going? I brought some with me, in various sizes. Surely i've got your size in here somewhere."

I silently muttered under my breath, "Don't count on it."

Yuffie dragged out a gym bag and started tossing out garments.

"How about a B?"

"Don't make me laugh."

"C?"

"Kiddie sized."

"CCC?"

"Like...when I was 13."

"Gawd, Tifa. D?"

"Close, but no cigar."

"DD?"

"In high school."

"DDD? This is the highest that I could find."

"I used to be...before all of this Cloud mess started happening."

"Well, DDD will have to do. What do you wear, anyway?"

"E."

"Just so you know, I do not envy you in the least bit."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"Well, let's just have a go at it."

After Yuffie and I had gotten into the ring and put on our gloves, I couldn't help but notice that I was a lot bigger and stronger than Yuffie. At first, I had decided to go easy on her, but that all changed when she uttered those idiotic words:

"I want you to take out all your anger on me. Pretend that i'm Cloud. Go ahead. Hit me wi...."

Before Yuffie could even finish, I knocked her petite butt to the canvas. Her nose was bleeding a little bit, and a tear of pain began to drop from the corner of her left eye. A bit choked up by the punch, Yuffie gasped, "Okay, how about we pretend that punching bag in the corner is Cloud."

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"I'll be fine."

"I know what you're doing, Yuffie."

"What?"

"You're trying to get me to stand up to Cloud by getting my blood flowing and my anger level high."

"Is it working?"

"Hell yeah."

That punching bag didn't have a prayer. For twenty minutes straight, I clobbered Cloud...uh, I mean, the punching bag...with all the strength that I could muster. The sound of my grunts and fist meeting bag reverberated with great force throughout the empty gym.

"It's time to take a break, Tifa."

"Tifa, can you hear me? I said we can stop."

"HEY!!!"

When Yuffie grabbed the punching bag and forced me to stop, she looked into my eyes. My sharp gaze must have stunned her, because she took a step back. Yuffie gulped and muttered, "Well, the body needs more exercise, but I think you're ready mentally."

Yuffie had kept her car parked at the gym that morning, so she drove me back to the bar. As I was exiting the car, Yuffie asked, "So, you know what to do, right?"

I stared at my fist for a few seconds and replied, "Give Cloud what's coming to him."

"Uh, Tifa...That's not what I said. That's not it at all!"

I didn't hear her. I simply marched up to the door with a fire in my eyes. As I turned the knob and entered the bar, I saw that the object of my newfound fury was nowhere to be seen. There was a note on one of the tables, and it read:

Gone for good, and I mean it this time.  
Sincerely, Cloud.

Sure enough, his room was bare. At least he had the courtesy to clean up after himself.

(This is so not what I wanted!)

______________________________________

Seeping in faster, the gate to distant corridors of a loneliness divine. There is no laughter, only the sound of broken glass, on the movie reel of past. Swayed like a yo-yo, I want you gone, I need you here. Split your lip and call you dear. There's nothing after. An empty house will breed the fear, and i'm never leaving here.

Vrede en kalmte  
(Peace and Placidity.)

Lege binnenkant en buitenkant.  
(Empty inside and out.)

Staring at plaster, this bed is mine, this bed is cold. How the life is so alone. Fear what your heart says, knowing your breasts are mountaintops that you want to tear away. So far from healthy, everything's changed, it's all so knew. Now I turn my back on food. Fist is my conscience. Violence without, crying within. Will I find the rest again?

And that's when I put my hand through a glass window. Why am I like a magnet to abnormal behavior? Phase One- Kinky  
Phase Two- Sad and Pathetic  
Phase Three- Binging  
Phase Four- ?A rage that even the Devil would envy?


	6. Harder To Be Free Than Not To

Note: I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while on most of my stories. School's been crazy, and i've had a lot of recent job offers that have eaten up my time, only to find that almost none of them seem legit or attainable. Obviously, all the stuff that's happened to Tifa has never happened to me, but it does reflect a lot on the decisions that i'm having to make now concerning my future. So really, 'The Cloak' is coming more from my heart than it is Tifa's.

**Chapter Six- It's harder to be free than not to**

The Cloak- A poem by Tifa Lockheart

The rage is like a hurricane  
inside of a bowl,  
where the waves must vanish  
to keep to their own.  
It will always spill over,  
depends where it's placed  
if it will cause enough damage  
to leave hope erased.

Looking better every day,  
but the garments don't fit,  
and the thought of you leaving  
tears away at my wit.  
All of my hopes  
were left unattended,  
and I tossed away the cloak  
that I should have mended.

Being independent is so hard to do.  
It's harder to be free than not to.

_________________________________

So he's gone. I can't believe it. Cloud Strife actually left my life for good. Honestly, I cannot decide whether this is for the best or for the worst. I called his cellphone today, and he's not answering. I expected as much, since he has Caller ID, and i'm not changing the number. Yuffie Kisaragi stays over a lot. Sometimes I let her do my shopping for me, just to stop me from having the urge to stock the cart full of junk. But i'm doing better, I really am. After running every day, and training with Yuffie, my weight has gone down to where it used to be, and my shape is getting normal too. Now if I could only find a remedy for my mind.

______________________________________

"Yuffie, what's that?"

"Don't worry, Tifa. It's exactly what you wanted."

"The restraint machine?"

"Yes."

"Read the label, so I can be sure that you got the right one."

"Fine. 'The Restraint Machine is guaranteed to stop compulsive behavior. Simply program the machine to ban a certain action. Once the action has been banned, an electric shock will course through the body of the user any time the forbidden act is committed'.

"Yeah, that's the one. But you know, now is the perfect time to tell me that this is a huge mistake."

"Tifa, it worked fine with me. How do you think I quit stealing?"

"I realize that, but the opposite of stealing is not stealing. You're okay with that. How do you know I won't be traumatized into not eating?"

"Well, I...uh...I don't think it works that way. It doesn't turn you into an opposite. It just negates the action."

"Okay. Hook me up....wait! I won't look like a freak, will I?"

"No. The machine is very small, and it can fit in your pocket. At the worst, it'll look like you're listening to music."

"Alright. Crank it up."

_________________________________________

From the moment that Yuffie turned on my Restraint Machine, I can testify that it works like a charm. I programmed the machine to only allow the average calorie intake that a person is supposed to have. The first day after Yuffie started it, I got shocked. It was late in the evening, and I had already had my three square meals for the day. When I tried to eat a piece of cake for a snack, a painful electric shock flowed throughout my body. Trust me, i'll think twice now about eating food...er, I mean...**extra** food.

_________________________________________

"Hello, Barret. What can I get you?"

"Hey to you too, Tifa. Pour me a beer that's not gonna knock me on my butt for once."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Aww, Teef, I didn't mean nothin' by it. I'm jus' sayin', sometimes when I ask for a random whatever, you do pick the hardest thing on the bar."

"What's the matter? Don't you like your service?"

"Uh...Tifa, what's gotten into you?"

"If you don't like the way that I bartend, then you can haul your keester to some other sleazy ho joint. Then you can order your sissy light stuff."

"But this is the only bar in town!"

"Exactly, Barret. So please, be more specific."

Barret was easily getting steamed, so Yuffie came over and tried to settle the issue.

"Tifa! What's the big idea? You can't deny service to your own friends! That's bad business!"

"...said the underdeveloped money hog."

"WHAT!? Tifa, can I see you in the back?"

"No, you may not."

"Tifa, don't make such a scene. There are customers present!"

"Fine. Have it your way."

Tifa followed Yuffie into the back room, where Yuffie continued to berate Tifa about her lack of compassion.

"Tifa, i'm concerned about you. Ever since Cloud left and I helped you start your shock treatment, you've been mean and grumpy. Besides, I want to know if you've been eating properly. You're losing weight way too fast!"

"Yuffie, my body is no concern of yours. I have a new way, and it's showing a hell of a lot more results than your plan."

"Tifa, you're not...."

"Why wouldn't I? It's instant results."

"Tifa! It's against the natural process of the body to purge."

"What? No! You've got it all wrong."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Tifa, I demand that you tell me what you're doing, this instant!"

"Yuffie, I hate to do this, but you're becoming a pest."

Tifa covered Yuffie's face with duct tape. She then shoved Yuffie into the bathroom and locked the door. At first, Yuffie screamed to be let loose from the room. As she looked around, she realized that perhaps the key to Tifa's statement could be found here.

Yuffie knew the first place to look: the medicine cabinet. She had hit paydirt. The cabinet was filled with bottles of dietary supplements. None of them were approved for use.

____________________________________________

Red pill, Blue pill. Long pill, short pill.  
If you get the right combination, all of the 'locks' will fall straight into line.  
This is the first time I could ever say that I hate my life.  
And my newest plan is on speed-dial.

*RING!!!*

"Hello. This is Johnny O."

"Hey, Johnny! This is Tifa Lockheart. I just called to say that i'm interested in your deal."

"Great! You're just the kind of girl I was looking for. Come by my office tomorrow, and we'll make it official."

"Sure thing. And remember, i'm up for anything."

"That's what I like to hear. Bye."

*CLICK*

___________________________________________

"So, Tifa, basically, this contract is sayin' that you're mine for 2 years, with an option for more years if the men really like you."

"I'm not blind. I can read it myself."

"Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"Don't start."

After Tifa had read over the document, Johnny asked, "Have you ever acted before?"

"Yes. I starred in Advent Children."

"Yeah, that's right. But this is a lot different."

"I know. It's entirely different."

"Well, your papers say that you're clean, so you're good to go. I just have one more question: Are you sure that you're comfortable doing sex scenes?"

"Of course. That's why I wanted this job. I do have the job, right?"

"I'll put it this way: How does it feel to be a porn star?"

"Heavenly."

(There was no smile on my face.)

"So, what do you want your stage name to be?"

"Angelica Breaston."

"Hmm. Tacky, but catchy."

___________________________________________

All of them are Cloud's- A poem 

Every man and every stalk  
that pays my bills  
and rubs so close,  
on the verge of touch  
with secret wasteland  
long since barren  
by Cloud's hand,  
feels like Cloud's.  
Moves like Cloud's.  
Squirts like Cloud's.  
Is Cloud's.  
I don't look at their faces.  
I only notice the faces.  
Every stalk in Midgar,  
all of them are Cloud's.


	7. Cat Fight

Note: It's shocking, I know. Yes, I have actually posted two chapters in one day. Usually, I tend to milk as many reviews as I can get out of the chapters, but today, i'm feeling generous.

**Chapter Seven- Cat Fight**

I kind of feel sorry for Yuffie Kisaragi. I shouldn't have locked her in the bathroom, especially since.....

.....her fiancé, Vincent, left town at the same time as Cloud. Either Vincent's hunting him down, or it might be a training thing. I think I might have overheard Cloud talking with Vincent on the phone before he left about a job offer from Rufus, and something about extensive training.

I know i've been putting a strain on our friendship, but it does feel bad to see Yuffie missing Cloud so much. Then again, at least Vincent told her about it beforehand.

_____________________________________

They have no clue- A poem by Tifa Lockheart

It amuses me  
to see the faces go by  
that have no clue  
about my source of spare cash.

Every patron  
passes by like they always  
have, and they are none  
the wiser. I wish someone knew.

Which one condemns,  
which one watches gleefully?  
Which one has me  
picked out for a fantasy?

Which one gets off  
like a bottle rocket  
when their eyes see?  
Is it a friend? Is it me?

____________________________________

*RING!!!*  
*RING!!!*  
(Pick up, Cloud!)  
*RING!!!*

"Talk to me."

"Cloud, where are you at? I was worried sick about you! ('fingers crossed'.) Are you even..."

"I'm not here at the moment. Please leave a message, and i'll get back to you when I get back to you."

"...oh...well, I do have a message! I hope you know, Cloud, that I've found a guy to replace you who is twice the man that you are! In fact, i've found five of them, and i've been intimate with all of them...at the same time! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!"

*CLICK*

(Every man is Cloud.)

________________________________________________

I hate my system. Ever since Yuffie found out my 'pill' secret, i've had to place them in less alarming containers. It's given me quite a headache. So this morning, I went into the bathroom to try to get some aspirin. I reached for the bottle of Tylenol and opened it. It wasn't Tylenol. Like I said, I hate my system.

The band-aids are in the cough-syrup bottle. The cough-syrup is in the toilet. (Don't ask.) The diet pills are in the Tampon box, and the Tampons are under the sink. I think. Oh God.

There's red in the porcelain, flowing like a miniature volcano. At least that's one thing I can flush away with relative ease. Anyway, back to the madness.

I cannot find the Tylenol. I know it's here, but i've already screwed up everything. The only thing I can find that can take its place is.....

...My horrible creation. Why did I even dare to create such a tempting thing?...  
...Vicodin on a string, doing a very good impersonation of a candy necklace. And no, i'm not supposed to have them.

(I am my own dealer, and Wal-Mart helped.)

They'll have to do.  
I'm not saying how many I took, because it's none of your business! (3)

_________________________________________________

"Okay, Tifa. In this scene, Federico is going to come into the room and try to seduce you. You know your lines, so let's make it look real."

"Alright."

"Okay....action!"

Federico opened the door and softly called, "Oh, my darling Angelica!"

"Oh, Fadarino!...aw crap."

"Cut!!! Tifa, it's Federico. Get it right."

"Federico. Got it."

"Okay...action!"

"Oh, my darling Angelica!"

"...*teehee*...sorry, I got the giggles!"

"Cut!!! Tifa, do you need some time to calm down?"

"Whatever. I need calm to down time...or somethin'. Haha! Aw God, does anybody have a glass of water? Or Doritos? Dorito water...ha!!"

"Tifa, come here, please."

When Tifa approached the director, Johnny O, he saw the spaced out stare and instantly knew, "Tifa, you're high."

"Nonsense! I don't smoke! I'm naturalisticalismista...haha!! Where's my Dorito water!?"

"Tifa, I think you need to go home."

"Johnny, I think I'm naked."

"You're not. Gosh, whatever's gotten into you, the world may never know."

"You know, I know, Cloud knows."

"Who's Cloud?"

"Cloud.....is.....people!!!!!"

"Holy Christmas. Let's just run the scene. What you do in your free time is none of my business."

"Yes it is. I made a Vicodin necklace. Is it a pretty necklace?"

"You're not wearing it."

"I know. You like that, don't you, J?"

"I, uh..."

"Wanna go to the back room?"

"Hey, guys, i'll be back in a second, okay?"

Federico was upset, and he interrupted, "No! We don't have time for this. You can have her after we get our shoot in."

Tifa swung herself around clumsily in order to face Federico and say, "You want a slice too, don't you, Napoleon?"

Johnny O redirected Tifa back to the couch and instructed, "Do you remember your lines?"

"Good idea! A line would help me remember!"

"I thought you said that you didn't smoke."

"I don't do needles either, but that doesn't stop me from shriveling up like a tiny, miniscule little raisin."

"You know, Federico, this might work."

"This might bomb."

"Whatever. Forget the lines. Let's just shoot it. I'll call it...Angelica In The Clouds. Now, action!!"

"Oh my darling Angelica!"

"Oh, my. Federico, you have such a way with words!"

"May I have a chance with you?"

"The bridges in London are always open for the ones that are willing to find the inner light, and by so finding it, stare deeply into the sun and burn their eyeballs into a giant cathedral standing bright against the moon, blotting out all sin amongst the children of the Most High statue of National Pancake Day, so i'm told. But my sources are thieving liars."

"Was that Shakespeare?"  
"It sure was, stud muffin."

"Your linens are still forbidding my entry."  
"Then strip away that which forbids you."

Federico did as he was told, and the scene which so feverishly birthed the film's X rating commenced and ended, rather quickly.

"Cut!!!"

Federico walked towards Johnny and whispered in his ear, "This will bomb."

"No. Men are into anything these days. I've heard some of my fellow movie-makers have started doing bathroom scenes, where they..."

"Please, I don't want to know!"

"Fine. We do have our options. She could sell like hotcakes in Japan."

"Or Atlantis."

"Nonsense. Atlantis is a myth, like the Loch Ness monster."

"Or UFO's."

"Or North Dakota."  
____________________________________________________________

When Tifa had finished work, she quickly hopped back to the Seventh Heaven Bar in time to open up for the night. As a few people started piling in, Tifa, who was still a bit off from the pills, stood on a table and yelled, "I call Karaoke Night!"

The room was silent, except for a young girl in the back that had raised her hand.

"Yes, Yuffie?"

"I want to go first."

"We can duet!"

"Um...I don't think that's such a great idea."

The smile that was on Tifa's face instantly faded as she dropped the 'live' microphone and it buzzed loudly upon contact with the table. Her demeanor instantly became cold, as if it had done a hundred-and-eighty degree turn.

"Yuffie, come with me to the back."

"Gawd, okay."

Yuffie and Tifa walked into the back area of the bar. The patrons could not see anything, but they heard it all. They heard Tifa mutter, "Is there something wrong with my singing?"

"No, it's just that I...I..."

"I what?!"

"You're acting strange, Tifa."

"This isn't strange."

"It isn't?"

"Tell me what you really think of my singing, my body, my everything."

"Tifa, this isn't appropriate. I'm not 'that way'. Stop touching me there!"

"Say my name!"

"Tifa! Tifa! Tifa! There, is that good enough for you?"

"That's not my name!"

"Alright, it's Angelica!"

"You've been watching my videos! How do they make you feel?"

*sniff* "They make me feel really good."

"That's still not my name!"

"What? But I..."

*SLAP!*

Out in the bar area, the patrons were silent, and they could hear the sounds of bodies hitting the floor and rolling around, as if they were fighting. There were various punching noises and groans. Finally, a fierce punch led to complete silence, followed by the scampering of little feet.

It was Yuffie that left the room first. She didn't look like she had been in a fight, but she was sobbing as she ran out the front door.

Tifa came out next. Her hair was out of place, and a big bruise was already starting to form on her jaw. Ironically, she was the one that looked like the victim.  
Tifa retook her place at the bar and screamed out, "My name...is...Cloud!!!!"

Every customer in the building stood up and walked out. Tifa spat at them as they left.

_____________________________________

I Don't Need It- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

I don't need the bar anymore.  
I have the camera to keep me rich.  
When the bodies hit the floor,  
which one is the witch?

Me and Yuffie could have been so much more.  
We could have shared my bed.  
Yes, that could have been the new addiction,  
if not for the man in my head.


	8. Burning For Yuffie

**Chapter 8- Burning For Yuffie**

I am the girl that got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the woman who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two mothers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two women.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the mother who has never hugged her son because I grew up afraid to show affection for my son.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the girl who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling her loving Christian parents she loves another woman.

*RING*  
*RING*

"Hello. This is Yuffie Kisaragi. How may I help you?"

"It's me, Tifa."

"Oh...it's you."

Just by the tone of her voice, Tifa could tell that Yuffie hated her now.

"Yuffie, please don't hang up."

"You have five minutes."

"Fine. Now that the meds have worn off, I figure that we can have an honest talk about this. When you said that you watch my videos...and that you like them...what did you mean?"

Tifa could sense Yuffie's frown give way to a slight giggle on the other end of the line.

"Oh, Tifa, I...you...Gawd, this is hard for me."

"Why?"

"Well, you're hot."

"But that's all?"

"Tifa, why did you slap me?"

"I need a slave."

"I sincerely hope you're joking. I'd much rather be treated as an equal."

"Don't worry. I'm just kidding. ('Fingers Crossed')"

There was a long silence between the two friends until Yuffie spoke up.

"Tifa, do you feel the same way that I do?"

"Sure, Yuffie. I'm not sure if we're on the same level here, but what about Vincent?"

"I saw how badly Cloud treated you. He's totally screwed you over. I'll always have a place in my heart for Vincent, but in the meantime, I'm steaming that Vincent would knowingly run away with him for whatever reason."

"This is hard for me too, Yuffie."

"Is it because I'm not as hot as you?"

"No, that's not it. Why be a rookie at 'hot' when you're a master at 'cute'?"

"Tifa..."

"Yes, Yuffie..."

"You're making me excited."

"Are you warm?"

"I'm licking the phone."

"Grossness!"

"Tifa!"

"I know, that's your line. Please, and I'm saying this from the bottom of my burning heart, come over to my place."

"Even better...you've never been to my place."

"What could you possibly have to match my hot-tub?"

"Vibrating bed."

"I'm so there."

(Just one Vicodin, for the road)

Yuffie's House- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

I imagine rose petals  
and neatly painted  
green walls.

I imagine love in buckets  
that line the halls...  
...my Valentine.

I imagine candy hearts  
falling down your  
luscious pipes.

I imagine how far it goes,  
your tongue on mine, like  
liquid honey.

"Welcome to my house!"

"Yuffie, no offense, but I can hear the walls praying for a spring cleaning."

Yuffie's house was nothing like she had originally thought. For one, it was tiny. The house contained only two cramped bedrooms, and one equally cramped bathroom. The living room and kitchen competed for the award of 'Biggest Room In The House'.

"I just moved in. Since Vincent left for a long time, I figured that it would be stupid to keep paying for our big house. Both of our paychecks together just barely covered costs. Besides, he promised me a new house when he gets hired officially by ShinRa again. So for now, I'm crashing here."

"...In a trailer..."

"Yeah. I like it. You ready to try out the bed?"

"Yes...it's just...I didn't think that was the only good thing you had."

"Tifa, don't ruin the mood."

"I don't think I have to."

"You look like you have something on your mind."

"I do. It's weird that our relationship is up and down all of the time."

"Well, Tifa, all we have to do is make a concerted effort to try to fix you."

"Is that all this is about?"

"No. It's all that's preventing what's it's really all about."

"Ha! Say that three times fast!"

Yuffie's bed was heavenly. It vibrated, just like she said, though even that wasn't quite what I expected it to be. I have to hand it to her, Yuffie Kisaragi can be a very compassion person. We kissed. We touched. I think it may have even opened my eyes to the idea that there may be a cure for me yet, and that cure is laying on my chest, feeling my heartbeat in the cold winter night.

If it is so wonderful, why then do I not have a sensual third-person narrative to tell the account in full detail? Maybe I'm not the butch here. To Yuffie, it may have been heaven. For me, it is a means to an end. Here's hoping that I might be capable of feeling something myself oneday.

Yuffie, if you ever read this, I do care for you. It will take time for me to meet you at your level of compassion, and I may even snap at you (a lot), but I need this. I need to feel loved, but I really don't feel like I can trust men any longer. (Heck, maybe I could interest her in a new job. Hmm, there's a thought!)


	9. My Yuffie Shot Me Down

Note: For those of you who don't care for the homosexual tendencies in this Chapter, don't fret. When Tifa is involved, nothing lasts forever.

It's funny that I intended this story to be nothing more than a companion piece to Psych Heart, yet, while it has a good ways to go to compare on hits, I only need 2 more reviews for Bleeding Heart to become my 'Most Reviewed Story'.

And if you're wondering about where I got the inspiration for the poem 'Vladimir Escher', I think it's quite obvious: I just happened to be looking at M.C. Escher drawings while reading Vladimir Nabokov's 'Lolita'. What an odd combination!

**Chapter 9- My Yuffie Shot Me Down**

Vladimir Escher- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

My nymphet of choice is etched on the walls  
of the staircase that stretches  
horizontally downwards.  
As I circle back to where I've been, I  
touch the face of every sign,  
every sketch of my Yuffie.  
The faces, innocent, increasingly  
hostile as I walk down, more  
so until it fades to joy.

Turn my eyes from all this way. It is proof  
that I am dastardly vile.  
Hide my face from your face, now  
the rays of sun fall flat at my feet, and  
I see you in my eyes by  
the vertical waterfall.  
The look in your eyes, an alloy of fear  
and knowledge of the Lilith  
within, it still betrays you.

It tells me that you require more love than  
I can give. My old adult  
skin breathes for your smooth young hands.  
Who could fail to recognize the demon  
angel in your calm footsteps,  
or the addiction in mine?  
Intertwined together, like a lizard  
inside this prison of bars,  
the math is simple enough.

Our paths, they cross and intersect with this  
blind fury and optical  
peace until, triumphantly,  
we are forced into shape, just as we are.  
Let the world know that your young  
innocence and my vain mind  
form a new Star of David they can't see.  
We could fall forever for  
'us', and never touch the ground.

____________________________________________

For the first time in years, my hands are trembling with excitement as I write this. I know it's only been a few days, but there's something about this Yuffie addiction that is greater and more comforting than any other hang-up I've ever had! I haven't had a need to go to the medicine cabinet, and food is the farthest thing from my mind.

Yuffie and I wear the same dress size now, but I think she's alarmed by that. I'm thrilled by it, and I so wish for her to know everything that I have told you. Have I ever told you, mysterious reader, that I care for you, too? I would not write another letter if I didn't have your best interests in mind. When I cycle through this vain merry-go-round of futile emotion, hopefully I'll have enough stories and poems to fit into a big novel. Then you can read all about me, and take me in as long as you like, until you can't shovel it down anymore. (It's then that you'll ask yourself...who's addicted now?)

___________________________________________

"Tifa, how much do you really love me?"

"A lot."

"I mean, to what lengths would you go to keep me happy?"

"I would lay my life down for you. It's not all that valuable to me anyway."

"Is that your greatest sacrifice?"

"No. My greatest sacrifice would be.....coming out of the closet."

"Would you?"

"Of course I would...for you, I mean. What would you do for me, Yuffie?"

"I think I know you pretty well, so I know you'd be pretty interested...."

"In what?"

"Tifa, just say the word.....and I would carry your children for you. That is possible, isn't it?"

"It is. Cloud might have stopped me from sustaining life, but he couldn't snuff out the possibility of me still being able to create life. And I would like that very much, but who would the father be?"

"That's a good question. Random donor?"

"Too risky."

"Vincent?"

"That's not fair to you."

"Cloud?"

"Hell no."

"...*teehee!*..."

"Yuffie, why are you giggling? What's so funny?"

"....I hear that Rufus and Reno are regular donors."

"Close, but no cigar."

"How about Sakura?"

"Ha-ha-ha! Now that's funny!"

"No, seriously, Tifa."

"N-O. No."

"Gawd, why ya gotta be so picky?"

"And you wouldn't be?"

"I'm different, you know that."

"Yeah, I know, Yuffie. You're the butch..."

"What?! I find that to be very offensive! Besides, you called me your slave. It sounds like you're the one who is in control."

"I don't know, Yuffie. No one really fits what I'm looking for."

"That's too bad. I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"Do you think we might be going too fast?"

"Definitely."

"So you want to take a step back..."

"Tifa..."

"Yes..."

"Will you hold my hand?"

"Gladly. It's so soft and..."

*RING*  
*RING*

______________________________________

Of course, it had to be my phone. (Just my luck: it's Cloud.)

"Tifa, I saw where you called earlier. Why would you be intimate with so many men? That's not like you."

"How does it make you feel? Does it make you want to come back and fight again? 'Cause I'm ready for you now. If you ever show up on my doorstep again, I swear, I will knock your block off!"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Wait...say what!? You're sorry!? You sure are!"

"Tifa, I hate to see you like this. It hurts me inside. You know it does."

"Don't try to think you'll weasel your way back into my arms! That trick doesn't work with me, especially after all that you've put me through!"

"Tifa...what are you talking about?"

"Oh, so now you're denying it? That's low, Cloud. That's low enough for me to just hang up on you, permanently!"

"I'm serious, Tifa.....I'm training near the Forgotten City with Vincent. We're trying to get back into Soldier, and the first thing I had to do was get drained of all of my old Mako. I don't remember much."

"If you're so forgetful, then why did you remember me calling earlier?"

"It's like it was so long ago...all the gaps and skips in my head. They fixed me, Tifa. Well, partially. There's only one thing that can fix the gaps in my memory, and that's you."

"Are you able to live a normal life with these gaps?"

"Yes."

"How much have you forgotten?"

"Just whatever you're upset over.....and stuff like my favorite foods and colors have been reset."

"Then you can live. I'm not coming."

"I need you desperately. I need you to fill in the gaps, so that I can truly be forgiven!"

"Goodbye, Cloud!"

"Fine...I'll come to you!"

"I said no! Can't you get that through your thick skull? For cripes sake, just leave me the hell alone, please!..."

"I'm still coming. I need to see you again."

*CLICK*

_____________________________________________

*RING*

"What kind of coincidence is this, Tifa? Now my phone's ringing too!"

I could read it all across Yuffie's face: the odd look that she'd had over the course of our week together: that goofy torn-between-two-heavens look. She had been waiting for Vincent to call the whole time.

When we kissed, I was Vincent. When we held hands, I was the man in red. When we laid down together, I wore the cape.

She smiled more now about Vincent than she ever did about me. Jealous? I thought you'd never ask. I could hear Vincent on the other side of the line, telling Yuffie that I 'really need to let Cloud get his memory back' and 'everything will be fine again'. I softly whispered in Yuffie's ear, "Look at me. I can never be fine again."

She wagged her index finger in my face.

"Talk to the hand, Tifa. I'm busy with Vincent."

_____________________________________________

He called her Baby-Cakes.  
She called him Lover Boy.  
He told her that he dreamt of her last night.  
She told him that she was dreaming of him right now.  
He said, "I'll come back for you one day, but I don't know when."  
She was speechless, only uttering a low moan.

I got up off the bed.  
She wagged her finger again.  
I put my coat on and headed for the door.  
She took the cell phone from off her ear.  
Yuffie asked calmly, "Why are you leaving?"  
I boldly flipped her off.

_____________________________________________

You're Not Ready For Me Yet- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Your job has been stripped,  
and I strip for a job.  
You sip, and I toss back a few.  
You play house with Vinny  
and flirt on the side.  
I placed my attention on you.

You used to be hardcore.  
Vin softened you down  
'til you'll only do what he'll let.  
I started soft,  
but just look at me now.  
You are not ready for me yet.


	10. If They Catch Me

Note: If you like the poetry that I have posted on Bleeding Heart, then I'm sure you will be happy to hear that I have posted a new story called 'The Lockheart Project'. It is a collection of some of the best poetry on this story as well as some others that I have written from the POV of other characters. It's under the Poetry category, and rated M. (Just in case.)

**Chapter 10- If They Catch Me**

If They Catch Me- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

If they catch me, I'm so dead. Everything slips into your view by happenstance, and that's how it will always be remembered. If they catch me, I will walk out and not stop walking until I see sand. I want to walk that far, but I don't know how long my legs can take me. I don't know how much food I could pack to keep me. Yes, if they catch me, I'm lower than dirt, with no future to hope for.

But if they don't catch me,  
keep on doing...  
...they're not too good at catching.

But I still hop out of my chair.

(Catch me doing what, exactly?)

In the end, nothing really changes. A punishment waits for those who endanger, when there is no one in any real danger. Imperceptible.

Perhaps my sin will catch up to me when the files get corrupted...buy a new one.

Where are they going, what are they talking about, who's looking?

If I was a fly on this wall, watching over my own back, I would be watching over my own back.

When I write, I write. When I read, I read. When I surf the web...I surf water.

The sign says 'Shark!', but there are none there.  
The sign must be removed...it lies.  
The first day without the sign is the day the shark strikes.

Gosh, and I thought today was a free day!

___________________________________________

So Yuffie can't keep her mind off of Vincent. No big deal. I'll just...no, I already did that. Okay, then I'll...nope. Did that too. What's a girl to do when she don't feel nothin'?

*Ding Dong!*

Aw crap! I forgot Cloud was coming today!

___________________________________________

From the moment I heard the knock, I could sense that brand-new-man sound in his voice. He was happy. That sure was different. Still, there was no way in hell that I was going to let him back in.

"What do you want, Cloud?"

"I came back for you, Tifa! I've changed, I promise. All of the excess Mako was drained, and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"Too late."

"I need your help to get my memories back."

"You really want to remember what life was like in this past year?!"

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't."

"Why not?"

"Cloud Strife, you can't handle the memories!"

"Oh...I see. You know, I was just hoping that you could tell the difference."

"You look different, I'll give you that."

"Trust me, Tifa. Please, that old man wasn't me! You have to believe that the Mako clouded my judgement."

"I'm never letting you in, ever!"

"So...I guess you're the one with the problems now?"

I thrust open the door and let him have it.

"You rotten abuser! You filthy, no good, lower-than-a-sack-of-dirt worm of a man! How dare you insinuate that I'm crazy! You're the one who's crazy, coming in here like everything's all better now!"

"But Tifa, I have changed! I promise!"

"I'm not giving you a single chance, scumbag!"

"But I said 'I'm sorry!'"

"And I said 'Go away!'"

"Tifa...I noticed that you haven't filed for divorce yet. Are you going to?"

"God yes!"

"I'm not signing."

"If you don't sign them, I swear I'll hurt you!"

"...And then you'll be the abuser."

"GET OUT NOW!!!"

That's when I tried to punch him. Unfortunately, he saw it and ducked out of the way. Cloud Strife took off down the street, where he can stay for all I care. I'm certainly not chasing him.

______________________________________

And so I chased him. The problem was, he was nowhere to be seen. Still, I had a burning rage inside of me that wanted to hunt him down and do to him every file thing that he had done to me.

As I walked down the streets in pursuit of someone that I could not see, I balled hands up into fists. My blood starting pumping a mile a minute, and I suddenly felt like punching something.

I know I must have looked like the Bride of Frankenstein: such a beautiful body, but with hair that was frizzing in all different directions, and a demonic bloodlust stare in my eyes.

I started asking people on the street corners, "Where...is...Cloud?"  
Nobody knew the answer.  
Finally, there was a man by the gate of the town that shakily answering, "He, well, uh, he left town. He just took off, really quick."

That was the last thing I wanted to hear. All of my pent-up emotions felt is if they would pour out of me and endanger these innocent people, right in the middle of town. But of course, there was one place where I could get a bit of privacy...the place where his prissy-face former mistress grew up: The Chapel.

I swear, I must have levitated off of the ground as I headed to the church, because I know I didn't walk all that way. Maybe it's the adrenaline kicking in, but I don't remember walking. I just remember being there at the church. In theory, it was the worst place to unleash all of my anger. In actuality, it was a welcome mat for me.

I dashed up to the nearest bench and kicked it, as hard as I could. It wasn't bolted to the floor, so it went flying off into the corner. I ran to the front, where the flowers grew, and ripped out every precious daisy, rose, and tulip that Aeris had ever grown. Still, my fire wasn't quenched.

I picked up the old hymn books and tossed them across the church. Pages flew out of a lot of them, leaving a big mess of paper on the floor.

There was only one thing big enough for me to target that could quench the fire in me: The huge stained-glass window at the back of the Chapel.

I picked up another one of the hymnals and flung it as hard as I could through the expensive window. The glass shattered in the middle, and the mural now looked as if the Virgin Mary had been sliced, straight through the belly.

That's when I heard the idiot.

"You're still looking for me?"

"Do you value your life, Cloud?"

"Exactly. That's why I've brought the guards. It's illegal to vandalize a church. You should know that."

I spat in his face and muttered, "You're going to arrest me?"

"Of course."

The guards tried to restrain me, but they couldn't hold me for long. I just kept kicking and screaming for them to get off of me. Finally, they decided that it would take more than one person to take me down. In fact, it took three people to put the cuffs on me.

I do not think I am done with Cloud yet.

_______________________________________

I was born for this- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

The feeling of holding off  
unfriendly hands  
as they try to restrain  
sets my nerves firing.

To feel like an animal,  
kicking and screaming,  
"Let me go!  
You won't take me down!"

The sense that I am  
as strong as three men  
floods my mind.  
I was born for this.

I will die for this.


	11. The ink breaks in the pregnant poem

Note: I hate to say this, but sometimes the story seems hard to write, since there's not much farther down for Tifa to go. So then, one must undo... I don't know how you'll like the title of this chapter or the fact that this chapter is basically a long poem, but it sure does say more than something two words long.

**Chapter 11- The Paper, having fulfilled its necessary duty, carried the epic poem to full-term until, inevitably, its ink broke**

Restore/Rise- An epic poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Restore.

Rise.

Two simple words like lemons squirting at the eyes.

Restore.

Rise.

Two evening sounds like women burning in their thighs.

Restore.

Rise.

Two viruses like helpless ones yet spread.

If they do nothing, how can we survive?

We, as full-term mothers, birth the day.

The night is our relaxing. The lines of

This stanza look like Charlie Brown's

Pitiful little Christmas tree.

* * *

It is too boring to wait, they tell,

For the watchman to let me from my cell.

I squirm like Dante thrust in hell,

Enamored with a lawn ornament.

It stares deeply at me still,

Fake flamingo, point is shrill.

'Happy 23rd!' on its bill.

My birthday comes and goes.

* * *

Cards from home, gifts from friends;

Others inmates, all fenced in,

Check the famous mailbox bin.

Nothing for me here.

* * *

So they've locked me in here for six months. Destruction of property, damaging a public building, vandalizing a religious establishment. I'm starting to really see the light, but it makes me wish to close my eyes.  
Die, Restore and Rise!  
Meet your most untimely end!  
Your day is nigh; the earthen fly.  
Restore and Rise, fall to die!

* * *

What gaiety is this? (Curious and Curiouser that!)

My cell block is a test subject:

Effect of yoga on delinquents.

I bend for time, and my awkward stance

Likens me to the Tower of Pisa.

My mind is cleared, my soul is clean.

Tell me, what is my name?

* * *

The chaplain came by my cell today.

His gray hair got in the way.

He brushed it to another place,

And brushed again to save some face.

He said that I should come tonight

To chapel service. I said 'Alright'.

To say the least, I was not impressed.

One girl's nodding off, and another hates to be here.

Every prayer says 'It's not fair.'

There's no farther now, I'm running out of fear.

Every fair says no to prayer.

The chaplain says Jesus

Is loving and kind,

But I know I'm not a Tuesday's Child.

* * *

The bread tastes like floorboard,

And the floorboard like bread,

But eating the ground

Means 'Off with your head!'

* * *

Cleanup duty is just alright.

My sweat drops flush on the pavement.

I've never been more happy

To have TV, not color,

Three channels, but one gets the news.

Are we all a part of a bruise

That's been pasted on us

By the guardians?

Are we shoveling

Money at money,

Fighting fierce fires

With water guns?

Is the first sign of total collapse

A sign that we're happy and poor?

* * *

Back To The Roots

Is fine for a few,

I am one, I confess, I confess.

But what are we doing

For the cause of another

By shacking up far away from home?

Is Mother Earth depressed?

Has she sunken yet?

Or is she defined by her

Sadist seed?

All the world empires

Shout out from their graves

That none of their monetary plans

Worked out like they should have,

Yet Capitalists

Still shake their fists

And say that we'll never go down.

But are we the rule

More than the exception?

Is longevity

Just a ruse?

And are we to fall

Where the cash used to be,

With no working plan

To be found?

* * *

Restore.

Rise.

I don't think they will die.

Restore.

Rise.

...be here longer than I.

Restore.

Rise.

Look down at the sky.

Rise.

Restore.

The eyes fall asleep.

* * *

I was released from prison after three months, since I had exhibited good behavior. Cloud Strife never visited, not once.

* * *

Don't say you know how I feel

Until you step into the closet

And take a walk in the shoes

Of every man and woman who's left theirs behind:

The Keds that were worn by a twelve-year-old girl, told that she's pregnant with eight on the way.

The Timberlands worn by the lady in Memphis who thinks that she's one of the guys. She tries out the rock climb and finds out too late, she isn't be as strong as a man.

The Nikes of the young man, a newlywed groom who loves his wife with all of his heart. But she's started talking nonsense from the top of her head, and he might have to put her away.

* * *

Why am I to care

About people everywhere

When I am trapped here in myself?

'Cause I am the Earth,

My spirit runs green,

And I beg to turn back into dust.

* * *

Seventh Heaven's still open.

A miracle, I'm sure.

I guess Yuffie cleaned up the place.

I want to look pretty

The first time I walk in,

But will this darkened form

Reject frilly lace?

I walk in dressed casual, and nothing has changed. Not even me.


	12. Brackish Water Ottoman

Note: Only 6 more reviews to go before I reach 50. Let's get there, please. It's still not my most widely read story, but I love the participation that everyone has put into this. Let's keep it rolling. I promise that this chapter will actually have some good storyline in it.

**Chapter 12- Brackish Water Ottoman**

Brackish Water Ottoman- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Water so deep, I'm wading in it.  
Bills to pay. Keep lights lit.  
Check. Off the list, and the creek did rise.  
Ode to a Jew girl's eyes.

The flood is in my bedroom.  
Feet still ache. Certain doom.  
Kick. Up my feet, like a tired artisan.  
Brackish water ottoman.

* * *

When the rains came, the anonymous faces in cabs took off for bed across town. Granted, Tifa Lockheart never had that luxury, since she worked most of the night. She wasn't overly surprised to see Reno walk through the door. In Reno's mind, the world was his bed.

"Well, Teef. I hear you sprung yourself out of the slammer."

"They let me out."

"So, what's up between you and Cloud? You do know that he went back to his training in the Forgotten City, right?"

"I wasn't aware. The topic of Cloud and I is off limits."

"To me, or to everyone."

"To you."

"Feisty, aren't we?"

"Reno, I can have you thrown out if you don't order anything."

"Fine then. I'll order and keep talking."

"Grand. What would you like?"

"Give me a good red wine, on the rocks."

"Red wine on rocks, coming up."

As Tifa poured Reno's wine, she could feel a pair of eyes staring at her. Of course, she couldn't really blame him. Not only did Tifa have a rack to kill for, but she was also wearing a short black skirt at the time. As she was walking from the bar to the counter of drinks behind her, she stepped over the heating vent on the floor, which shot the back end of the skirt straight up, revealing both her lacy teal blue panties and her shapely derriere.

"Reno, why are you staring at my ass?"

"Because it's there."

"Well, your drink is here. Make eyes at it instead."

"Tifa, has anyone ever told you that you're gorgeous?"

"Maybe once...twice...a million times."

"Where's the sarcasm coming from? It's not Cloud, is it?"

"Cloud tried to tear me down. The last thing that he wanted was for me to cling onto him and become molded in his image."

"Perhaps that's exactly what he wanted."

"How would you know?"

"Out of all the times that he hurt you, why didn't you call in the Turks? We could have helped you if you had filled out the proper paperwork."

"And I could have filled out the paperwork if you were more helpful. I guess we're at an impasse then."

"If that's how you think of it. It's a shame what he did. No knockout beauty deserves to get beaten down like that. A sad affair, it was."

"And I'm sure that's all that you feel. 'It was a sad affair, but that's it, so let's just get over it.'"

"Yes, actually. You don't want to be treated like a victim, so I won't."

"You'll just stare at my huge melons all night long."

Reno stood up and walked towards the jukebox. He placed a quarter in the slot and picked a very appropriate song for the moment: Lionel Richie's 'All Night Long'.

"Reno, that's not funny."

"I'm not trying to be. I just want to show you something."

"And that would be..."

"That there is a song for almost every situation in life. Try it. Tell me what you're feeling."

Tifa placed a quarter in the machine and chose "Condemned" by Mandi Perkins. Reno listened as the jukebox sang the words _'I'm condemned...I have no feeling...stay away...I'll only hurt you.'_

Reno reached back to take his wine glass in hand as he commented, "Fair enough. Is that what you want?...for everyone to stay away?"

"Yes. That's it exactly."

"Loneliness only makes it worse. Trust me, I would know."

"Sure you would. You live all by yourself in your castle of emptiness, and the only thing to accompany you are your innumerable prostitutes."

"But I'm still lonely, in a sense. Tifa, here's a ten. I want to buy you a drink."

"I don't want one."

"I see. I thought you'd accept a free gift. I know that your financial situation can't be too great, since you've been behind bars for a while."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Reno. It's not looking too good."

"So what are you going to do to fix it?"

"That's easy."

Tifa walked up the steps to the upper floor and entered her bathroom. When she came back down, Tifa was holding some pills in her hand.

"Tifa, is that what I think it is?"

"It sure is: Vicodin."

"How much do you want for it?"

"How much do you have?"

"I've got a twenty."

"Alright."

And with that short exchange, Tifa Marie Lockheart had conducted her first drug deal.

* * *

Respirator- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

I dream of flakes,  
white flakes of vicodin,  
streaming through the vent.  
Flakes come to respirate.  
Where do they all go?  
Going now to lay me low.

Dealing isn't dreamy.  
Phone rings violently  
inside of its cradle.  
Drown out the respirate.  
How much do we know?  
I am a young prancing doe.

So many people  
come and knock at my door.  
Never done this before.  
Is it me...Cloud...  
or could it be Reno?  
I swim in respirator flow.


	13. To The Artist

Note: This chapter is a tribute to a very good friend that I knew in high school who is excellent at painting and drawing pictures. Her name is Holly Ann Sailors, and you can view her artistic creations at her website. FanFiction won't let me put the address here, but just Google her name. (This chapter is short because I don't have much time in which to type it.)

**Chapter 13- To The Artist**

On a corner in Midgar- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Town, walking...  
straining to make it home  
with a burden on my shoulders.

The supply has run out.

Truth be told, I cannot,  
nay, will not, buy  
from anyone else, and  
the doctor's suspicious.

There is a young lady,  
staring at my Bar,  
just looking at it.

"This is nice."

I smiled and countered,  
"Yes, it sure is."

"I'd like to paint it,  
and maybe you too."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'd like to paint an image  
that depicts this bar,

and you."

"What does that require?"

"I'll need to look a while,  
really take it all in."

"Um...sure, go ahead."

____________________________________________

Well, this is certainly odd. I've never been asked permission to be in a painting before. I just hope that it turns out good. I'm sure it will.

_____________________________________________

It was eleven o'clock in the morning, and the young painter had decided that she would begin by making a sketch of the inside of the building. Tifa, knowing that she would be expecting 'friends' later, was becoming more and more inquisitive about her new guest.

"So, I don't think I caught your name."

"The name's Holly. What's yours?"

"Tifa Lockheart."

"That sounds really nice."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No. I need a clear mind to concentrate on my work."

"Oh...I see. Can I sell you a soda?"

"No thanks. I'm trying to lose a little weight."

Tifa tried to imagine why Holly would want to go on a diet. Sure, she was the slightest bit pudgy, but it was the kind of extra weight that most men would consider attractive rather than unseemly. In fact, Holly was a very beautiful woman. She had curly brown hair that came down to her shoulders, and her face was radiant. It looked like she smiled a lot.

Tifa could tell that Holly's most impressive feature was her backside, which was shapely in a way that wouldn't draw your eye automatically, yet sluiced through your subconscious moments later. The young painter also happened to be a bit short, barely over 5 feet tall. Still, she was tall in spirit.

"Do you have free water?"

"Sure. It's free."

"Alright. I'll have some of that."

"I'm expecting guests later, so I would appreciate it if you stay glued to your work."

"Uh...okay. Why, you didn't do anything bad, did you?"

"Not bad, only necessary."

__________________________________________

After noontime, Reno arrived at the Bar. He looked like he needed a fix, and Tifa felt sorry that she couldn't offer him one.

"Hey, Teef! Do you have any more of the good stuff?"

"Shhh! Keep it down!"

Holly instantly suspected that something odd was going on, but she stayed attuned to her work anyway, just as she was told to do.

"No, I'm out."

"What do you mean? You don't keep a steady supply?"

"No, I don't."

"Then where are you pulling money in?"

"My video production manager is supposed to call me soon. He's working on an idea for a new film that I'll be in."

"I see. And then you'll have the good stuff, right?"

"Probably not. It was stupid of me to sell it the first time."

"Wow. Okay. But I know you. What's your addiction this time?"

"That's for me to know, and you to never find out."

"Peachy. Well, it's a shame. I guess I'll go find someone who can actually handle the business."

"You do that."

____________________________________

'A new addiction....always gotta have something new....that painter? No. I already tried that with Yuffie. Starvation? Don't think so. Barret? No, he already knows all about me.'

It was at that moment when Tifa Lockheart spotted an advertisement for a new religious building across town. It was called 'The Church of Wicca'.

____________________________________

Sometimes I wonder- A poem by Tifa Lockheart

Sometimes I wonder  
if I could ever cry again,  
ever be ashamed of myself,  
and wonder why I'm here again.

Sometimes I wonder  
if there's hope for someone like me,  
when this story will ever end,  
and if there's rehab for an addiction...

...to addictions.


	14. Tifa's First Sabbat

Note: The views expressed in this chapter most certainly are not the views of the author. They are simply being used as a literary device. I did a lot of research to make this chapter realistic, but I hope I haven't made it too long or too 'powerful', in more ways than one. If anyone feels like I may have plagiarized the ceremony, remember: this isn't something that one person does. These are the specified instructions that have been given for this ceremony every time it is to be performed. May God have mercy on my soul for writing this chapter.

**Chapter 14- Tifa's first Sabbat**

From the diary of Tifa Marie Lockheart- July 31, 2007

Tonight was the freakiest night of my life. I feel as if I have begun a dark process that will continue forcefully, until it reaches its divine conclusion. In all honesty, I'm beginning to have some second thoughts, and after I recount the events of this night, you'll know why.

Lately, I've been reading a very odd book: the book of Wicca. It was starting to feel a bit meaningless to just read the book without partaking in it, so I called up a friend that I knew in town who is involved in the local coven. Her name is Christine, and she is very tall with long blonde hair that streaks down her back like a golden sports car. I can't say that we are great friends, but we're acquaintances, at least.

I drove in her car down to the local coven. I was instantly awed by the extravagance of the building. It wasn't that big, but the box-shaped building had corners that swooped down like a castle in a Baroque-era painting. It was painted white, as was the inside. When Christine and I entered the door, we walked into an auditorium with rows of what looked like white church pews. At the front of the room, there sat a small table, adorned with many items to be used for the night's ritual. As I sat down, I instantly thought it to be quite generous for the dark group to invite a rookie to one of its most important gatherings.

At nine o'clock, when the moon shone brightest through the window, more and more of the ladies poured into the room, including the Priest and Priestess that stood at the front of the room. The Priestess was rather short, but she was young and beautiful. At first glance, she almost reminded me of a red-headed version of Aeris. The Priest that accompanied her was medium sized and marginally normal. There wasn't really anything special in their appearance, except for the black robes they were wearing.

The ceremony began as the Priestess blessed the altar, saying:

"I bless You now that You may aid. The energy flow as magic is made. I cast out negative energy, leaving only the positive to live and breathe within you as I start this Rite. Blessed be in joy, love and light."

Next, the Priestess picked up a wand from the altar, and swooped it through the air in the shape of a pentagram. She then placed the wand down and continued,

"Blessed be, O creature of light, tools now of magic with power and might."

The lady in red picked up a strange looking powder, and as it rested in her hand, she said:

"Witch's broom, swift in flight, cast out darkness, bring in light. Earth be hallow; air be clear; fire bright; as water heals. A sacred bridge this site shall be, as my will, so mote it be.

The Priestess then picked up a staff and swung it around in a circle, saying:

"I conjure thee, great womb of the Goddess Hecate! Cauldron of a witch's power, within who's sacred precinct are we separate from the world of care, safe from harm and strife. May it be a shield against all wickedness and evil; A boundary between the world of seekers and the realm of the Mighty Ones; a guardian and protection that shall preserve and contain the powers that we shall raise this night of the Dark Moon. Wherefore, do I bless thee and consecrate thee in the name of the Goddess Hecate."

As the Priestess blessed the water, incense, and salt on the altar, I couldn't help but look at the Priest. He seemed to be enjoying the ceremony, but I could tell by the look on his face that he felt out of place in such a Feminine religion. In title, he was supposed to be the most powerful person here. In actuality, he was probably the weakest. The lady in black stirred my soul again as she spoke:

"Come to me now, O winds of the East! Whirl and twirl 'til magic has ceased. Blow through my mind and the energy raise. Blow away clouds and blow away haze. The circle is opened- your power please lend your presence is welcomed- I bid you come in."

A candle was lit as the chant of fire began:

"Come to me now, O southerly fires! Warm light, pure strength- add flame to desires. Cleanse and purify all actions mundane. Protect well this circle with your pure light and flame. The circle is opened- your power please lend. Your presence is welcomed- I bid you come in."

A second candle was lit.

"Come now, O waters of the Western port! Tides rise and fall, and all harm abort. Wash away troubles and rinse away pain. Wash over my spirit with your oceans and rain. The circle is opened- your power please lend. Your presence is welcomed- I bid you come in."

A third candle was lit.

"Come, Earthly power to me from the North! Lend your strength and stability- give me your support. As your soil is fertile, this circle shall be. Nourish all works, as you nourish the tree. The circle is opened- your power please lend. Your presence is welcomed- I bid you come in."

The final candle was lit, and the Priestess waved her wand over the altar again as she continued:

"The Circle is sealed, and I am completely cut off from the outside world so that I may give honor to the Goddess Hecate, Great Goddess of the Dark Moon. Three candles I do light in honor of thee, O Goddess, this sacred night. White for the Maiden, pure as snow. Red for the Mother full within, and Black for the Crone, old and wise.

I call upon She who unveils the mystery, ancient Crone, Hecate, who reigns as darkness falls upon the unlit sky, Queen of Heaven, Earth and the Underworld. Hecate, this is your time, Eternal Goddess, Lady of the Night. I have prepared this sacred circle for you, O Wise One. Come now into me, your Priestess. Fill me with your presence, O gracious Queen of Witches, as I do perform this rite in your honor."

The Priestess turned around to face the crowd, and her eyes appeared like burning red coals that seared through the audience. She spoke as if she were Hecate in the flesh.

"I am the Queen of Magick, hidden in the deepest night. I am the mystery of the other world and the fear that coils about your heart in the times of your trial. I am the soul of nature that gives form to the Universe. My torches light the way for enlightenment and illumination. My sickle of death cuts away things that are dead and no longer needed. It is I who awaits you at the end of your spiral dance. I am She who has no secrets but a thousand secrets. I am the aged Old Crone of Darkness, whose face of death portends life anew and filled with Luna's secrets. All acts of magick and mysteries are my rituals, and my greatest ritual is love itself."

The priestess turned her gaze upon me. Her fiery eyes burned through my conscience as she seemingly addressed me personally:

"You who seek to remove my veil and know my true face, know that all your questing and efforts are for not, until thy own face beholds and knows the mysteries of thy own self.

For you to truly know me, you must look in your own heart and know and accept thy self. For those of you who call upon me and my powers for magick, beware! For my magick is swift and without regards to the consequences. Those that know me shall glide safely through troubles, for it is my dark cloak of protection that is wrapped about you. Close your eyes, my child, and call to me, for I am there, within your darkness.

In this most sacred Night of the Dark Moon and mystical hour of the night does the Goddess Hecate reign supreme, and in Her name do I now give Her praise. Hail to thee, Hecate! Hail to thee, Hecate! Hail to thee, Hecate, triple Goddess of the Moon!"

She suddenly stopped. A permeating silence filled the air until she divined through the air a thought that had occupied my head since the time at first I found the book of darkness.

"I sense that there is someone here that has ill will towards another person. Someone here has experienced…abuse…betrayal…and wants revenge. If I am correct, then speak now. Claim your grudge, and I can 'rectify' the situation."

Like an idiot, I raised my hand and said, "It is I. My ex-husband, Cloud, well, he's the one."

As soon as I had closed my mouth, the Priestess began a curse:

"Hecate, Dark One, hear my plea. Bring swift justice now, I ask of thee! Right the wrongs that have been done. Avenge me now, Oh Mighty One! Turn misfortune back to those who caused my problems and my woes. And heap upon them karmic debt, lest they all too soon forget their wrongful actions, words and deeds. Don't let them get away scot-free. Bring them forth from where they hide. Bring swift justice, wield your scythe. Hasten, Dark One! Hear my plea! Do what it is I ask of thee!"

My soul instantly welled up with emotion at the thought that Cloud was going to get what was coming to him. I don't know how strong the curse was, but it doesn't matter much to me.

After the curse was spoken, the Priestess ended the ceremony much like it had began, releasing back the spirit of Hecate from her body, the circle of magick from the room, and the light of fire from the four candles.

As long as that process had taken, I figured that the Drawing Down Of The Sun would take just as long. I was sadly mistaken.

The process was simple, with the Priest simply picking up a dagger from the altar and holding it as the Priestess kissed his body in areas that, symbolically, made the shape of a pentagram. After she did this, the ceremony was over.

Yes, my friends, that was it. A whole half an hour devoted to dark thievery for the women, and two minutes of eclectic ritual for the lone man. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.


	15. Diary Of A World Crashing Down

Note: Please tell me if you like this chapter and want to see more like it. It's a bit off topic, but I felt like this message was pouring out of me. As to what inspired me to write this...well, let's just say that: 1. A lot of Tifa's angst is coming straight out of me. 2. Sometimes, having your sins discovered inspires the greatest art of guilt.

**Chapter 15- Diary of a world crashing down**

Dear Diary,

Existence...

It was the thought that everything around me would fall apart unmercifully...that my enemies lay in wait for me outside the city gates. Still, there was no feeling more prevalent in my heart than the urge to face the music and accept fate for what it really is. In a sense, it is as much a beginning as it is a means to an end. It is as much paranoia as it is fact or condemnation. For that, I will calm my nerves even in the throes of those who oppress me. I will walk through those gates and keep walking, until the deep blue sea is walking inside of me...

...Existence.

I have heard that Cloud has indeed been cursed with a curse, something about a 'freak accident', sleeping and ironing simultaneously. His burns are the marks that flay everything into pieces made for a puzzle...a puzzle much maligned for the controversial story of a piece gone missing. Sincerely.

Sincerely.

Let fate wash down the backs of all those who follow every step that I have taken. In the end, my habits of life...love...imminent fixation...are deeply rooted in the oak and timber of a ship that is flying away through a cloud of inverted ducks, while burning. The hardest part is the waiting...the realization that the worst thing my captors can do is plot against my flaws and errors, seeing my mistake and not punishing me until I have twenty more mistakes just like it.

I will not dance until I hear the music play.

I have been slain from before the first utterance of my underground name, and I am also dead. My senses are an eclectic collection of everyone that ever screamed, 'I didn't think this would happen to me!' If it isn't one thing, it's another, so I rest in the idea that every good day leads to a horrible day, leads to the realization that there is at least one bad event in every day on record.

More blessed than I are the ones on TV that will be fed with a quarter for almost a week. On those dusty roads, and in those shoeless feet lie the feelings of a culture suffering in their young innocence. This is something even I cannot claim.

Death would not take me, Life would not love me, and all of my devices are precisely the things that have put me now to sleep.

Legend will look upon me with an upturned eye, seeing good...seeing bad. The ones that see bad only look at the worst times. Tell my life story to the man that wants to book me. It will prove to him that I deserve a second chance.

He will not hear of it.

He will not hear.

All cents and cents' ability rests only now on the ones that view the horrid deed and continue on their merry way, laughing and conversing.

How can a man be judged except that the judge not let it affect him?

If they would have me chopped down by the roots, I pray that they would do so instantly, lest I burst my soul for no apparent reason.

The waiting...  
...Eats away at me like a cancer.  
I can smile. I can continue on in the presence of sunshine and peace...magnificence. I will grin from ear to ear and fall as my legs buckle under me.

No, the worst is simply this...I may not be permitted to say my peace. I may be granted my one reprieve and final prayer, just to have my face shut up with tape and glue.

Will anyone accept an honest apology?

Okay, calming down now.

This has happened before...sort of. And i've made it through...sort of. They've hunted and found not, right?...Again?

But no. There were words I overheard, I know I heard them! To cut me off from the curse...or the curse cut off from me.

Pray for the latter, in this world where my fate, of all fates, is handed down by feminine hands and voices too old to be forgiving, too young to understand.

Will I be stripped away from everything that I have ever worked for, prayed for? My bar, what will become of it? I can say that I will never worry, but sadly, it seems impossible. Even the words drain from my mind and fail to curl back into every limb. And so it goes...it's my death I suppose, and it really matters much to me.

Am I so deranged to think that all my doings are normal? Harmless? Of no ill consequence? In the end, all girls realize that they don't actually want to die. Or is it 'die to want'? Quit talking about it, and quit the judgement. My hands wring nervously as I cry inside, 'This case is dismissed. Say the case is dismissed!'

Can I be traced? Do the questions that I ask lead to answers? Do I want to know the answers? The inner wish for the world at large is to stay in stasis, and just move on. Every time I have had this horrible feeling before, it has been for naught. Remember that!

The girl that is doing the painting of the inside of this beautiful house of horrors suspects nothing. I wish that she did. I wish they all did, for the sake of simply moving past this point. I have been in a jail before, and I have no intention of going back.

As for what it is that has cut me down to an inch of my realization, and seemingly reformed my mind, that is quite a simpler tale than you would expect...

...A threat. Yes, that's it. A threat.

It's been said that a man, just for laughs, sent a message to ten total strangers, saying, "We know your secret. Leave town now." All ten strangers packed their bags and headed out.

I am one. Where are the other nine?

Do you lament with me? Do you lament for me? Are you inquisitive as to what lamenting is?

They will let me have my leave. Are they looking for further evidence? Am I really off the hook? Will I wake tomorrow to find my sins splayed out across my body? I am want for answers. Trust me, I could go on for days...

...days and nights.

Some nights, I sleep so that I can love. Others, I love so that I can sleep. What is a more fearsome enemy, history or a glowing black light?

I know they have their evidence. Perhaps not as much as they'd like...perhaps they search for more. But isn't that a loophole? Isn't it an obligation to stop foul play at first sight? Then why do they let me sit here, with no justice sought?

Because this is the big one.

I don't want to be alone.

I don't want to die.

I have been forced into paranoia for so long that I'm beginning to develop real paranoia. That line didn't flow...self-conscious...like a lamb led to the slaughter.

It is inevitable. I will have to leave, and let them to their plans. I will have the weekend, and let them to their plans.

What if there is no plan?

What if they can't trace me?

Trace what?

I...Tifa Marie Lockheart...have many secrets hidden inside. Secrets that I could never tell my readers. The chief of all...indecency. Lewdness spread across the public servers like so many ooze-dripping Hard Drives.

If they can hear me now, I've sold away all hope....?

It is fiction....?

The worst shred of evidence in the case against me and all of those keys are the bedsheets....doesn't prove anything.

I really could go on forever. Will you allow it? Am I permitted into your homes? Do you want more of this? Less? Never should have clicked on that page?

I Do Not Care. This is my life.

The editor will not convince me to trim these thousand pages.

They let it go. They know it was me, and they let it go. They still know. It's easy to buck against a calm wind.

My words can spew from my nostrils like everything we once were, but this hourglass threatens to shut down the system...5 minutes.

I take the keyboard and hide it under the desk, with me.

If I type real quiet...and I scrunch up tight...they might not be able to cut the transmission.

They might not...

(At greatest cost, the rest was lost)...

?


	16. Making Trades

**Warning: This chapter contains sexual content.**

Note: I'm sorry for waiting so long to update. I've had this chapter in mind for a while, but FanFiction just now got their login glitch fixed, so here it is. This is the longest chapter I've ever posted, and it is my gift to you, the readers.

**Chapter 16- Making Trades**

Busy Day- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

A showing at 8: The painting elite.

Surrender at 9: From darkness I retreat.

Shooting at 10: Filming dreams in the sheets.

Late lunch at 2: Lay off the meat.

Addiction at 3: The odds to beat.

Barret at 4: Marketing me.

Guest at 5: Turn up the heat.

Dinner at 6: And theater seats.

Party at 9: People to greet.

Home at 11: The world at my feet.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today was the longest day of my life, and I'm glad I have a way to bitch about it.

August 3rd started off with the rays of sunlight coming in through the window and shining down on my naked body as I lay in bed, under the covers.

At first, I thought that I smelled the magnificent aroma of biscuits in the oven. Knowing this to be impossible, I was very puzzled until I discovered why.

Yuffie was sitting on the bed beside me.

There was an apron tied around her body, and she was just staring at me.

"Yuffie...you fixed biscuits."

"I sure did. I was hoping that we could reconcile our differences and be friends again."

"I'm going back to sleep. Get out of my house."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I thought Vincent was coming home this morning."

"He is, and I'm really excited about that, but I really want us to be friends!

Will you please accept my offering of freshly-baked biscuits?"

"How about this. You keep talking. I'll fall asleep and pretend that I'm listening."

I closed my eyes and rested my head back onto the pillow.

"Tifa, I saw on your schedule that you've got a busy day ahead of you. If you don't get

out of bed, I'll have to get you out myself."

Silence.

"Alright, Tifa. You asked for it."

Yuffie proceeded to pull away the covers, revealing my naked body to her wandering eyes.

"Yuffie, stop it! I'm naked!"

"Then get up."

"Why don't you bring the biscuits to me?"

"Wrong answer."

What Yuffie did next really shocked me. I didn't know she had it in her.

Yuffie reached out and started rubbing my chest.

"Tifa, they're so huge! They're like majorly overstuffed pillows!"

"Yuffie...I need...you...to stop."

"Why? It seems that you like it."

"I do. That's why I said 'need' instead of 'want'."

"What do you mean? Do you have some kind of secret?"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I need to get dressed."

"Oh, hey...I was wondering. Are we still on for dinner and a movie tonight?"

"Sure."

"Then can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Go commando."

"All day long?"

"All day."

"But Yuffie, my nips will show!"

"I know."

"Alright. I'll do it."

"Good. Now tell me your secret!"

"No. You'll have to wait for the video."

When I left to get dressed, Yuffie had her hand over her mouth and a dreamy look in her

eyes.

* * *

At eight o'clock, I was sitting on a stool at the bar when Holly came in. She was holding

the finished paintings that she had created of me and the building. Needless to say, they

were amazing! The Seventh Heaven Bar was depicted in very beautiful pastel colors, and

my portrait looked like it came straight off of a still-frame from one of my videos.

She didn't ask to be paid, but I gave her 1,000 gil anyway.

* * *

At nine o'clock, I picked up the phone and dialed the number of my darkly disturbed

blonde-haired friend.

"This is Tifa Lockheart. May I speak to Christine?"

"You're talkin' to her."

"Oh. Sorry, Chris. I didn't recognize your voice over the phone. Anyway, I'm just calling to say that I don't think the whole 'Wicca' thing is going to work out for me."

"Why? Did the Cloud curse not work?"

"Sort of. He did burn himself while ironing last week, or so I've heard. But that's not the reason why."

"Then what is? Too intimidating? Too evil?"

"No. It just didn't appeal to me. The whole ceremony just felt like we were praying to

fairies and playing Dungeons and Dragons or something."

"What's wrong with D&D?"

"Nothing. I just...wasn't entertained by it."

"It's for the best. You wouldn't have made it far anyway."

*click*

Yeah, some friend she was.

* * *

At 9:30, I was driving to work when I received a phone call from my director.

"Hey, Tifa!"

"Hey, Johnny."

"Don't bother coming into work today."

My jaw dropped when I heard those words come over the line.

"Why not?"

"You've been traded."

"Traded?! I thought that only happened in sports!"

"Sorry, kid. You're good and all, but you're a liability. I can't be constantly keeping an

eye on my girls. I traded you for that feisty red-head with the big backside, Silent

Springs."

"Are you kidding me!? You traded me, an aspiring actress with size E boobs, for a mute

butt-model?"

"Yes, but don't worry. You're working for that agency across town. They're called

Shocker Productions."

"You mean the Shocker Productions?! The one that actually puts some plot into their

movies?"

"You've heard of them?"

"They're only the best company in the whole world of adult films!"

"Cool. I have a friend over there named Rico, and he specifically requested that you work alongside him on their new film."

"Wow! That's awesome! Thanks, Johnny!"

"Yeah, no problem. Just keep your nose out of trouble, okay?"

"Sure thing."

* * *

When I arrived at Shocker Productions, I was escorted to the office of Rico Gunsalvo.

"Hello, Tifa. Please take a seat."

As I sat down, I noticed that Rico was one of the most beautiful men I had ever met in my life. He appeared to be of Spanish descent, and his dark hair was parted to the side in a way that made him look five years younger. He had such large muscles, strong forearms, and big hands. Unfortunately, on one of those hands was a wedding ring. Drat!

"Hi, Rico! Do you work out?"

"I do. Do you?"

"Yes, I do. Anyway, as you know, I have specifically requested your services. But

before you sign the contract, I have to ask: Do you have a prior or current medical

condition, other than the whole 'no kids' thing? Johnny already informed me of that one."

"No. I'm very healthy."

"Good. In that case, feel free to sign on the dotted line."

I signed the contract and smiled. I had just been welcomed with open arms into the most

prestigious adult film company in all of Gaia!

"So, Tifa, do you have any special talents that we can use on film?"

"Yes, but it's kind of embarrassing."

"Why?"

"Because I'll have to take off my shirt."

"Okay. It's not like you haven't done that before."

"I know, but this is personal. Here, I'll just show you."

I removed my shirt, and as I pulled it over my head, my boobs bounced and jiggled.

Rico's head seemed to bounce along with them.

"I'm sure you've wondered why they're so big. Until now, no one except my ex-husband

knew this secret. Watch."

I began to rub my breasts softly. I squeezed them and lightly pinched my nipples, which

were now extended like two tender pink buttons. After a few minutes of massaging them, I began to leak breast milk.

"I didn't know you were a mother."

"I'm not."

"Wow. We can definitely use that. I like it! Let's go see some of your fellow coworkers,

shall we?"

After I put my shirt back on, Rico guided me past dressing rooms that lined one of the

larger hallways. A lot of the girls were rookies, and I didn't recognize them. Honestly

though, there's not a lot of people in the business that I do recognize yet. Rico stopped

the tour as we passed by the last two rooms on the hall.

"This room belongs to our most experienced employee, Kandi Kayne."

Kandi's door was open, and she was laying on her bed. She was blonde and very skinny.

In fact, I would venture to say that she isn't the kind of person to showcase a particular

body part. Kandi Kayne's calling card was simple: she was tall.

She stood to greet me, and Kandi almost had to duck down under the doorframe.

"Hi, my name's Kandi. You're the new girl, right?"

Gosh, her teeth are white. When she smiled at me, her mouth was like an explosion of

bright light. Kandi Kayne is easily the nicest person I have ever met in this industry.

"Yeah, my name's Tifa."

"What's your talent, Tifa?"

"The boobs."

"Oh...yeah."

I almost cringed when I heard that tone to her voice. It was that 'Oh yeah, i've seen a

thousand big-chested stars come and go in my time' kind of tone.

"My talent is the height, obviously."

"How tall are you?"

"Seven feet, two inches."

"Wow! That's neat."

"Yeah, sometimes. Can I give you some advice?"

"Sure. I'm all ears. Rico said you had a lot of experience."

"Yes. I'm 31 years old. I've been in this business for 9 years, all of them with this

company. My advice is to go out there and act like it's your life at stake. In order to

make it in this field, you have to really sell it. Always be more than just a pretty face."

"Thank you. I'll remember that."

"See you later, Tifa."

"See you."

The next door on the hall was labeled, Tina Farthing. Rico knocked on the door and

whispered to me, "This is our highest selling girl. She can be a bit rough sometimes."

"I see."

When Tina opened her door, I could see that she was absolutely gorgeous. She couldn't

have been a day older than 21. In fact, Tina looked so cute with her curly brown hair,

rosy cheeks, and her slender figure, it would be a safe bet to predict that she was a

Homecoming Queen in her recent past. Oh, how I wish her personality matched her

beauty!

"Hey, Tina! I'm the new girl: Tifa!"

"And?"

"...And I was wondering if you had any advice for me."

"Nope. Not really. I don't help my competition."

"But we're in the same company."

"True, but everyone competes to be the highest seller. I could give you some pithy advice about how you should look pretty and be a great actress, but guys don't want to see a Grammy-winning performance. They want smut."

Tina gave an evil smirk, and I instantly realized who she looked like. Tina Farthing was a dead ringer for Tina Fey. I guess that's where she got her stage name. Obviously, this

Tina was a lot hotter.

"Uh...okay."

"So, what's your talent?"

"I have big boobs...and I have milk even though I'm not a mother."

"Wow. Only like 1% of all people in the world can claim that."

"You're impressed?"

"No. 'Cause you can't do this..."

Tina reached into one of her cabinet drawers and pulled out a Hershey candy bar. I stood

in shock as she stuffed the entire bar down her throat and gulped it down in one smooth

motion.

"Good Lord! Oh my...just...Oh my God!"

"That's right. I put the 'Shocker' in Shocker Productions."

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"No. It makes for some interesting trips to the bathroom, though. Don't worry. I don't

usually do that with food."

Rico interrupted, "Tina has the deepest throat in the industry, and..."

"Hey Ric! I wasn't talking to you. Now get out of my room, both of you! I need to rest

my pipes."

When Tina slammed the door in our faces, I mentioned to Rico, "I don't like her."

"Neither do I, but she sells. Let's see the director."

For a while, I thought that today would have been a really good day. That idea turned

itself around rather quickly when I walked into the Director's office and saw the nameplate on his desk: Don Corneo.

* * *

I hate Don Corneo. He kept talking for almost an hour about all of these lame ideas. For

all intents and purposes, I may as well have been a dairy cow in his eyes. Thank

goodness cooler heads prevailed, and Rico presented Don with a set of more

well-rounded ideas. Rico Gunsalvo rocks!

* * *

I barely had time for lunch. I decided to just stop by McDonald's and pick up a salad.

* * *

3 o'clock. Time to commence with the 'next big thing'. You probably think that it's

something unhealthy. Maybe even something fatal or embarrassing. But no. I'm getting

thrills in a way that is a lot safer...potentially.

Of course, knowing my luck, guess who was the first person to find out?

Reno.

He walked through the door while I was looking at the newspaper.

"Hey, Teef!"

"Hey, Reno."

"So, what's the frequency, Kenneth?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing. It's a music joke. What are you obsessing over now?"

I didn't feel like answering him, so I pointed to the television. It was on CNBC, and the

stocks were sliding across the bottom of the screen.

"That's all? Just the stock market?"

"Yes, that's all. My heart's not into anything crazy right now."

I did not make eye contact with him, knowing that I had spoken a lie.

"Oh."

"It is risky, Reno. I've got a share in Mitsubishi. If it tanks tomorrow, I could be out by

as much as $50."

"Wow. Fifty bucks. Like that's a big risk."

"I've got three hundred bucks riding on Shonen Jump."

"Yeah, well, that's a safe bet. The biggest risk you're taking is by not using that money to

bring back those customers you kicked out months ago."

"Business is good. I've attracted new customers."

"Yeah, well, I'm bored. Watching this show makes me sober. Are you coming to my big

party tonight?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"See you there. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

By 4 o'clock, my heart was racing. I was about to attempt something that had a high

chance of not working out. Still, I felt like I had to try.

I had driven to Barret's house, and was ringing the doorbell when I started to sweat a bit.

"Oh, it's you, Tifa."

"Yes, it's me. Barret, can I come inside to talk?"

"Sure. Come in."

Barret welcomed me into his house, and we sat down together on his big red couch.

"Barret, the reason I'm here is because I know how much of a sacrifice you've made for

your kids."

"Yes, and..."

"And I would like to help you take care of Marlene and Denzel again."

"No."

"Please, Barret! They'll help me get my life back in shape. Besides, they're a bit older

now. Marlene's starting middle school, and Denzel's starting high school."

"All the more reason that they can take care of themselves now."

"Please...please."

"You do love 'em, don't you? Well...Marlene! Denzel! Come in here! We've got a friend

over!"

When Marlene entered the room, she appeared much more grown-up and womanly than I

was used to. Denzel was just taller. He looked basically the same.

The two kids dashed into the room at first, but stopped dead in their tracks when they

saw that I was their guest.

"What's the matter, kids? You do remember me, don't you?"

The shy pair stood still. After a second of awkward silence, Marlene answered, "Yes."

"How do you feel about letting me watch over you guys again?"

Denzel spoke up, "We're older now. We don't need a sitter."

Their eyes betrayed them. It wasn't that they didn't need a sitter. They just didn't want

me to be their sitter. Tears came to my eyes as I asked, "But wouldn't it be cool to just

hang out again?"

Marlene spoke again. It was as if they were taking turns speaking. "You're not well."

"Marlene, why do you think that?"

"Just 'cause."

"There must be a reason."

"You do things at work. Very nasty things."

"Who told you that?"

"Daddy says that."

"And what else does Daddy Barret say about me?"

"He says you're out of your mind. He says that you're a danger to be around."

I began to cry as I lashed out at all three of them.

"Marlene, there's something wrong about what you just said."

"What do you mean?"

"That man is not your Daddy."

Marlene started to cry as well, and Denzel escorted her back to her room. Needless to

say, I was also escorted out of the room. It was the second time today that I had a door

slammed in my face.

* * *

No matter. It's no skin off my nose. I had a guest coming at 5, and when I arrived back

at the bar, he was already there. And am I going to tell you who he is? No. I think I'll

leave you hanging.

To be more specific, he was waiting on my bed, totally aware of why I had asked him to

be there. I still thought it odd that he agreed to the meeting, but when he said yes, I

couldn't refuse.

"Gosh, today has been the hardest day of my life."

"Maybe I can make it better."

"You know you can."

"Then come here."

That's all the prodding I needed. I instantly stripped off my shirt and pants and got into the bed with my mysterious guest. When I lifted the covers, I saw that he had already

disrobed as well.

He pulled me on top of him, and I instantly felt his erection against my leg. I can't deny, it felt like heaven. I kissed his lips, and he returned the favor with a dozen tender kisses all across my face. His hands were on my breasts. My hands were running through his hair.

It totally surprised me when he flipped me over and began to place his manhood inside of

me. Like many waves of glorious, unadulterated passion, we rocked back and forth. My

eyes felt as if they would roll back in my head, and I began to sweat like a man under a

100 degree sun.

"Ohh...ohh...yes! Do that again! That's heavenly...ooh!"

He grabbed my butt and used the extra leverage to thrust himself deeper inside of me.

I threw my head back and let out a feminine yell. After another thrust, I felt a rush of hot

liquid run down my leg. It was my own...and his...mixed.

"Oh, wow! That was nice. Yes...well, I have somewhere to go later. I need to finish this

and take a shower."

"Okay. Maybe I could interest you in having another short go at it?"

"Just lay back down."

I was done, but I let him have his fun. I took his still-throbbing erection in my hand and

gave it a good rubdown. It only took him a minute for him to make a mess all over my

sheets. I didn't mind.

I took a quick shower, and when I got out, he was just heading out the door.

"Bye, Tifa!"

"Goodbye to you too, Vincent!"

* * *

I picked up Yuffie at 6. I had a sinister attitude about our whole 'Dinner and a movie'

thing, especially after what I had done with her fiance just minutes before.

"Hey, Tifa. Why are you smiling like that? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Now, where do

you want to go eat?"

"Uncle Paddy's!"

"Uh...are you serious? You want to eat at a small-time fish joint?"

"Of course! I love fish, and the big companies use too much grease."

"Okay. If you say so."

So I took her there. She enjoyed her fish, and later, at the movie theater, she enjoyed her

movie. 'Samurai versus Ninja 2'. It was everything that they say about sequels, meaning

that only someone such as Yuffie would like it.

Still, as the night wore on, and I continued to look at Yuffie and her stupefied stare at the

screen, I began to feel a little bit sorry for her. Truth be told, I was probably the one who

had been played for a quick thrill, not her. I should be the heartbroken one. Still, I

couldn't help feeling a sense of accomplishment at being able to put one over on the little

schemer. Maybe I do have a problem.

I took Yuffie home, and she was very happy about how the night had went. Gosh, she

just has no idea. As she left the car, I asked her, "Do you remember that secret I was mentioning?"

"Yeah!"

"When the new DVD comes out, buy it."

"Oh...okay. You know, I bought that new one by Silent Springs."

"You serious? She's the one I got traded for. Maybe you could let me see it some time."

"Sure, I will."

"Do you know what's funny, Yuffie?"

"What?"

"Is the fact that you actually watch those things. I had no idea that's what you do with

your spare time."

"It's less so, now that I've got Vinnie. He's amazing, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Hey, I have another secret for you."

"Really?"

"Yes. Just ask Vincent about it. Bye."

I popped the car into reverse and sped away, praying that she would ask him. I want her

to know what I know. I want him to know that she knows. Gosh, I love this!

* * *

Or maybe not. Okay, so maybe I'm not some heartless fool. By the time 9 o'clock rolls

around and I stumble through Reno's door, the sounds and smells of the party have soften

me. I don't talk to Reno. I don't talk to Rude. I simply make a beeline for the drinks, and I hit them...hard.

Honestly, I don't remember the party. It's not that I forgot. I was never in the party. The

majority of my time in Reno's house was spent in the bathroom. I had already puked

twice when I blacked out.

Perhaps I heard someone enter. Perhaps I heard a gasp. Either way, I woke up with my

head laying on the toilet seat. Most of my puke had missed the toilet and been splattered

all over my clothes. I felt like a Mac truck had just run over me...

...and that's what they call having a good time.

I think I blacked out again, because my next memory is of someone touching my feet.

They must have been dirty, because the person behind me was washing them.

I turned my head around slowly, only to see...

...Cloud.

"Cloud, no."

"You need to get home. I'll take you there."

"No...yes...I don't know."

"How else are you going to get there?"

"Carry me."

"Tifa, I hate to see you like this."

"Cloud, I hate to feel like this."

* * *

I must have blacked out for a third time, because when I woke up this time, my head felt a little better. At least I wouldn't be blacking out anymore. I was laying on my couch, and Cloud was nowhere to be found. The clock on the table in front of me read '12:34'

'Wow. I can still count.'

Unfortunately, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can't get back to sleep. I just

can't. So I turned the light on.

From the instant that I turned the light on, I began to hear a sound. It sounded like

typing...on a typewriter. Someone was typing on my typewriter! But who would be in my house at this hour? I had to see who it was. In retrospect, I should have put my head

back down to rest. But I didn't, and now I've suffered the consequences.

You see, there was an old friend of mine sitting behind the typewriter, just typing away.

She stared at me and smilingly explained, "Hello, Tifa! I heard that you needed help

writing your novel. I'm your muse!"

"...Aeris?!"


	17. A Floral Haunting

Contest!: By the time I complete this chapter, I will have accumulated over 100,000 words on FanFiction. To mark this momentous occasion (momentous in my eyes, anyway.), I'm going to have a little contest. The winner of this contest will receive the following prize: Naming rights to my next chapter, as well as an opening and closing line in the chapter.

That's right! You get to issue me a challenge. The winner will specify what the name of the chapter will be, what the first line will be, and what the last line will be. You have the opportunity to do anything to this plot: Get Cloud and Tifa back together, keep Tifa messing with Vincent, or even develop something between Tifa and Aeris. It's your choice.

However....it's not an easy challenge. You can use a calculator, you can use your word processor's 'word count'...I don't care how you do it, because it's hard enough anyway...

The Challenge Question: What is my 100,000th word? It's in this chapter.

(clue: It's in the scene where )

Chapter 17- A Floral Haunting

(continued from Chapter 16...)

I rubbed my eyes to make sure that all of this was real. Sure enough, it was.

Aeris Gainsborough was sitting at my typewriter. She was in my house...she was living on the earth again.

"God, maybe I did hit the bottle too hard last night."

"No, you didn't. Come touch me."

"No. You don't exist. I'm half-drunk. I'm fixing a sandwich."

"With what bread?"

I walked into the kitchen, and sure enough, I was out of bread.

I slowly turned back around, and she was still there, looking pretty in her pink flowered dress.

"Okay, Aeris...if that's who you really are. Let me tell you something. You are a figment of my imagination."

"Your imagination isn't this pretty."

"You're a ghost."

"Why would I come back? I was happy being in the Lifestream."

"That's exactly right, Aeris. You wouldn't come back. So just crawl back into my head, and we'll pretend this little meeting never happened."

"Crawl back in your head, huh? It would be much easier to crawl into your chest."

It was then that I realized something odd: This Aeris was a lot more snappish and stubborn than the old one. In fact, she reminded me of myself.

"Come on, Tifa. Just touch me."

"And what? Feel the scars?"

"Nope. Wrong story."

Reluctantly, I did as I was told. My hand did not go through her. It simply made contact, poking her in the arm.

"Oh my God, you are real!"

"Kind of. You were wrong earlier. I'm not a figment of your imagination. Oh, I'm in your imagination, but I'm not a figment...I'm a pigment."

"Meaning...what, exactly?"

"I am real. I am here, and you can feel me. To you, it's like I'm living again. The only thing is though, I had to take on your personality, and you're the only one who can see me."

"So let me get this straight. You're a living, breathing, alternate version of me, but you're invisible to others. That makes no sense."

"Yeah, that sounds like Tifa."

I'll admit, that comment put me on edge. I pointed my finger at Aeris at threatened, "If you get an attitude with me, I swear I'll wring your neck. You know I've wanted to do that ever since Cloud fell in love with you."

"...And in the process, you would be killing a part of you. You don't have that many pieces left to kill."

"I...you....we...this just sucks!"

"Tell me about it. But now that I'm here, I need to help you write your novel. How much have you done so far?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Not a word?"

"No. I normally focus on short stories and poems. But why? Why is it your mission to help me with this project?"

"Because I am the 'Ambition and Dreams' portion of your mind."

"Then how did you get here, and what's going to happen if you're not in my mind?"

"Nothing's going to happen. You had that portion partially shut down anyway. That's why I had to get Aeris' help and give you a wake-up call."

"Okay...now I'm really confused. You are Aeris, but you were sent from Aeris?"

"Ask yourself, were there any side effects of the Holy spell? You know, the one that stopped Sephiroth?"

"I don't know. None have really been found."

"There was one. Holy allowed my spirit to have continual contact with my friends, and for a form of myself to be manifested when you really need help."

"Okay. It's getting a bit clearer. So this effect allows you to adapt yourself and show up on earth again. Alright. You know, I think I like you. I like my Aeris with a little attitude. You don't have any addictions, do you?"

"A few. The closest addiction center on my side of the brain is the one for 'Minor Permanent Addictions'."

"For example...?"

"Basically, I've just inherited your love for stuff like doughnuts and the smell of a spring breeze."

"Doughnuts, huh? Well, you can pig out all you want. You can hold the extra pounds for me."

"You can't feel what I feel now."

"Oh."

"Yeah, Teef. We're two separate bodies now."

"How can I get you to go away?"

"You don't...until my mission is completed."

"Then let's get started."

"Alright. First, what genre is this book going to be?"

"Hmm. I like abstract mysteries."

"Good. I like those too."

"'Cause you're a part of me."

"Actually..."

"Fine, enough with details. Anyway, I..."

Aeris interrupted, "No. Details are important. You need to remember who I am."

Tifa sat down on her couch and commented as she turned on the TV to ESPN, "I know exactly who you are."

"Okay, who do you think I am?"

From the TV screen, former football coach Dennis Green replied, "They are what we thought they were, and we let 'em off the hook!"

"Uh...Aeris, that was freaky. Did you do that?"

"No, Tifa. You did."

"With my mind?"

"No, with the TV changer. Now turn it off and let's talk about your novel."

"Fine."

"Any ideas?"

"How about we have a hero."

"Yeah, that's an original idea."

"Are you making fun of me?!"

"No. I would never do such a thing. I'm just good-natured Aeris."

"Sure. Anyway, the hero is a guy...a guy named Ponze."

"Good. Continue."

"He has a wife. Her name is Vernita."

"Tifa, is this supposed to be a book for African-Americans?"

"No, I just like the names."

"...because I hate how libraries will put stickers on books that say 'African-American', like it somehow demeans the value of the book. That's racist!"

"Maybe they do it because the African Americans are the ones that want to read that genre. So it's not to hurt them, it's to help them find what they want to read."

"That's really closed minded. In fact...hey! Yeah, Vernita can be partially closed minded!"

"Cool, like through some kind of head trauma."

"Yeah, you've got it. Let's keep bouncing ideas, Tifa."

"Okay. So there's this other guy. His name's Colon."

"He's Spanish?"

"No, he's white."

"White people don't have names like Colon."

"Well, they do in my story. Gosh. I didn't know you could be so racist!"

"I think you should have said 'I didn't know **I **could be so racist'. And you're not racist, because you're friends with Barret."

"And don't forget Cid."

"But he's not...whatever. What about Colon?"

"Colon is...a hairdresser."

"A male hairdresser? So that means he's a...."

"No, Aeris! Don't type that! He's into Vernita. He likes her a lot, but doesn't really know her."

"Like she's just one of the clients, or something."

"Good idea. Anyway, Colon tries to hatch some kind of plan to get Vernita to like him, but he finds out that Vernita is married. Then it shifts to the crime scene..."

"And Ponze is dead?"

"Nope. This is where it gets good. Vernita is dead, as well as another man who hasn't yet been mentioned in the story."

"Wow, Tifa! Creepy! Continue."

"Okay. Ooh...the murder weapon...and you're gonna love this!....is a banana that was rigged to act like a gun!"

"Dang! I like it!"

"And...yeah, I can feel it all coming to me. The mystery victim is Franciscadorian."

"Is that a religion?"

"No, it's a name."

"Okay. What's special about Francisco?"

"He's Colon's long lost father. Colon never knew him."

"So the guy just happens to be in town for once in his life, and he never gets to leave it. Weird."

"Okay. I'm just gearing up, don't worry. Anyway, for some odd reason, Ponze doesn't seem to be showing a lot of emotion. His whole demeanor is off, and the police instantly think that he's the killer. Except there's two flaws: Why would he kill his own wife, and how would he even know who Franciscadorian is?"

"Those are all good questions, Tifa. Why would Ponze kill his own wife?"

"He wouldn't."

"Oh. So Colon is the killer?"

"No."

"Oh my God! Vernita's a crazy psycho, and in order to get rid of Colon, she kills his dad and then herself?"

"No. There's no motive for that."

"Okay...I don't want to know that yet. First, why where Francis and Vernita in the same crime scene to begin with?"

"Purely random chance. Neither person knew who the other one was. And the shooting was totally random too. It's just a crazy killer who made this cool new weapon, and wanted to try it out on two unsuspecting victims."

"You have to tell me, Tifa...who's the killer?"

"You won't know until we get to the end."

"Aw, come on! You have to tell me!"

"No. It's a surprise."

"Fine. So we have an outline. That's good enough for now. But I have a different question. What's going on with you and Vincent?"

"You know about that?"

"Yeah. My portion of the brain contains a lot of memories, but not so much in the present. Why are you doing this to Yuffie?"

"Because she's supremely annoying, she rejected my love, and her fiance is spicy hot."

"Oh...I guess those are valid reasons."

"They sure are."

"Yeah. I'm bored."

"Manifestations get bored?"

"Sometimes."

"Let's get something to eat at the Waffle Shop. They're open all night. We can talk there."

"No, we can't. No one else can see me. You'd look like you're talking to yourself."

"Oh. Well, let's go somewhere that has a drive thru."

"Where?"

"Let's go to Taco Hell."

"Fine by me."


	18. Taco Transit Authority

Note: I'm sorry about the last contest question. It turns out that I actually came up a bit short of 100,000 words after the last chapter. So, I have a new contest question. The prize is the same: Naming rights to the upcoming chapter, as well as first and last lines.

**Contest: **One of Tifa Lockheart's first cameo appearances in games other than Final Fantasy occurred in another RPG created by Tetsura Nomura. There is an area on that game in which the image of Tifa can be seen on a poster. So the question is:

On which Nomura RPG did Tifa Lockheart make a cameo appearance? (Hint: Use Wikipedia.)

**Chapter 18- Taco Transit Authority**

Driving Smooth With A Ghost Riding Shotgun- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Not as clear as you used to be,  
your pink has faded slightly.  
Your flowers always did  
smell like flowers.  
I don't know  
how you did it.

I don't want one,  
I don't need one,  
and it's so ironic  
that you don't even try.  
No longer selling…  
because of me.

You should want  
to crush me like  
I crushed your roses,  
but the roses are  
in your eyes…  
tender Aerith.

* * *

….Sitting in my Corolla at a Taco Hell parking lot: 2:00 a.m.  
I never saw this one coming.

"Aeris, do you think I'm a whore?"

"No. It's not like you sell your body for…  
wait, no. Uh…maybe?"

"It's a tricky line to cross. I mean, I am letting other people handle my body, and I do get a profit from it."

"So you do think that you're a whore."

"No, I don't. I feel like I'm a legitimate actress. Aeris, if you only knew what it's like to bare everything in front of the camera. I feel so special!"

"What about the scenes themselves…with the guys?"

"They're the best. The male actors are such hotties!"

"But don't you feel violated?"

I sighed and replied, "The only thing I feel is loneliness. Men love looking at me, but I don't think they take me seriously."

"Cloud takes you seriously."

"Hah! I won't even consider it."

"So you're holding a grudge. Maybe that's part of problem."

"Hey, wouldn't you? After what he did, trying to reconnect is a slap in my face. Does he think I'm stupid?! Does he actually expect me to forget?"

"No. He doesn't expect you to do that. He's always wanted forgiveness…for everything."

"If Cloud's changed, then I'm just going to need a lot of time to get to the point where I don't want to kill him. I think I'll need about…oh, a couple of decades."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way. You know you want him. You need him."

I rolled my eyes and my driver's side window down simultaneously. I stuck my arm out of the window and let it hang out in the cool night air.

"Aeris, do you still have your own memories?"

"I do."

"What's your saddest moment?"

"My saddest moment is when I was 18. I was standing on a Midgar street corner, trying to sell flowers to a crowd of passing strangers that don't give me even a passing glance. So many times, I cried at night after selling absolutely nothing that day. I sucked at sales."

"Well, maybe if you showed some leg…"

"No, I'll pass."

"Suit yourself."

* * *

We didn't talk again over the next 5 minutes. Aeris messed with the dials on the radio until she came across one of her favorite songs: 'Gogo' by Wham.

Aeris sang out loud, while I sat still in my seat, enduring my three minutes of 80's pop torture.

When the song ended, Aeris turned to look at me, asking, "Tifa, how do you feel right now?"

"I feel like I'm all screwed up. I love my job, but I have no love life, and my mind runs to so many different habits. They don't have a rehab for someone like me."

"Maybe they do. But when you say that you have no love life, I guess Vincent doesn't count."

"Not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Check my phone messages. Play 'em loud."

Aeris took my phone and began flipping through my calls for the previous day.

"Hey, this is your stock broker, Tim. Your purchase of ten shares in Mitsubishi for 5000 gil has been approved."

Aeris looked shocked, and she interrupted, "5000? Why?! You could've used that money for something better!"

"You're right. Next message."

"Tifa, this is Tim again. I have bad news. Mitsubishi's tanking fast. The final bell just rang, and I hate to say this, but you've lost 2000 gil. I don't usually do this for my clients, but I'm pulling your stocks out. Trust me, it's in your best interests if you spend your money on someone other than a car company. I'll put the remaining 3000 on Shonen Jump. It gained you maybe a couple of bucks today, nothing special."

"Ouch! Well, I guess you're done with that."

"Yeah. I pulled everything out and got my 6500 gil back."

"Good. I guess you don't have anything to obsess over then, do you?"

"You'd be surprised. Don't underestimate me. Play the next message."

"Hello, Tifa. This is your lawyer, Thomas Young. I regret to inform you that Barret Wallace has filed a restraining order on you. It specifies that you cannot have verbal contact or be within 100 feet of either Marlene or Denzel."

"Oh my God! Tifa, what did you do?!"

I flashed a hellish smile and admitted, "I told Marlene an inconvenient truth. There's one more message left."

"Alright. This one's from Yuffie."

"Great. Let's hear it."

"…Tifa, I hate you! How could you sleep with Vincent!? I'll have you know, Vincent's already confessed and apologized. I love Vince, and you need to keep your greedy paws off of my fiancé!"

"That was it? Wow."

"Now how does that make you feel, Tifa?"

"It feels like I'm living. Man, I'm hungry! What do you want to eat?"

"I'll have a spicy chipotle burrito, and cinnamon twists. What are you getting?"

"I'll have a cheesy gordita crunch."

I pulled the car in gear and went through the drive-thru. After the order was placed and we received our food, I paid the cashier and parked the car again.

"You know, Aeris, I think I actually do like hanging out with Yuffie. Uncle Paddy's fish place was really good."

"I hope you haven't totally destroyed your relationship."

"I hope so too. Now that I've asserted my dominance in her life, and taken my rightful role as head lioness, maybe the plains will quiet down tonight."

"So that's what this is about? Power?"

"Always. It's the second best feeling in the world, after love."

"I see."

We unwrapped our food, and in between bites, I asked Aeris,

"You like talking about feelings, don't you?"

"I do."

"I feel like I'm at a lost and found, needing to be claimed."

"…You need love."

"Yes. I want some crazy stranger to come and sweep me off my feet. I want to be forced.

Aeris, I know this will sound so bad, but would you rape me, please?"

"That's creepy…and impossible."

"Why?"

"Because it's not rape if you want it. Why do you want it so bad?"

Between the content of our discussion and the taste of the food, I was getting a bit hyper. My fingernails tapped against the car door.

"Aeris, I don't want to be in control of my love anymore. Love has always been on my own terms. I just need to experience something bigger than what I want."

"So, you want control in real life and total chaos in your sex life? That's dangerous. But that statement was deep. Or shallow. I don't know which. Did Cloud really make you this confused?"

"Maybe not. Perhaps I've always been fragile."

"You know, Tifa, that wasn't all of your phone messages."

"Are you serious?"

"I am. You have a text message from Cloud.

It says:

'I'm sorry for everything. I want to start over. I love you again, but if you won't let me in, then I'm going to have to go on another training trip with Vincent. We're just on break, and we have to go back tomorrow if we don't have a good reason to stay. Rufus said so. We'll be gone for a long time, with few breaks. So, will you give me something to stay for?

Check yes or no?'

I sent back a simple text: 'No'.

"Tifa, he's different. He's in love with you again."

"Yeah, and I'm sure he has grand plans about having another romantic wedding, and having a bigger house, and kids…oh, that's right! He's the reason that I can't have kids!

Cloud wants 'Forever'. I can only give him 'sometimes'.

I mean, let's face it. He may be close to perfect now, but I'm holding hands with heaven while making eyes at hell.

Oh well. Buckle up, buttercup. We're moving out."

"Where are we going?"

"Convenience store."

* * *

The convenience store was bigger than I expected. I was walking down the aisles when Aeris mentioned,

"I wonder who took care of the bar tonight."

"Well, it certainly wasn't us. It wasn't Barret. Yuffie would have been too distraught about Vince."

"That leaves only one person."

"You know who it was, don't you?"

"I think it was Cloud, but I'm not entirely sure. He's the only name I can come up with."

"Seriously? So he helped me at the party, drove me home, and manned the bar?"

"It makes you like him again, doesn't it?"

"No, but I'll give him a call."

I called the spiky-headed lovebird, but he must have tried to catch some late Z's. His cell phone was turned off.

"Oh well. I'll catch him in the morning."

"He's leaving in the morning. Besides, as little sleep as you've gotten tonight, you'll probably snooze until after lunchtime."

"Yeah, I know."

"Okay. So, what are you buying?"

I could feel Aeris' vibe of disapproval as I strolled to the cashier and paid for a lighter and a pack of cigarettes.

When we made it back outside, I asked Aeris,  
"Do you want to light up?"

"Of course not! It's like sucking a chimney."

"Fine. I haven't had one in years. Actually, I've been nicotine free since the day when Barret started Avalanche."

"That's a long time. Why start now?"

"Because I can."

"Yeah…I'm thirsty."

"Then grab a nipple.", I joked. It was the only time all day that I had laughed.

"That's gross, Tifa! Not to mention, it's demeaning to women."

"Are you feminist?"

"Yes, I am."

"So you probably think my job is demeaning, too."

"Yes."

"There's a problem with your theory. No one put a gun to my head and made me be a porn star. I wanted to."

"Yes, but that's because you enjoy demeaning yourself."

"This is true."

As I lit a cigarette and put it up to my mouth, I began to sing out of the corner of my mouth.

"People try to put us down…"

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Because…I sang a line, and you finish."

"I don't know that line."

"Oh. Okay. Here's some gil. Go buy yourself a soda."

"Thanks."

When Aeris had disappeared back into the store, I whispered,

"…talkin' 'bout my generation."

Aeris quickly returned with a cappuccino in her hand.

"Coffee?"

"Of course. You have your cigs, and I have my caffeine."

"I see."

"So, we're going home, right?"

"Wrong. We're going to Yuffie's."

"Aren't you tired?"

"No. I'm still going strong. I did have a little bit of sleep already, you know."

"Oh. Will you please tell me how your book ends?"

"Only if you take a puff."

"Tifa, no."

"Okay. Let it be."

After 5 minutes of cold and silence, Aeris finally gave in.

"Fine. Gosh, you're such a…a…"

"A what? Come on, Aeris. Say it. Go ahead. I won't mind."

"You're a tease!"

"Oh. I thought you were going to say a different word. But no ending until you puff!"

"Okay! Give it to me!"

I watched in amusement as Aeris put the cigarette up to her mouth and took a puff. She couldn't handle it, and she instantly started coughing.

"I don't…*cough*…see why people…*cough*…like those things."

"They're cancer-sticks. People love to die."

"Do you love to die?"

"Most def."

"Please promise me that suicide's not an option."

"I don't make promises anymore."

"Gosh, you're a handful. Anyway, tell me who the killer is. It isn't any of the three main characters, so who could it be?"

"It's me."

"That figures. I'm tired. Can we go home?"

"No. Get in the car."

I snuffed out my cigarette, and as Aeris passed by, I reached out and grabbed a handful of her butt.

"Hey! What was that about?"

"Now who's a handful? I always wanted to grab your butt."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Aeris, you can sense things about an area, right?"

"Sure. If there's enough energy, I can see the recent past."

"So maybe if Yuffie's asleep, you can just get a reading from standing outside her window?"

"Yes, but why do you care? You love her still, don't you?"

"No…maybe."

"You slept with Vinnie because you didn't want him to come between you and Yuffie!"

"Alright, yes! That's my reason!"

"You little lesbian!"

"Got you."

"Wait…what do you mean?"

"I got you. I made you fall for it. Yuffie was just a phase for me. We're through."

"Then why are you going to her house this early in the morning?"

"Because you can tell me how mad she is. I've been itching for a cat fight."

"Well, you might get one. If I read the energy from the air, it'll take a lot of my own energy. It's a good thing you let me get that cappuccino, or else I might not have been awake enough to do it."

"Good."

* * *

I left the car running in Yuffie's driveway as Aeris prayed underneath her window.

When she came back to the car, Aeris relayed the message.

"There was an argument. It felt like Yuffie was the one who was more upset. There was some talk about you and Vince's affair, but they fought pretty hard about leaving tomorrow. She had no idea."

"Hmm. The little dunce thought that he was here to stay."

"Yes. She cried, a lot. I think she blames you, because Vince would have stayed if Cloud did."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So, are we going home?"

"Sure, just a minute. Let me send Cloud a message."

I sent him a text:

'I've changed my mind. I say yes. Please read this! God, I hope you get this.'

When I had finished, I looked over at Aeris. She was nodding off to sleep.

"Aeris…"

"Hmm…oh, what? Did I drift off?"

"For a second. But I know what will wake you up."

I popped a disk into the CD player and pushed play. The comedic words blasted through the speakers:

'Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop...you know the place...Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy...except of course for the undeniable fact that every single morning my  
mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast.'

I guess Aeris had heard it before too, because we started spouting our favorite lines.

"I love my snorkel! It's been like a snorkel to me!"

"I hate it when I'm right!"

"Haha! I love Weird Al!"

"I know! At least there's some form of laughter in our lives."

"Yeah, for at least ten minutes."

* * *

When we got back home, Aeris went to sleep.

I stayed up, reading my latest text from Cloud.

Apparently, he couldn't sleep either.

'Tifa, I'm glad you changed your mind. I would drop my traveling bags in a heartbeat for you, but…

I can't.

Rufus called and changed the deal. He won't let us stay. Vince and I do not have a choice.

You can come with me! I'll wait for you to pack if you want to come.'

I sent him an MP3 message:

'I would do anything for love, but I won't do that'.

I am feeling closer to him, but I can't move right now. What I can do is cry…and mope…and call an old friend. Desperate love calls for desperate measures.

"Hey, Christine."

"Hey, Tifa. What do you need?"

"I'll take you up on your offer. Will you teach me how?"

"Sure. I'd be glad to. Here's the best way to do it.

Obviously, you need a razor blade. The best place is on the underside of the wrist. Don't hit the vein, unless you're really feeling down. And remember, always cut upwards. Don't cut down. And that's it. That's the world of cutting, in a nutshell."

"Thanks, Chris."

"Are you really going through with this?"

"Yes, I think I am."

* * *

So that's my plan. I don't want to end my life. I just want to know what all the hype is about. All of these millions of people must be onto something.

They don't do it for nothing.

* * *

Or at least, that's what I thought my plan was. My mind was seemingly made up, until I saw a note on the bar. There was no way I could have read that note and not feel something.

It read:

'I'm sorry to see you this way. I know that what Barret did was for the best, but I couldn't help myself. I had to help you out, so I took care of the bar tonight.

I wish that you were back to being your normal self, so that we could hang out again.

Love,

Denzel'


	19. Scent of Prestige

Note: Congratulations to the winner of the Ch. 18 Contest Question: Ringbearingreasergal!

For everyone else out there that participated, thank you.

The correct answer was: Xenogears. (Yes, it actually was a Nomura game.)

The winner of the contest question for this chapter will choose the outcome of the battle at the end of the chapter. (It will be continued in Chapter 20, but you can choose the winner!)

Contest Question: What was the name of Pink Floyd's first album?

(All lyrics are property of Pink Floyd, the Columbia, Capitol, and EMI record labels, and their original writers: David Gilmour, Roger Waters, and Richard Wright)

(R.I.P.: Richard Wright and Syd Barret. In our hearts in minds forever.)

**Chapter 19- The Scent Of Prestige**

Snatched From Heaven- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

I was present at my birth,  
sitting in a chair  
in the corner, and  
drinking an appletini.

I could only watch. I had  
no regrets about  
ever being born.  
I watch my mother closely.

I get my thrills from watching  
her sweat, hearing her  
cry out, feeling her  
pain. It is the whole world's pain.

While I escaped from my dome  
of skin, my old soul  
fades. She was nervous,  
and started chewing ice cubes.

______________________________________________________

You'd think it would take me less time to realize that I could virtually solve life and its problems by being hideously rich. They're right you know; money can't really buy happiness.

However, it can be a great distraction.

Upon completing my first Shocker Productions film, 'Knights in White Satin', I was informed that I was the highest selling lady of the month. It didn't really surprise me. My rival, Tina Farthing, was still working on her supposed masterpiece, 'Farther Than Before'. (Don't ask.)

My first paycheck for the month totaled 4,000 gil. When you pile on top of that the profits from Seventh Heaven Bar, then it could be said that I'm making a substantial amount of money. It wasn't enough of a salary to make me super rich anytime soon, but it was plenty more than minimum wage. In fact, I was making as much money as a high-profile 'Adult Film' star as I would if I were a Dental Hygienist, or an entry-level Lawyer.

Still, there was always a cloud over everyone's head at Shocker Productions:

Each girl's salary varies depending on their sales. If Don and Rico signed a new eye-catching hottie, it could very easily tear a hole in my paycheck.

As of right now, though, I was spending a fairly good bit. Actually, I may have been throwing away a lot of money, but it was only on 2 items: An HP laptop computer, and a brand new white Honda Civic.  
I liked my old Toyota Corolla, and it never gave me a bit of trouble, but it was exactly that: old.  
It was almost August 2001, and my Corolla was a '91. It needed to be junked. I had driven it for so long that it was actually the only car I had ever driven in my entire young adult life.

____________________________________________________

7/30/01

Dear Diary,

I decided to apply Christine's knowledge today. I was feeling exceptionally down, so I took a knife with me into the bathroom.

I wanted to experience what Chris felt, all of those times that she had sought pleasure from what I was about to partake in. I was sure it would be a very delightful experience.

With my face to the mirror, I took the knive and held it close to my arm.

This was going to be heaven. I was determined to make it so. The scarlet blood would trickle down, cleansing me of everything that was so wrong with me.  
Are you washed in the blood?

So I did it.

I took the knife and sliced my wrist upwards.  
As the blood trickled down, there was only one glorious exultation for me to utter:

"Owww! Aw crap! That hurts! How can someone do this?!"

I felt nothing special, nothing superbly divine.  
All I knew was that it hurt too much for me to commit to this. I swear that I'm never doing this again, and I swear, I don't understand why people enjoy this so much.

____________________________________________________

8/1/01

Dear Diary,

Aeris is missing. She wasn't here at the bar when I woke up, and there is no note on the table. I cannot ask around, because she no longer exists. I suppose that I will have to wait for her.

Wait...

...never mind. There are 2 voice mails.

________________________________________________________

First message: "Hey, Tifa. This is Aeris. I'm calling to tell you that I'll be out on the town all day long. I haven't been home in forever. I felt sad after our conversation last night, so I'm going to get you a date for tonight.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm not the only transplanted soul in this universe that you can see and have contact with. There are many others, since I let them through 'The Gate'. It's alright. The others should be harmless.  
So if you're listening, you need to get a headstart on freshening up. We're coming to pick you up at 1 P.M."

Tifa turned around to see the clock on the wall behind her, which read, '10 A.M.'

"You're going to love this guy. He's totally different from what he used to be, trust me. I have a feeling that he'll like you, too."

Second Message: "This is Rico Gunsalvo. When you come to work tomorrow, we will look through the script of the new film you'll be working on. It's less of a smut-fest and more line an actual movie. It's going to be called 'Mountain Rose'.  
It's too complicated to explain now, but it'll be epic!  
It's going to be a full-length feature film, except that it's too risque for theaters.  
I swear, you will make a killing off the straight-to-DVD sales alone.

Oh...and Tina's going to be in it too. Bye."

__________________________________________________

It took me all morning to get ready for my first real date A.C. (After Cloud).  
I showered, shaved my legs, and picked out my clothes.  
I decided to wear my sparkling blue dress.  
It clung tightly to my body, and was very short.

It was so short, in fact, that even the slightest act of bending over would reveal my underwear, as well as most of my cleavage.  
The V-Neck, coupled with my lacy blue push-up bra, worked together in a concerted effort to pop my chest clear out of the top of the dress.

Everything was staying hidden for the time being, but I was already determined to bend all the way down to the floor if I had some alone time with my date over the course of the night.

...Which leads me to my burning question:

If I have such a steamy work environment, then why do I feel the itch for something real when I get home?  
I should feel oversexed, so why do I feel like I'm not getting any?"

_______________________________________________________

What Have I Done?!- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Top of the morning,  
drop of the wave.  
Tip of the finger,  
lip of the cave.

Jolting my spine,  
bolting the door.  
Cry for diffusion,  
lie on the floor.

Harder and faster,  
martyr the dove.  
Folds of forever,  
hold on, my love.

Rock like a baby,  
socks on my feet.  
Phone home, Tifa.  
Moan to the beat.

Ringing the doorbell,  
singing 'I'm busy.'  
Humming, 'He isn't  
coming in, is he?'

Clean snow-white dress shirt.  
Reno appears.  
Jerk looks around,  
smirk to his ears.

I live, holding on.  
I give the invite.  
Sun in the window,  
fun in the light.

Throw me backwards,  
show me, you doll.  
Red-headed wonder,  
led through the hall.

Cuffed to the headboard,  
stuffed to the gills  
with Reno inside,  
stiff as the hills.

Clear trickle down,  
gear shifting slow.  
Tender blue eyes  
vendor the flow.

Zip up the pants.  
Lips, minor/major,  
land against fabric.  
Hand rolls dice/wager.

Kiss on the cheek,  
bliss at no cost.  
Call me your friend,  
all hatred is lost.

Careless daydream,  
fairness the same.  
Staying with eyes closed,  
Playing the game.

Flutter the eyelids,  
stutter your name.  
Keeping blind: stupid!  
Sleeping with the dame.

Not Reno at all,  
hot beads of sweat.  
I sense trouble if  
I haven't seen yet.

Grown up, eighteen,  
thrown through the thistle.  
Fat chance at escape.  
That man was Denzel!

__________________________________________________

'ding-ding-ding!'

Someone's coming into the bar.  
Oh, great. It's Reno.

"Hey, Tifa! Give me something light."

"Sure. How about a marble mocha?"

"Coffee, eh? Alright. Here's a ten. Pour yourself a cup."

"I'm the owner. I don't have to have someone pay for me."

"Suit yourself. Keep the change."

As I was pouring Reno's drink, he exclaimed, "You look pretty rough, but excited. Or maybe fearful? I saw Denzel looking the same way when he was coming out. In fact, he had the same flustered look that I get when I've been to the club."

Reno smiled as it all began to click into place.

"You did it with Denzel?! That lucky dog!"

"You pervert! How could you say that?"

"It's like every man's fantasy: The student has become the teacher. The child has mastered his nurse."

"Reno, that's gross."

When I gave the mocha to Reno and poured my own, he lifted his glass in the air and said,

"A toast to Tifa Lockheart, playmate of the month!"

"Wrong company."

"You might as well be. You look good enough."

Reno stood up and walked to the jukebox. Apparently, music was our only bond.

He put a gil coin in the machine and selected Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon CD. The song was 'Money'.

"This is for you, Tifa."

'_Money, get back  
I'm alright, Jack, keep your hands off my stack  
money, it's a hit  
don't give me that do goody good bull****'_

After the song finished, Reno turned to ask me,

"How did you let Denzel do that to you?"

"I was...uh..."

"Pleasuring yourself?"

"Yes. Denzel came in, and I guess he needed to use the bathroom, and I kept my eyes closed. I didn't know it was him."

"Well, that's what you get when you lay around on the floor of the men's bathroom. Why would you close your eyes without knowing who it was?"

"Because I thought it was you."

Reno laughed for a while until he admitted,  
"Oh, you were serious? I can still make good on that fantasy."

"No, my mind is tainted now."

"You'll come around. I take it that you don't want Denzel's love."

"No, I don't. I took care of him when he was a teenager. This isn't right!"

"You're right. What Denzel did was definitely forceful. Why don't you report him?"

I placed a coin in the jukebox and let Pink Floyd explain my thoughts.

'_When I was a child  
I caught a fleeting glimpse  
Out of the corner of my eye  
I turned to look but it was gone  
I cannot put my finger on it now  
The child is grown  
The dream is gone  
And I have become comfortably numb'_

"Tifa, just so you know, Rude was the one that wrote up the restraining order between you and Denzel. I know why Barret requested it."

"He thinks I'm psycho."

"Wrong."

"What?"

"You're wrong. Denzel's eighteen. He can do whatever he wants. There's a greater reason."

"Like what?"

"According to Barret, the kid owns every film you've ever made. He has a freakin' shrine devoted to you in his closet. Apparently, Barret thinks Denzel's nuts over you. After today, I'd say he's right."

"Before today, Reno, I probably would have taken some sick pleasure in being forced."

"That's deep."

"Yeah, but I was wrong. I guess I had a subconscious list of people in my head that I would want to experience that with. Denzel's not on that list."

"Who is?"

"Vincent...Sephiroth...You."

"Wow. I'm on the list? Cool. But Sephiroth? You're just hoping."

"I know. It's a stretch."

"Especially since he's dead."

Before the words left his lips, Aeris came into the bar with my date for the afternoon:

Sephiroth.

"Did I hear my name mentioned?"

"Maybe."

Reno squinted in confusion and asked, "Tifa, who are you talking to? It's just us here."

"Oh...no, I was just thinking out loud."

"Sure. Well, I'll see myself out."

"Okay, Reno. Bye."

"Bye. And do something about Denzel. If you don't, I will."

After Reno had left, Aeris asked, "What happened with Denzel?"

"I think he has a bit of a crush on me."

"I'm not surprised. You've been like a mentor to him. Is that all?"

"Yes, that's all."

"Good. Then I'll stay here while you two go out."

I stared at Sephiroth for what seemed like forever. He looked the same, but it was the subtle differences, such as his posture, eyes, and smile that indicated something I had been longing to see:

Sephiroth had become a nice guy; the perfect gentleman.

I could only imagine whose personality he adapted.

"Sephiroth! I thought you were dead!"

His silver hair almost melted me down to the floor right there as he said, "I was dead. Now I live, and there is a mission to complete."

"What mission would that be?"

"To help you find true love."

I turned to Aeris and admitted, "That was sappy. Gosh, he inherited your personality, didn't he?"

"That's right. He's not into flowers, but I imparted my friendliness unto him."

"Great. Just great."

"You're being sarcastic, aren't you?"

"Yes. Very much so."

"Don't you want a nice guy?"

"I don't know. We'll see how it goes."

I asked Sephiroth, "Where are you taking me, Seph?"

"Laser tag."

"Really? That's odd. But I'm not dressed for the occasion."

"Oh...the dress. Then we'll eat lunch first, so you can enjoy your dress for a while. Take a change of clothes with you."

"Just for Laser Tag?"

"No. Not just that."

Aeris piped up, "You two have fun!"

Sephiroth was the one who answered, "We will."

___________________________________________________________

"Tifa, where do you want to eat?"

"Let's go to Larry's Diner."

"Alright. If that's what you want."

In keeping with my usual streak of luck, temptation would be thrust straight into my face from the moment I got out of the car.

On the entrance to Larry's Diner was an advertisement for an eating contest:

$1,000, a brand new flat screen TV, and a brand new PS3 for the person who could eat the most boneless chicken wings in ten minutes.

"Hey, Tifa, you should enter that. I think you could win."

"But I need to keep my figure! I'm going back in to work tomorrow. You could enter."

Sephiroth winked at me and replied, "I'll do it."

That's right: he winked. How corny could this new Sephiroth get?

I was beginning to understand how much of an airhead Cloud had to be in order to fall in love with Aeris.

When we entered the Diner, Sephiroth signed up for the contest and took his place at the eater's table.

The owner of the store gave the highly original call of 'Ready...Set...Go!', and the eaters were off.

"Let's go, Sephiroth! You can do it! Win me that PlayStation!"

Sephiroth was into the chicken, hard. He was popping wing after wing into his mouth, far ahead of the competition.

After ten minutes time, it was clear that Sephiroth had won.

"Good work, Sephy!"

As I looked around at the crowd, I realized that something wasn't right here. Half of the crowd was looking at me as if I was crazy. The other half was staring at the contestants table in shock.

It was then that I understood what the other people must be seeing:

Dozens of boneless chicken wings being completely devoured by a ghost.

Needless to say, Sephiroth and I jetted out of that place in a hurry. It was a good thing that I ate before the contest started.

"Sephiroth!!! What did you think you were doing?! Don't you know you're invisible to other people?"

"I'm sorry. I forgot. You forgot too."

"I know. But you really packed away that chicken! You must be stuffed."

"Yes, I am."

"Maybe I should drive."

As we backed out of the parking lot, Sephiroth asked me, "So, what do you think is the worst that could happen from this?"

"Oh, nothing really. There will probably be a big ghost story in the newspaper. Actually, we'll probably become national celebrities."

"That's good."

"So where are we going next?"

"We can't, remember? I'm invisible."

"That sucks."

"Besides, I need to get back to the bar, because I feel like I'm about to throw up."

"You know, I hate to say this because it's better than the alternative, but the nice version of you is such a wuss."

"You don't like that?"

"Not in the least."

"So I disappoint you."

"Maybe...yes, a little."

"I'm sorry."

I could see a tear begin to roll down his left eye.

"For God's sake, Sephy! Man up!"

"I thought you'd like me better this way. Trust me, I can be your everything. Besides, you haven't even seen me in action."

"Not today. Give me some time to think. A lot of time."

"I will wait for you."

"If you're going to be like Aeris, then please, give me a flower next time. And bring the sword too. It completes you."

_______________________________________________________________

I arrived at the Seventh Heaven Bar at 3 P.M. The bar was usually bone dry until nighttime, but I at least thought that Aeris would be in the front to welcome me when I got home.

I suppose she was in her room. Not that it's hers or anything. It's just a converted supply closet. I never used that closet for anything special, and it was big enough to house a bed and some shelves. I usually had Aeris keep the door shut and stay either completely in or out when guests arrived, so that they wouldn't suspect anything or hear doors closing randomly.

Sephiroth headed to the bathroom to go puke or whatever he needed to do. At least when he was finished, he could take the back door out. He was staying in the old Wesley factory at the end of the road. Nobody ever went there, and it was safe because it was a community landmark.

There was one person waiting for me when I arrived, and she was highly pissed off:

Yuffie Kisaragi.

"Why, Tifa? Why did you sleep with my fiance?"

"He slept with me too, you know. A lady's privates are a two-way street."

"Tifa, I hate you! Now Vincent is gone again, and it's all your fault!"

"Uh...no, he would have had to leave anyway."

The young ninja's face was tomato red with anger, and her hands were balled up into fists, shifting dangerously close to her side pocket of kunai knives.

"Yuffie, you don't want to do that. Trust me."

"Why not? You took something of mine. Why shouldn't I take something of yours?"

"Because you can't defeat me."

"How long has it been since you last fought?"

"Uh...."

"Exactly. I spar almost every day. Let's see what you've got."

Yuffie tossed one of her Kunai knives at me. It sliced through my dress, pinning me to the wall.

When she saw that I was pinned, Yuffie approached me and gave me a series of strong jabs, right on my mouth.

"You're helpless now, Tifa. You're pinned. Now stay still while I beat the living snot out of you, filthy whore!"

She gave me another fierce punch to the face, and the Kunai became dislodged from the wall. I fell to the floor, but when I got back up, I replied,

"Is that it?"

I panted heavily, a demented giggle bubbling up from the blood in my mouth.

"You think that's all I've got?"

At that moment, I was karma, so I stood up and lunged.

_To be continued..._

(Remember, get the question right, and you can determine the outcome of the fight.

Once again, the question is:

What was the name of Pink Floyd's first album?


	20. The Week From Heck

Note: It's been 2 weeks since I last posted, but that's because I was planning a SuperChapter for you guys and gals out there. Hope you like it. Congratulations to Cloudlover2989 for correctly answering the quiz question for the last chapter. The answer is: 'Piper at the Gates of Dawn'. Congratulations also to the following fans who answered correctly, but just a bit too late to win: 'Gunner Fraley' and 'Prisonerksc2-303'. Either way, you still get what you want, since you're all voting for Tifa to win.

To Ringbearingreasergal: I finished 'American Gods'. It was absolutely wonderful, and I'm glad you suggested it to me. Mr. Wednesday is so like Barney from How I Met Your Mother, or maybe Reno from FF7.

In your last message you said that you were reading 'Year of Endless Sorrows'. How has my suggestion been for you? I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed 'American Gods'. (I didn't know this until after I'd suggested it to you, but the author, Adam Rapp, has also directed the film 'Winter Passing' with Zooey Deschanel and Will Ferrell, written scripts for the TV series 'The L Word', and is a member of a band called 'Less The Band'.

**Chapter 20 Quiz Question: **What is the name of the airship in the game 'Chrono Trigger'? (Hint: the answer to the question is mentioned several times in this chapter.)

**Chapter 20 Quiz Reward: **What do you want Tifa to do with Blackbird? (You'll understand when you read this chapter.)

Chapter 20- The Week From Heck

(Monday)

From the diary of Tifa Lockheart, Sep. 8, 2001:

...And I lunged straight at Yuffie, intending to pin her to the floor. I must have calculated wrong, because Yuffie sidestepped the attack and grabbed me by my breasts.

She twisted them until I cried out in pain, and then Yuffie gave me a push.

As I stumbled backwards, Yuffie kicked me in the groin. The force of the kick almost brought me to tears. To add insult to injury, she lifted up my face with her left index finger and exclaimed, "Vincent is mine, and I am his! Keep your grubby paws off of him!" Yuffie ended her statement with a fierce slap that landed across my left cheek, leaving a red handprint on my face.

Now, if Yuffie had done the smart thing and delivered a final knockout blow, then I would have been out for the count. Lucky for me, that's not what happened. She did the worst thing you can do in a fight:

Turn your back and walk away.

Honestly, did she think that I would stay down after a simple boob grab, groin kick, and face slap? Not a chance. So I did the one thing that I knew would humiliate her the most:

I pulled her shorts down, underwear and all.

Yuffie nearly jumped a foot in the air out of shock, allowing me to pull them all the way off and toss them in a corner where she couldn't get to them.

The half-naked ninja blushed heavily as she tried to cover up with her shirt.

It wasn't long enough to do so.

As she tried in vain to hide herself from my sight, I took hold of her shirt, ripping it off as well. Apparently, she didn't like wearing a bra, because after I pulled the shirt over her head, I was seeing a lot of Yuffie.

All of her, to be exact.

Sephiroth must have heard the commotion, because his spirit body entered the room, maneuvering past the bathroom door without making a sound. If he wanted to see two bickering bitches tear each other apart, then by Gaia, he was going to get quite a show.

I offered to fight in even conditions, to which Yuffie replied, "Off with them! If I have to fight like this, you should too!"

"Fine."

I reached down to remove my shorts as well, but apparently, Yuffie wasn't satisfied with simply watching me disrobe on my own volition. She grabbed the back of my shirt, and even though Yuffie wasn't very good at shirt ripping, the backwards pull on my white blouse caused the front of the shirt to tighten around my voluptuous breasts.

I could feel the buttons tremble as they were forced against my tender skin.

Yuffie kept pulling harder and harder. My nipples poked out against the fabric of the shirt farther and farther. The buttons dug into my skin closer and closer. The first thing to go was my bra. I felt it snap and give way, more because of the pressure coming from me than it was from Yuffie.

Only I could see the boyish grin and hope on Sephiroth's face as he tried to subconsciously will my blouse to tear. Finally, the buttons began to burst. The top one went first, revealing a fairly deep line of cleavage through the v-neck of the blouse. The second button fell to the floor, leaving my bust hardly contained within the fabric of the shirt.

Then something happened that Yuffie didn't count on:

I began to feel excited.

This last breath of sensuality filled my bosoms to the breaking point. The final button shot across the room like a rocket as the blouse ripped and it, as well as my bra, fell to the floor, broken beyond repair.

Yuffie spun my naked body around to face her, and as she did this, a rush of milk squirted out and splashed against her face.

Sephiroth went back into the bathroom. I guess he was at the breaking point too.

Yuffie's next plan of attack was to pull my hair. She yanked at the dark strands until some of them came out in a big clump. I yelped in pain, but we both knew what was coming. As I started to tense up and emit a slight glow, Yuffie released her grasp and uttered, "Uh-oh. Not a limit break!"

A fearsome competitive spirit flowed through my body as I automatically released my limit break: A lightning flurry of knockout punches to Yuffie's face.

Left, right, left...

...jab, hook, uppercut...

Yuffie squealed in agony as she crumpled into a ball in the corner. Then I unleashed the final blow in the attack:

A bicycle kick that pushed upwards against Yuffie's jaw.

The fight was over, but Yuffie's pain was only beginning. As I backed away to survey the damage, I grimaced when I saw the blood flowing like an ocean from her nose.

Yuffie's jaw must have been damaged, because she couldn't close her mouth. It was an open gate to the world, providing a close-up view of the 3 or maybe 4 front molars that had been shoved almost completely into her blood-soaked gums.

This girl needed medical attention. I called 9-1-1, and didn't stop crying until my mind drifted to sleep that night. I only slept for an hour or 2 that whole night. Yuffie's dire condition was a wake-up call for me, and I decided right then and there that I would turn my life around.

I thought that I had practically killed the young ninja, and without the help of trained medical specialists, that might have been the case.

* * *

Blackbird- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

I see her

before she comes.

Blackbird, spread your British wings.

Fly home, runaway. Fly.

She rests her laurels

on paid time,

biting into a Cadbury egg.

Bastard.

The scent of her anger

will make me wretch

with violent trembling.

Oh happy day.

* * *

(Tuesday)

When Tifa went in to work on Tuesday morning, she was called into Rico Gunsalvo's office. Her fears that the topic to be discussed centered around Yuffie were unfounded.

"Tifa, yesterday the Don signed a new model to work for our company. She recently came to the Gaia from a far-off land called Great Britain, and she needs a place to stay before she can make enough money to get her own place."

"And you want her to live with me, right?"

"Yes."

"I'll do it."

"Thank you. Let me bring her in."

Rico hit a button on his desk phone, and a security guard escorted the lady into the room.

The new girl looked extremely young. She was in the mid-5-foot height range. She wore an all-black t-shirt and skirt ensemble, which matched her dark black hair. Tifa was actually surprised to see that the rookie didn't have any tattoos or piercings.

As for what her secret skill was, Tifa didn't have the slightest clue. The new girl was very small in some places, and there was nothing exceptional about her, other than the young look to her face.

Of course, everything came into focus when the newcomer opened her mouth, releasing her excruciatingly Cockneyed accent.

"So this is it, then?"

Rico introduced the two ladies to each other.

"Tifa, this is Blackbird. Blackbird, this is your new roommate, Tifa. She's the highest seller in the organization for this year."

"So I'm accorded to give 'er a bloody handclap, then? A nice lot in life, an' what not? Stuff it. I'm not 'ere to be your best seller. I'm not 'ere to get a rise from any of your blokes."

"Then what are you here for?", Rico queried.

"I'm 'ere to get naked. It's as simple as that."

"You like the breeze?" Tifa asked.

"Piss off, will ya? Are you a bloody tosser?"

"A what?"

"Do you fancy a scrap?"

"I'm not...I don't follow."

"Heh...typical Gaian...Never ask what I'm alludin' to, just and old 'quit and go home'."

"I'm sorry, but I don't appreciate your attitude."

"What do you take a fancy to then, eh? Bobbies on your London Bridge? Oh, never mind."

"Excuse me, but exactly how old are you?"

"I've just crossed 18, day before ya speakin' t' me."

"Alright. At least you're legal."

"What? Was that a crack about my looks? You work for farmer MacDonald, then? 'Ere your beef sandwich, you want chips wi' that?"

"Blackbird, you are nothing but a dirty rotten monster!"

"Yeah, an' you're stuck wi' me."

Rico sent Tifa's day spinning farther into its tailspin when he added,

"Tifa, we're hoping that you can help her out. If anyone can fix her, you can."

* * *

Blackbird did not improve when she arrived home with Tifa.

"So, Blackbird, what's your real name?"

"Lorrie tosser."

"Oh. Well, what do you want to eat, Lorrie?"

"My God, you're a blooming idiot! Of course it's not my name."

"Then what is?"

"Lucy."

"Short for Lucille?"

"No, short for Lucifer. Of course it's Lucille, you dumb animal!"

"But I..."

"You what? Go on, spit it out."

"I'm smart...and...and I'm inte...intellegent."

"By jove, you're all teary-eyed. I struck a nerve, didn't I? What's the matter? Hard life? No spine?"

"I was abused by my ex-husband. You remind me of him."

"Oh, boohoo. World's smallest violin, and all that. I'm a little sissy girl, then? Hubby beat you, leave you making messes in your knickers?"

"No. Stop now, please."

"All granted, since you asked so nicely. Now let's make small talk over dinner. You will fix me a sandwich and a smattering of potato crispers, yes? You will fix for yourself a soup and saltines, mayhap an apple beside."

"Is that supposed to be a prediction?"

"No, it's a demand."

"You think you can demand what I'm going to eat?"

"You listened, right?"

Tifa looked down and saw that she had a can of soup in her hand.

After dinner was completed, Tifa asked, "What 3 things do you miss the most about London?"

"London? I was born there, but I lived in Kingston-Upon-Hull. Get your tidbits in a row. Anyhow, the 3 things I miss are as follows:

1. The tender taste of fish n' chips.

2. The pubs.

3. Traveling my father for a good lay now and then."

Tifa's mouth was agape, shocked at Blackbird's last statement.

"Ah, so you've come about the saying a time or so?"

"You forced your father to make love to you?"

"The world may never know."

"I don't want to know. What I do want to know is your real name."

"My real name is Janna Daughlin."

"Well, Janna, I'm leaving in a bit to go to the store."

"And you're tellin' me this because..."

"I don't trust you."

"Then lock me away. It's what my jealous Mum always did."

"In your room?"

"With handcuffs."

"I won't do that, but if you want to be locked in your room, then go ahead. I'm leaving."

* * *

From the diary of Tifa Lockheart:

I met Sephiroth in the store. I guess he followed me. He loves me, but he doesn't yet comprehend the problems of a spirit lusting for a human. It's all new to him.

A lot of friendly acquaintances were shopping there as well, but when I walked by, they all gave me an evil stare. I suppose they've heard about what happened to Yuffie. I also suppose that they don't know the true story.

* * *

When Tifa arrived home, there were 5 cars in the driveway. She prayed for the best, but expected the worst as she opened the door and saw...

...five college-age boys laying in their underwear with Janna, who was in Tifa's blue bathrobe.

"Get out! All of you!" Tifa shouted.

The boys put on their clothes and departed, leaving Janna to steam afterwards.

"What was that about, Tifa?"

"I don't like people making love on my couch. And what's with the whole 5-way thing?"

"Tifa, there's one thing you must know about me. I need a baby. I must have one, and there's nothing you can do to stop me! If you try to interfere again, I swear, honest to Gaia, upon my bleeding heart, I will kill you. I will chop off your bloody neck and feed it to the rabid penguins that I will pull from your arse!"

Janna continued her morbid promise, but Tifa walked away, into Janna's new room.

"Hey now, love! Don't go in there just yet!"

It was too late. Laying on the dresser beside the bed was Janna's passport. Her age was correctly listed as being 14 years old.

"Oh my God! You're..."

"A teenybopper, yes. Bloody well right. What do you make of it?"

"Oh, goodness...no. This can't be happening! I have to get us both out of this, as soon as possible!"

Tifa picked up the phone.

"Rico, this is Tifa. Did you know that Janna is only 14?"

"Who?"

"Blackbird."

"What?! No! This is the first I've heard of it! Let me patch you in to Don."

"Hello, this is the Don. How may I help you, Tifa?"

"Blackbird is only 14. Did you know that?"

"Yes."

"No hesitation?! Don, you're a sick, perverted freak. If you don't fire her this instant, then I walk!"

"Fine, alright! Anything to keep my best girl! As of tomorrow, she will officially be terminated."

"She'd better be. Goodbye."

*click*

"Tifa, why?! What have you done?!"

"Saving my job down the line. You're not even legal. I have never encountered someone like you in my life."

"An' ya just cut off my money chain!"

"Don't worry. I'll find you a job."

"So be it. Stuff the Don, then. But I'm having a baby; a whole motherload full of them! I want to be so pregnant, they have to wheel me around in a wheelbarrow!"

"Over my dead body."

* * *

At supper that night, Janna didn't let up.

"Supper's ready, Janna."

When Janna sat down and saw what was on her plate, she stood up and went back to the couch.

"What is that horse-rubbish?"

"It's pasta."

"You could have fooled me. I thought it was a pile of used condoms."

Tifa had heard enough from Janna, and she snapped back, "It's not like you would know. Protection's not your strong suit."

"Is that a tone of rebellion I hear? Careful, I says to myself, I wouldn't want t' have my teeth knocked into my gums. You're quite a menace t' society yourself."

"How did you know about that?"

"I fielded a call for you day before I'm speakin' t' ya."

"And?"

"A total reconstruction, the diagnosis was. They had to set 'er nose back in place as well."

"It wasn't broken?"

"No...it was removed."

"WHAT?!"

"Calm it! I'm just pullin' your leg."

"So the nose is fine?"

"Of course. It's perfectly alright. In fact, it's completely shattered."

"Oh my God."

"Yeah, you did quite a number on her. I'm impressed. Anyway, if you need me, I'll be in my room, listening to 'The White Album'.

* * *

When Janna had closed her door and removed herself from the room totally, Aeris popped in and began to eat the extra plate of pasta. Sephiroth reclined on the couch and watched the evening news.

"It's so good to see you, Aeris! That girl is such a handful!"

"Do we still have to keep our voices down?"

"No. She'll be playing music. She can't hear."

"Good. Janna is so creepy! I hate her already!"

"Tell me about it. But I can't just put her on the street! I got her removed from her job."

"I heard that. Don has really gone to a new low!"

"I told him that if she stays on salary, I'm walking. Then he fired her. Well, sort of."

"You should call Protective Services. They'll find her a home."

"I'm terrified of her."

"We are too, Tifa."

Sephiroth spoke up, "I thought it would be cool to come back to Gaia and see you get dressed, but it gets old after the first dozen times."

Aeris added, "Don't listen to him. If he was there, you'd see him."

"I know."

Sephiroth continued, "I can't wait to get back to the Lifestream."

"You know", Aeris replied, "If we can get Tifa to write a novel, we can leave."

"Or if I can get her to fall in love with me. Don't forget that."

"Wait a second!", Tifa interrupted.

"Are you saying that I'd have to choose between writing and love? I couldn't have both?"

"Nope. When one leaves, we both leave.", Sephiroth mused.

"But I wouldn't want you two to leave."

"If we don't leave, then we will never go to the Lifestream again, and we wouldn't have helped you out. Think about that."

* * *

(Wednesday)

"I want biscuits!"

Imagine waking up to that every morning.

Tifa crawled out of bed and into the kitchen, looking for any biscuits that she could cook. Unfortunately, there were only two left.

"I'm sorry, but there are only two left."

"So what?"

"So let's have pancakes instead?"

"NO! I SAID BISCUITS!"

Tifa recoiled in shock as witnessed Janna begin to huff and puff, and to blow her hair into a crazy form that looked like a dark frizz-ball.

"Listen here, you little spoiled brat! No one talks to Tifa Lockheart that way!"

"Then do somethin'! That's what I thought! You're a big chicken, aren't you? You won't do a thing!"

...After Tifa had finished baking the two biscuits, she set them on the table; one for Tifa, and one for Janna.

As Tifa reached for her biscuit, Janna reached out and swiped it out of her hand.

"Mine!"

Janna ate both of the biscuits.

* * *

Tifa encountered something that day that was slightly odd. The situation went something like this:

A young girl walked into the bar. She had dark hair, and her personality was very kind, like Aeris. She walked up to the bar and asked, "How do I get to Zanarkand from here?"

"You're a long way off. In fact, I don't know what you did, but you're insanely lost. I think your disc might be scratched, or dirty, or something."

Tifa hated to see her cry when she told the inconvenient truth, but that's how the life of a video game character is sometimes: There are mistakes.

Still, she couldn't understand why Rinoa Heartlilly had left the 8th world to come the 7th world, only to ask directions to the 10th world. Tifa shook it from her mind, and continued her job.

Of course, who would show up but everyone's friendly neighborhood flirt, Reno.

"Reno, do you have experience with teenagers?"

"I was one."

"Yeah, well, I have this problem. You see, I'm housing a teenager who is really rowdy, and won't listen to a thing I say."

"Oh. I suck at parenting. I think."

Reno paid for his drink and turned to go.

"What, no music? No misguided advice?"

"You like that stuff?"

"Well..."

"You do, don't you?"

"I do. It's almost like a highlight of my day."

"I don't have anything for you today."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm saving all of my material for tonight."

"What are you talking about?"

"You like surprises, right?"

"Yeah."

"Tifa, tonight will be a surprise to remember."

"I guess that's what I get when I open the door to Reno...Reno...what's your last name?"

"That's a need-to-know basis. To you, I'm your mysterious stranger."

"Ooh. See you tonight, stranger."

* * *

Reno always arrives late.

Tifa expected an excellent candle-lit dinner, followed by dancing and trip to Tifa's spacious bed.

Instead, Reno did not show up until 2 o' clock in the morning.

It was the ultimate show, in Reno's eyes, of the fact that he was willing to take things slow. He climbed into bed with Tifa. She stirred, and smiled when she saw his face, but quickly dozed back off to sleep. Reno did the same. For the first time in his life, he was perfectly content with waiting until the timing was right.

* * *

(Thursday)

It was the worst thing that Tifa could have woken up to. Reno was gone, to work probably. Tifa turned on the TV to watch the morning news. Except...

...it wasn't the news. On the screen was an image of two burning towers:

The ShinRa Towers.

Tifa was worried for Reno's safety, so she called him on his cellphone.

"Reno, please tell me that you're safe!"

"I am. Rufus and the Turks got out fine. We were the lucky ones. It's chaos out here. Sorry that you had to worry yourself about me."

"I'm worried for everyone."

"Me too."

* * *

Janna had been gone for most of the day. Tifa did not question why, mostly because she didn't want to know.

* * *

(Friday)

When Janna arrived back home on Friday morning, she appeared to be totally uncaring about the fact that many people had lost their lives the previous day.

She simply laid a case on the kitchen table and went to her room.

Tifa happened to walk by the table and see exactly what the case was.

It was a demo video, of Janna. It was directed by Don Corneo.

* * *

"Don! I told you to fire Janna!"

"Uh...sorry?"

"Are you going to continue to work with this girl?"

"No. Her demo sucked."

"And that's your reasoning? I quit."

"You what?!"

"You heard me. I quit."

"You quit working for me? You quit making this corporation the biggest seller of adult films in existence? We'll be hopeless without you!"

"Too bad. And I'm not quitting you. I'm quitting the industry all together. My days of making movies are done."

"You can't be serious!"

"Oh, but I am!"

"The girls are going to be so upset!"

"Too bad. Goodbye...forever."

* * *

By 3 P.M. on Friday afternoon, every girl that worked for Don and Rico had heard all about Tifa quitting. Every girl in the building knew what that meant:

Less sales.

Don was right: they were quite upset.

What Tifa didn't count on, however?

They were angry enough to do something about it.

And there was someone living with Tifa who could let them in.

* * *

(Saturday)

Lucky for Janna, Tifa had to be gone all day. She had a lot of shopping to do in order to keep the bar stocked, and she had also agreed to meet Reno for lunch.

Janna had collected the phone numbers of every girl that was currently working for the Don, and they were all ready to come over and exact their revenge.

* * *

Lunch with Reno had been great for Tifa. There wasn't much special about it. It was simply an average steakhouse, and the small talk wasn't too deep. She did, however, enjoy Reno's company.

What she did not enjoy, however, is what awaited her when she got home.

From the moment Tifa stepped through the door, she couldn't smell the stink.

"Dang, Jenna! What did you do?"

No answer.

The smell was coming from the bathroom, and that made Tifa very scared that Janna had done something. She had no idea that her former co-workers were in on the plot.

When Tifa opened the bathroom door, she instantly puked. The smell was horrific. There was pee all over the floor, flooding the corners with little yellow puddles. The commode was so filled with poop, it overflowed out of the bowl, and seemed to rise like a column pointing toward the ceiling.

This was the result of 100 angry co-workers, all trying to do their 'business' at the same time.

Tifa closed the door and sat on the floor, crying.

It didn't help matters to hear Janna walk by and give Tifa the details.

"That, my friend, is the wrath of angry women. 100, to be exact. Oh, and by the way, I'm pregnant."

Tifa wiped her tears as she queried, "Are you absolutely positive?"

"I am. Two tests confirm it."

"Who's the father?"

Janna turned around, letting the message on the back of her hoodie do the talking. It read:

'Precious Father'.

Janna turned back around and continued:

"We shut the bar down while you were gone. You lost a pretty good bit of business, I'd say. And that Denzel kid was looking for you. He said he wants to talk with you tomorrow.

Tifa stood to her feet and continued about her day, confident that the week from heck would give way to something more pleasant. Things already seemed to be turning up, for she witnessed the spirits of Aeris and Sephiroth volunteer to clean the bathroom. How nice of them. It was the least they could do to help.

* * *

(Sunday)

On the seventh day, Tifa looked over the past week and saw that it was bad. Tifa rested, and it was the seventh day.

* * *

Looking Out The Turtle's Shell- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

The book will write itself.

If I stare at the paper,

curled words will form,

and my mind writes the smiles

while my heart beats its wings.

Aeris is cute with a

plunger in her hand.

The reason it's dark:

It flows out from me.

Stories are my dropping

in a thousand cranial toilets.

Realities are plumbers.

We have fallen, all, into the cracks.


	21. How I Met Your Father

Note: I'm switching back to left-aligned text for a while, instead of centered. Thanks to everyone for being so patient in waiting for this chapter. At first, I was suffering writer's block, and after that, I started to really dive into my poetry headfirst and get lost in it for a while. The chapter's not that long, but I don't feel that it has to be. Besides, the past 2 or 3 have been really long. Anyway, congrats to Cloudlover2989 for correctly answering the question for Chapter 20. The answer was: Blackbird.

(This chapter's quiz question is very random, but if you've seen the show 'How I Met Your Mother', you should know. If not, google it. I know the answer's there, because I checked it.)

**Chapter 21 Quiz Question: Who is Barney Stinson's slap-bet commissioner?**

**Chapter 21 Prize: Who will Tifa go on a date with in Chapter 22? The choices are: Reno, Denzel, Sephiroth, Cloud, or Aeris (girl's night out).**

Chapter 21- How I Met Your Father

(12 years in the future)…

They were sitting on the bed, patiently, like good children. Story time was something that the young five-year-olds (a boy and a girl) always looked forward to, and this night was no different. Tifa walked into the room and began, "Alright, kids. Are you ready for story time?"  
"Yes!!!"  
"Okay. Hmm…how about this…I'll tell you the story of how I met your father. It was about twelve years ago…"  
"But mom! Daddy said that he met you 10 years ago!"  
"It's alright, son. The journey is just as important as the first encounter. Now, where was I? Ah yes, I was at my job after I had sent away the monster for good."  
"Ooh! A monster?! What kind of monster?"  
"A mean monster."  
"We want to hear!"  
"Fine. It was a sunny day in September…"

Dear Diary:

Aeris was sitting at the bar when I woke up. There was a commotion outside, and she was curious as to what it was.

"Is that who I think it is?" she asked.  
"It sure is…social services. It's not my job to take care of that little monster, because I didn't sign up for this."  
"Yeah, but who would?"  
"I'm sure somebody will."

Aeris walked towards the entrance, but turned to look out of the window. "She's already inside the van?"  
"Yes. Oddly enough, she left without a fight."  
"Maybe it was just you that she had a problem with."  
"I doubt it."

Glancing back at me, Aeris queried, "Are you serious about quitting the adult film business? I hope you are."  
"I am serious, and I promise that I'm going to turn my life around and get my book written."  
"The one about the murder mystery?"  
"No. I've decided that I'll do something a bit more abstract."  
"What will it be about?"  
"I don't know. I want to write abstractly, but I need some practice."  
"Oh. I'm more of a crime/romance muse myself, but Sephiroth could help you. Just tell him that you want some abstract lessons."  
"Alright. It's worth a try."

Aeris stepped away from the window and walked back towards the bar.  
"You know, Tifa, I wonder what's going to happen with Jenna's baby."  
"Who?"  
"The monster."  
"Oh…yeah. I don't know. It might make it harder to get her adopted."  
"Maybe not. It's like a double package. You know you're getting two kids for the price of one."  
"Personally, the only reason I care is because of who the father is."  
"That's how I feel too."  
__________________________________________________________________________

Reno always wears suits. It's his thing. In fact, I've never seen him without one. It's almost creepy, in a way. But it's also hot. There's just something about a man in a suit.  
Anyway, when Reno came in today, Aeris and Sephiroth were nearby, perfectly able to hear every word that was said.

Reno walked up to the bar and said, "How's my favorite bartender today?"  
I laughed and replied, "I think you have the wrong bartender."  
"No, I'm sure you're the one."  
"That's really nice Reno, but I'm trying to clean up my image. Give me one reason to believe that you could contribute to my little 'Spring Cleaning' experiment."  
"Tifa, it's Fall."  
"I know. Answer the question."  
"It's not a question."  
"Are you trying to test me?"  
"No, Teef…I thought you were testing me."  
"I am."

I bit my lip flirtingly as Reno answered, "Well, I haven't called for a hooker in…a month."  
"That's an improvement for you, isn't it?"  
"Yeah. Do you know what you need?"  
"What's that?"  
"You need a group of friends…friends that care about you and will commit to meeting together at a set time weekly, or maybe biweekly, if they start feeling lonely."  
"Are you the lonely one?"  
"Are you kidding? Everybody's lonely except for me and my…"  
"…hand?"  
"That's not funny, Teef!"  
"Of course it is. There's no insult like the truth."  
"Yeah, right. Anyway, we need some friends. I suppose you and me make 2. Let's throw Sephiroth and Aeris into the mix."

Sephiroth instantly perked his head up in attention and commented, "We're only visiting this planet. We're just passing through."  
To which Reno replied, "Aren't we all? Anyway, that's 4. How about one more? Yuffie, perhaps? Or Vincent?"  
"That's not going to happen." I said. "Yuffie's too pissed to let that happen anytime soon. Besides, she just got out of the hospital. She looks rough."  
"Okay. How about Cid and Shera?"  
"No. I don't think so."  
"I've got it! Let's get………wait for it……….. Barret!"  
"Whoa! I think he hates me now!"

Aeris piped up, "I don't know, Tifa. If you're really getting your act together, he could be impressed by that. He may even lift the restraining orders."  
"Fine, but I'll have to test the waters on that one before it becomes a reality."  
"Good!" Reno replied. "Now we need a place."  
"How about here?" Aeris chimed in.  
"That's perfect, on one condition…"  
"What's that?"  
"Everyone needs to suit up."  
_____________________________________________________________________________

I talked to Sephiroth later. I think I said something like 'Can you give me abstract lessons?', and he responded by placing his hand on my head.  
It felt as if my mind was being folded in upon itself, and I know that I dozed off for a minute. When I woke up, I found that I was inside of a large room. The room was completely empty…and square. Every wall was painted white, and it looked like something from an abstract film.  
I noticed a figure in front of me, with his back turned. I called out to him.  
"Sir, who are you?"  
"My name is Denzel."

I nearly had to catch my breath.  
"Is it really you?"  
"Yes, it's really me. I was in my room, and now I'm here. Why?"  
"I was hoping you could tell me. I mean, I was just talking to Sephiroth about getting abstract lessons."  
"I suppose this is your lesson. He knows."  
"He knows what?"  
"He knows that we need to talk."  
"I'd say so. You, uh, weren't exactly too…how should I say it…umm…"  
"You're dancing around the issue."  
"The issue…?"

Denzel stood and turned around, so that I could see his face.  
"Tifa, I've made love to you."  
"Denzel, you forced yourself upon me!"  
"You were nude…visibly excited…free invitation, right?"  
"Absolutely not! Are you trying to say that if you hadn't interrupted me while I was in the bathroom, you wouldn't have done that?"  
"I know I wouldn't have. Your body is intoxicating. It makes a man do things that he wouldn't normally do."  
"I thought you would…refrain…"  
"Because you helped to raise me as a child? No. I always knew you weren't my mother."  
"But it's not about the letter of the law. It's the intent."  
"Tifa, I love you."

I stood silently for a while, a large lump in my throat causing me not to speak and my eyes to water. When it cleared, I muttered: "You don't love me. You worship me."  
"Pardon?"  
"You don't want to be my wife. You don't want to know how I'm feeling. You don't even want to be in a relationship with me. You just want me to keep tending to your needs like a child, and you get your sex in return. That's not okay with me."  
"So you're saying no?"  
"Please, don't…like…go crazy or anything."  
"I won't. I might be perverted, but I'm not insane. I can take a hint. I heard that you quit 'the business'."  
"I did."  
"It's a shame. You were amazing."  
"Save your flatteries. I'm done here. Sephiroth…I'm ready."

As soon as I said those words, I was back in the real world, staring deeply into Sephiroth's face. "Was that real?" I asked.  
"Every second was real. Okay, so Denzel might not have really been there, but that's what he would have said. Those are his feelings, truly."  
"Wow…he's become such a pervert!"  
"Like Reno?"  
"No. Not like Reno."  
"How so?"  
"He's too clingy."  
_____________________________________________________________________

(12 years in the future)…

"Mommy, your stories take a long time."  
"I know. That's why they're so good. Now, good night. Let's get to sleep."

Tifa tucked them into bed, turned out the light, and closed the door. The only thing that she could think about was the blessing that she had been given:  
Two great kids, without the pain of childbirth. It was like everything a woman could wish for, but of course, that's a story for a later time."


	22. The Plot

Note: Congratulations to Cloudlover2989 for getting last chapter's quiz question right. The answer was: Lily.

This chapter's quiz question is: Who was the leader of the 1605 Gunpowder Plot to destroy British Parliament? (Any 'V for Vendetta' fan should know this.)

I'm giving two people a chance to win on this question.

For the first correct answer: Would Tifa rather have her writing career (Aeris), or true love (Sephiroth)?

For the second correct answer: Will Tifa find out that Reno's lying about Cloud?

Also, I'm planning for an upcoming Mailbox chapter, where everyone can send me their questions about this story, and hopefully I can clear up anything that you might be wondering or don't understand. So please, send me your questions!

Chapter 22- The Plot

Foreigners- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

Foreigners.  
They try to enter my head  
through the cranial turnstiles,  
having all their paperwork.  
Am I…

…wrong to not let them in?  
Not scared of change,  
but awkward, tingly,  
everyone having their passports,  
but no one going home.

* * *

Tifa Marie Lockheart awoke with a start in the middle of the night. It had been a dream…the children. Secretly, the desire to be a mother was beginning to reveal itself. Obviously, her damaged body could never achieve her desire. No one ever said that Tifa would be relieved of these feelings, however.  
She could feel them just as vividly as in the dream from which she had escaped into reality. They were smiling, giggling playfully as Tifa told them a story…the same story? But no, it was all made up fairytales. Try as she may, all the dreaming in the world would never bring a child to Tifa Lockheart, at least not biologically. Still, there was a voice in the back of her head that made her question whether or not she really wanted to have such a responsibility.

* * *

Once Tifa had finished getting dressed and eating breakfast, she went out to the mailbox to retrieve her mail. The first letter in the stack was written by a Mr. Cloud Strife. What could he want? Tifa walked back inside to see Aeris and Sephiroth sitting at one of the tables in the bar.  
"Do we have any mail?", Aeris queried.  
"Of course not. You're dead to the world."  
"I know. I'm just hopeful."  
"Aeris, I must say that over the past few days, it seems as if you're becoming more like yourself."  
"No. I come from you. You're the one that's changing for the better, and it's a welcome sight to see."  
"Thank you. I'm glad that you've noticed."

Sephiroth looked up at Tifa and exclaimed, "I burnt my toast."  
"And?"  
"I'm Sephiroth. I'm not supposed to burn toast."  
"Well, apparently, Aeris is."  
"I see. In that case, Aeris sucks at toast making."

Aeris lightly slapped Sephiroth on the arm and replied, "I do not! I'm a good cook!"  
"Fine, then. Let's test it. Tonight, Aeris fixes supper."  
"Alright. I'll do it, and you'll love it."

Tifa commented, "You two are so weird and awkward. Aeris, you do realize that Seph killed you, right?"  
"Ah, but he's not really Sephiroth."  
"True. Gosh, Aeris. I never thought that I had it in my spirit to be so friendly with you."  
"Of course you do. Cloud was in the way. That was all."

"Yeah, well, I'm trashing this letter from Cloud."  
"Don't do it!", Sephiroth exclaimed.  
"Why the hell not? He killed me, Seph! For all intents and purposes, he's killed me!"  
"You're not dead. But trust me, he's changed. I know the inner heart of that man, and he just gets a little cranky when he's overloaded on Mako. Now that he's been drained, that will never happen again. I promise it."

"What do you think, Aeris?"  
"Oh gosh, I'm torn on this one. I think he's better now, but you still have all those memories! I say try it once. Give the man a shot, and nothing more."  
"Okay. That sounds good. Let's see what he wants."

The letter read:

'Dear Tifa,

I'm back in town again, but it's only a week before I have to go back with Vincent for the last phase of my training. I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me tonight. If you do, then meet me at the coffee shop across town at 2:00 this afternoon. I know you have a bar to tend later, so I won't try to take too long. Please, give me one more chance.

Love,

Cloud'

"Great. This is going to be so awkward! I'll have to get my best dress cleaned, and…Cloud has the worst timing sometimes."  
"Don't worry, Tifa. Seph and I will take care of it. I guess you're talking about your teal-blue strapless dress, right?"  
"Yes."

Sephiroth ate a spoonful of the cereal sitting in front of him before adding, "You're wearing the hoochie dress?"  
"Yes, I…I mean…Aeris, is that really what you think of it?"  
"Well, I like it. But that just means that you like it. I suppose what's most important is what I feel like doing. Man, I love saying that!"  
"Wait!"

The room suddenly became silent following Tifa's exclamation. "I just had a thought. Aeris, you are me, right?"  
"Yes."  
"And I am me, right?"  
"Yes."  
"Then why do we not think the same things?"  
"It's because I am simply the voice of logic, with no memories or life lessons to affect my ideas."  
"I see. So I'm biased?"  
"Everyone is."

* * *

At approximately 11:00 A.M., Reno came into the bar. "Hey, Tifa! Where are you at? I know you're here, because the door's unlocked."  
"I'm in the bathroom. I'm getting ready for a date tonight."  
"Really? With who?"  
"Cloud."  
"What?! Are you serious?! You can't be serious!"  
"I am. Everyone seems to think that he has changed, so I'll give him one small chance."  
"I thought that I was your man."  
"Reno, you are a very good friend. I might be going out with Cloud tonight, but even if I change my mind about him, he's still going to be just a friend. I don't feel ready for love yet."  
"That's the beauty of love, Tifa. It can make you ready. Well, I won't bother you if you're busy."  
"Alright. Come by tonight. I'll be expecting you."  
"I'll be there."

* * *

Tifa's date with Cloud was indeed very awkward. There was a lot of small talk, but Cloud kept his distance. It seemed that he was wary about even touching Tifa. Overall, the date went something like this:

"This is some good coffee, isn't it, Tifa?"  
"It sure is…good coffee…yeah."  
"Nice weather we're having."  
"Yes, it sure is."  
"You seem nicer, Cloud."  
"I am. I'm back to normal…and all that good stuff."  
"I understand. Where are you staying?"  
"Vincent's attic."  
"Must be dusty up there."  
"Yep."  
"Yeah…"  
"So, I can't believe we're back together."  
"We're not together."  
"Can I call later?"  
"I suppose…if you must."  
"That's good."  
"Cloud, this just sucks."  
"This date?"  
"Yeah…it does, really."  
"Wow. But it's better, right?"  
"Sure. Back to good 'ol boring Cloud. For sure."  
"Tifa, were we ever like this before?"  
"Sometimes. I think you're just nervous, and you should be. You're a wife beater."  
"Tifa…I…"  
"Look, Cloud. Is this supposed to be some kind of assignment for you? Like Cloud gets a little star in his column, an A in behavior? Because you pass. I have to hand it to you, you've changed. I can sense it. But that's all I sense. Did they drain your spirit too? Gawd, you're so dry!"  
"Tifa, you've changed too. Where's the nice and caring Tifa that I loved?"  
"In a graveyard someplace…someplace far away."  
"I'll dig it up, then. I'll get your spirit back."  
"I'm sure that you'll try. But you don't have the time. Goodbye, Cloud."

As Tifa turned to leave, she found herself being face-to-face with Aeris Gainsborough. In a hushed voice, Tifa whispered, "Aeris, what are you doing here?"  
"I followed you. You can't just leave him. Look at him; you're crushing his spirit."  
"Damn it, why can't everyone see that he ruined mine?! He's getting what he deserves! Besides, he has the personality of a saltine cracker."  
"And yet you still loved him the first time. Cloud's always been stale. It's just that you've gained a resistance to B.S., and you don't put up with anything."  
"Which is a good thing."  
"Sometimes. I want you to go back and tell him sorry. Tell him to call you later."  
"Do I really think that?"  
"Yes, if you were thinking logically."  
"This situation isn't logical….fine, I'll do it."

"Cloud, I'm sorry for being insensitive. Please, call me tonight. Maybe it just takes time to ease these hurts. I'll be waiting for you."  
"Okay. I'll do that. Goodbye, Tifa."  
"Goodbye, Cloud."

* * *

Reno was frantically pacing circles in his living room, with Rude watching the strange spectacle. "Rude, I can't believe I'm about to do this."  
"Can you run it by me again? It just sounds odd."  
"Okay. I love Tifa, right?"  
"I guess so."  
"And Tifa will always have a special place in her heart for Cloud, right?"  
"You could be giving him too much credit. Maybe he'll do something to screw it all up. Or maybe Tifa doesn't like him anymore."  
"No…I can't take that chance. I don't want to go unloved anymore."  
"Reno, this is very selfish."  
"That's the definition of being a Turk: We're all heartless bastards, aren't we?"  
"Uh, no."  
"Whatever."  
"So what's the plan?"  
"You hit me with your nightstick, as hard as you can."  
"Why?"  
"So I can blame it on Cloud. Tifa will believe the worst about him, and she'll kick him to the curb."  
"That's exactly my point."  
"What?"  
"That you don't need to do this. Cloud's a screwup on his own."  
"Let's just get it over with."  
"Reno, you idiot…"

With that turn of a phrase, Rude smashed his nightstick over Reno's head.

* * *

When Reno arrived at Tifa's bar that night, the bleeding had stopped, but the wound was still very vicious and gruesome. Tifa ran up to Reno, and queried, "Reno, what happened?!" Reno's devious response was the cold and cruel lie, "It's Cloud. Cloud did this to me."

* * *

(Remember! Send in your questions for the mailbox chapter. The next update will be soon, I promise.)


	23. Intermission: F3

(In case you're wondering why this little intermission is odd, there are two reasons. Firstly, I think I have 'E3' fever. I've been keeping up with the latest gaming news for the past two days. Secondly, nobody has sent me any mailbox questions. So this is what you get instead. Sorry.)

Intermission- F3 announcement

…Now…the moment you've all been waiting for! Here to showcase the new lineup for 2009-2010, welcome A. James Robin!...

(massive applause)

"Thank you! It is my honor to be here with you at F3. FanFictionFrenzy is, by far, one of my favorite dates on the calendar, and I wouldn't miss it for the world. Without any further ado, let's begin.

If there's anything that the FanFiction universe knows about the work of A. James Robin, it is this: It is exciting…it is controversial…and it is highly original. Don't take my word for it. Check the reviews.

However, if there is one thing it is not: it is not adverse to change. Here at Robin Studios, we are committed to the three T's of storytelling: Timing, Tone, and Talking about myself in the third person. These are the foundations of a good story, and they will never change.

Another factor that will remain unchanged is vision. From the beginning, my mission has been to infuse the world of FanFiction with a greater sense of speculation concerning legendary characters, making people question: Are these characters really what SquareEnix says that they are? Three times over, the bar has been raised higher, and the viewing public has sounded its approval every time.

When 'Baroquen Heart' claimed that Yuffie Kisaragi was a fugitive with a baby boy to take care of, the readers responded, giving 'Baroquen Heart' 1,000 hits and 24 reviews. When 'Psych Heart' shattered the sanity of Tifa Lockheart, you wanted more, supplying over 8,500 hits and 37 reviews. Now, with the exclusive release of Tifa Lockheart's diary, 'Bleeding Heart' has been a massive success, gathering 9,400 hits and 85 reviews. I would estimate that the 10,000 hit mark will be achieved by summer's end (if not sooner), and 100 reviews should be gained by the end of the year.

But you, the fan, may be asking, "Is there more to come in Tifa's adventures?" The answer is a resounding 'Yes!' For details on upcoming 'Bleeding Heart' chapters, here's Tifa Lockheart.

(Tifa enters to many whistles and catcalls from the males in the audience.)

"Hello, FF7 fans! For the past year, people have started asking me, "Is any of this real?" The answer is: partially. Granted, my relationship with Cloud has not always been as rocky as the story makes it seem. However, it has been somewhat strained, and the details of a deeper hurt only add to the originality of the storyline.

Now, as you know, 'Bleeding Heart' is not yet finished. Sadly enough, it cannot go on forever. It is gearing towards an end when it comes to the overall lifeline of a story. However, 'Bleeding Heart' is far from dead. New chapters and storylines will continue to be written at least through the end of the year, with its future status being evaluated during the holidays of 2009.

Here is a sneak peak of what's to come in the following months:

* * *

"You can't be telling me the truth!" Cloud exclaimed.  
"I am."

My wine glass was nearly empty…again. I could not recall the number of times that I had seen that sight over the preceding days, thinking, 'that's déjà vu if I ever did see it.'

"Tifa…you were doing so well. I know that he hurt you, but that was to be expected. Since when have we ever trusted the little red-headed…"

I swiftly interrupted him with the slamming down of my glass upon the table.  
"This has nothing to do with Reno! Leave him out of it!"  
"Then what is it? What would drive you to do this? Even in your darkest days, you never touched this stuff!"

I sighed deeply and whispered into the wind: "A helpful friend…my comfort in this dreadful place. Apparent here before my face. The bottle is my end."

My feet felt like columns of Jell-O as I stumbled toward him and continued, "It makes sense, doesn't it? I have to do the worst to be free from it all."  
"That's nonsense! Now, tell me why!"  
"I'll never tell!"  
"Fine, then."  
"What?"

Cloud turned his back to me and muttered, "If you don't feel comfortable telling, then I'll never ask. If I can't ask, then what am I doing here?"  
"So you're just going to give up on me?"

I began to fall, but Cloud caught me when I was mere inches from doing a face plant. He lifted my face, looked softly into my glazed-over eyeballs, and whispered, "You didn't give up on me, so I won't give up on you. I'll give you one more chance. Will you tell me what has you so rattled?"

It was a chore just trying to stand up. I could not tell Cloud what the problem was. I could only lead him to a darkened room high up on the second floor. I knew what he would experience, and he couldn't handle it: the sense of a pale mist that floated thinly across the room, the darkness of a lamp that had long since passed the torch of light on to a tiny candle sitting at its base, the feeling of pleasant dread.  
I wondered if she was still playing, toying with that old contraption. It was the infernal one, with a dusty box that had not seen the light of day in years. I had not opened it since Yuffie gave it to me. Sephiroth introduced the spirit to it, and it had changed her inner being completely. Above all, I wondered how it would look to Cloud, witnessing her long brown hair flow down her back as she bent forward to play the Devil's Game.  
I wondered what Cloud would think to see his little darling angel, staring down into the eyes of powers she couldn't comprehend.  
Above all, I wondered if Cloud would sit down and play that game that had so enchanted me as of late. To every wonder and hunch, I silently answered 'yes, he would. With his one true love sitting across the room, speaking through her invisible shell, yes. Cloud would live to die, playing a round on…

…The Board.  
_________________________________________________________________

(Fans cheer)

"So, how did you like it? I know that you'll enjoy reading it just as much as I feared writing it. Please welcome A. James Robin back to the stage."

"Thank you, Tifa. Now, as for new and original stories, this upcoming season will feature many different titles, some familiar and some very different. The first major release to look forward to is another installment of the 'Final Parody' series.

The newest edition, titled simply 'Suits', will be comprised of many genres of music, and will focus on the secret story of everyone's favorite government lackeys: The Turks.

Also, be looking for the newest installment in the Heart series, "One-shot to the Heart". This story will be an ongoing collection of hilarious one-shots featuring your favorite FF7 characters. I can guarantee that "One-shot" is one comedy that you cannot miss.

And finally, I have a treat for my readers outside of the United States: The Reader Award! The Reader Award is given to the one primarily non-English-speaking nation which has read my stories the most.  
Now, firstly, congratulations to the following North American/European nations:

USA- 8,484 page views

UK- 1,207 page views

Canada- 1,005 page views

Australia- 565 page views

Without any further ado, coming in at #5, and winning the Reader Award for most views by a non-English-speaking nation…

…the Philippines, with 405 page views!

Thanks, everyone! I hope you enjoy the stories and chapter to come! This is A. James Robin, signing out.


	24. Naturally, It Rained

Thanks to all of my readers out there. 'Bleeding Heart' has officially hit the 10,000 hit mark. Truly, this is a day for celebration! Let's celebrate with a new chapter.

Note: Thanks to Cloudlover2989 and J.A. Mejia for the correct answer: Guy Fawkes.

The quiz question for this chapter is quite random: What is the name of the 9th song on the 4th album by The Who?

The winner's prize: What's Tifa's next addiction? (Don't hesitate to make it something really twisted.)

Chapter 24- Naturally, It Rained

Rain Greased Fulcrum- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

How am I  
supposed to feel  
when man hurts man again,  
when all I can offer  
are these six little lines?  
This is my Vietnam.

* * *

From the diary of Tifa Marie Lockheart: (9/21/01)

It was the final straw. For Cloud to come back like innocent mister friendly and then do what he did to Reno? No chance in hell for him now.  
Reno looked absolutely pitiful. His eye had been bruised severely, mirroring the marks that I used to wear. There's no mistaking, that was the work of Cloud Strife.

Reno filled me in on all the details, but I couldn't listen. All that was flashing through my head was the pain that had racked my body so many times before. I refuse…I simply refuse to let that man run around like this anymore. He will pay so many times over for all of his crimes! In fact…hold that thought…the phone is ringing.

* * *

Tifa Lockheart picked up the phone and heard the voice that angered her most.  
"Oh. It's you, Cloud. Why can't you keep your hands to yourself?!  
"I'm sorry, what are you talking about?"  
"Don't play innocent with me, you heartless bastard!"  
"Tifa, calm down!"  
"You didn't calm down, did you?!"  
"Please, explain to me: what do you think I did?"  
"I think you beat up Reno!"  
"Tifa, why would I do that?"  
"Because you're jealous of him, that's why!"  
"Sorry. You must have me confused for the old Cloud."  
"Don't play with me! You did, and Reno says so."  
"Tifa…I.."  
"Don't go anywhere. Stay put."  
"Why? Tifa, I didn't…"  
*click*

After Tifa had hung up the phone, she reached behind the counter for the handgun that she had recently kept for protection. Reno didn't like the scene in the least bit.

"Tifa, what are you going to do with that?"  
"I'm going to see Cloud. Do you have any last words for him?"  
"Tifa…no! Please, don't do anything that you wouldn't normally do!"  
"Why shouldn't I?"  
"Because…"

Reno tried to prepare himself for the fury that would surely come once he confessed.  
"Cloud didn't beat me up. I made Rude do it, so I could get Cloud out of the picture."

Tifa frowned as she processed the new information, then twirled around swiftly, pointing the gun at Reno's head. Tifa's hand was quivering, but she was intending to pull the trigger until Yuffie came in.  
"Tifa, stop!"

It was the first time that Tifa had seen Yuffie since 'the accident'. Yuffie was now wearing dental headgear, and the sight of the young ninja with a bar around her face made Tifa crack up laughing.

"Tifa, it's not funny!"  
"Yes, I think that it is."  
"No, it's not, because you did this to me! Reno, you can leave."  
"No, Reno, you may not leave."

Reno was more than a little confused. However, he couldn't have been any more confused than Yuffie was.  
"Tifa, I demand that you tell me what's going on here! Why would you point a gun at Reno?"  
"Yeah, Tifa. Why would you do that to me?"

Suddenly, the ghostly voice of Aeris sifted into her consciousness.  
"Tifa, I'm wanting to make those cookies that you love so much, but I forgot the recipe when I was in the Lifestream. Do you have it around anywhere?"

As if the chaos of 3 inner voices wasn't enough, Sephiroth added his to the mix, barging into Tifa's subconscious and demanding to know the answer to his question.  
"It's time to choose, Tifa. Which one is it? Your writing, or love?"

"Tifa, are you listening? I want you to explain what's going on!"  
"Yeah, Tifa! Are you even listening?"  
"I can't find that recipe anywhere!"  
"Choose now!"

All of the voices finally bubbled over inside of Tifa until she exclaimed, "Reno tried to kitchen write!"  
"Huh?"  
"What the crap? I don't know what you're talking about!"  
"Where in the kitchen?"  
"You choose Aeris?!"

Tifa couldn't take the shrill voices any longer. She brushed her hair out of her face, tilted her head back, and elicited a sharp scream.  
"I cannot take these sounds any longer!"

Tifa stormed off to her room in anger, but once she closed the door, she instantly began to sob. Tifa cried for a while, and once she had begun to run out of tissues, she listened to the audio clues around her.  
A car was cranking up and leaving the driveway. Tifa assumed that it meant Yuffie and Reno had already left. The oven let out a faint 'ding!'. Aeris must have found her recipe after all. 'The only thing left now is Sephiroth', Tifa thought. As if on cue, Sephiroth flew in through the wall.

"How are you doing?"  
"Good. I just had a moment."  
"I'm worried about you, Tifa. I don't want to leave without knowing that you're okay."  
"It's alright. Aeris will take care of me just fine."  
"That's good. I'm really looking forward to getting my own personality back."  
"Well, that's nice. 'Bye, Seph."  
"Goodbye. Oh, and Tifa…"  
"Yes?"  
"Cloud's calling."  
"Oh. Thanks."

* * *

"Cloud, I just want to say I'm sorry. I was just confused, or misunderstood, or…something."  
"Okay. Apology accepted."  
"So…"  
"Tifa, do you want to take an afternoon to just go to the movies, maybe tomorrow?"  
"Sure. That would be nice. I just…"  
"You just what?"  
"Everyone will think that you're still the old Cloud."  
"You know the truth. That's all that matters."

Unknown to Cloud, Tifa softly kissed the speaker of her cellphone. It was the last image that Sephiroth saw before he drifted back into the afterlife.


	25. Ghostwriter Gainsborough

Note: Sorry for not posting in almost two months. My interest in fanfiction was started to fade a bit, but it's coming back to me now.

Congratulations to Amadeus Finch for answering the quiz question. The answer was: 'Acid Queen'.

**The quiz question for this chapter is**: What is the name of the Flyleaf CD that is coming out next month?

**Your prize: **You can choose what Tifa will start doing for a living. Will she go back into 'film-making'? Will she start a new bar? Or will she have an all-together new job? (Yes, something major happens in this chapter.)

**Chapter 25- Ghostwriter Gainsborough**

I'm remarkably sorry, folks. There is no poem for this chapter, mostly because Tifa Marie Lockheart's pen is still sitting precariously tilted in its inkwell, much the same as its owner, who is a sinner in the hands of a comfy couch. So therefore, it stands to reason that I, Aeris Gainsborough, am her ghostwriter. When Tifa reads this, she's going to be so proud! Trust me, she desperately wants to write, but can't. Why not? I'll tell you…

…But not before I tell a completely unrelated story first. (It is becoming quite apparent that Kurt Vonnegut has been my muse of late, and that I may wish to bear tendencies lining up closer to his fictional counterpart, Kilgore Trout. Let's hope it inspires Tifa!

You see, a grand performance is beginning to commence. It is not a concert, nor is it a play, a film, a musical, a Brazilian gay pride parade, or a fat comedian eating beer nuts.

No, this performance is a New Orleans-style funeral procession.

At the head of the parade is a rich white policeman on a motorbike. This policeman is either 30 or 70 years of age, and the hair has nothing to do with that discrepancy of assurance. He's on socialized healthcare, and loves every putrid minute of it.  
After him is a conductor of trumpeters: Mr. Victorian Era Buildingson. He shall remain unnamed. The entity in the casket has been sick for quite a while, but no one knew that its time would come so soon.

As the procession crosses Fifth Street, Fox's original sci-fi drama 'Dollhouse' springs to life, shouting, "I'm not dead!" It then closes its eyes, falls back into the casket, and the procession continues.

I wonder if Tifa has any French fries.

Fin.

* * *

Okay, okay. I'll spill the details. According to what Tifa told me, yesterday's date with Cloud was spectacular. They both dressed casual, but the movie, 'A posthumous Ingmar Bergman film that is really just a cow eating grass and was actually produced by Gore Verbinski, but you know he would have done something like this eventually', was really good.  
Movie critics had given it the thumbs up, but it did not actually feature the grass-eating cow at any point in the picture. Because of this detail alone, it will be instantly panned as just another awful sequel. Of course, whether it is a sequel to 'The Seventh Seal' or 'Persona' is up for personal opinion.  
Drew Barrymore was pregnant for most of the film's production, so maybe she was the cow.

Afterwards, the two former lovers shared a meal at the Pizza Pit. To hear Tifa talk about it, the place must be highly original. They don't actually have a pit, but their ovens are mighty powerful. So much so, in fact, that the pizza was cooked in only five minutes. The only drawback is that they give you one breadstick per person rather than a whole basketful.  
Tifa said she'd rather have salad, but Cloud saw through that feminine excuse. They shared a medium pizza, which was really what Tifa wanted in the first place.  
Though she swore she wasn't going to be a pig on their first real date together again, Cloud made it clear that it was only fair for Tifa to eat her share of four slices, since he himself had already eaten the other four.

But the best part of the date was afterwards. Tifa laid her head on Cloud's shoulder and began to cry slowly. Cloud did exactly what he should have done, given the circumstances: Nothing.  
For Tifa, he would have willed his whole body to be a shoulder worthy of crying on.  
They didn't talk. They both knew what the two main issues between them were.

A squirrel skittered across the pavement. He was headed down to Georgia. Neither Tifa nor Cloud knew what 'Georgia' was, but were sure that they'd heard the phrase before in a feminist folk song, possibly by the Indigo Girls. 'All good squirrels go down to Georgia.', thought a Pizza Pit employee as he began his smoke break.  
(It's scary how I knew that!)

Of course, all good things came to an end.

On the way home, the pair of lovers stopped at the Edge Shopping Center. (I didn't put the 'ex' in front of 'lovers' this time. I'm hopeful.)  
Cloud bought Tifa a copy of World Of Warcraft, for which I'm eternally grateful. (Not!!!)

As of now, Tifa is still playing that game. I've confronted her about it, but she won't listen! Tifa started playing at 8:00 o'clock in the morning. It is now 7:00 o'clock at night. She's still playing. I don't even know if she's eaten anything. I'd really like for her to write the novel that she's been hoping to complete, so that I can finally go back to the Lifestream and see Zack again. I miss him.

At least now, I don't have to go without communication between us. Oddly enough, Sephiroth left me a gift when he left. I've messed around with it a little bit, and I love it already. Thanckx, Seph! I never thought I'd say that.

I hear someone pulling into the driveway, so I'll have to stop there. You never know who might be able to see a spirit like me.

* * *

Reno wasn't in the greatest mood when he walked into the Seventh Heaven Bar, but Tifa didn't notice.  
"Playing a silly game, I see. You know, I tried calling you this morning. No answer. I called at lunch. No answer. I called at 3, I called at 6. No answers. What could you be spending all those hours doing?"  
"I'm trying to play a game. I have to be a master at this, because Cloud gave it to me."  
"Oh. Cloud did this?"  
"Yep."  
"I see."

Reno was visibly fidgety, and went behind the bar to pour himself a drink.  
"Reno, what are you doing?"  
"I'm thirsty, but will the bartender do her job? Nooo…she's playing a game. Why is she playing a game? Because she has no customers. You're a work of art, you know that?"  
"It's not my fault if I don't have customers. It's a bad economy."  
"Or a psycho barmaid…do you realize that as of today, the only income that the Seventh Heaven Bar is making comes from the Neo-ShinRa Economic Rebuilding Grant? You don't turn much of a profit? Shin-Ra helps you. You don't turn any profit? Shin-Ra tears you down."  
"I have customers. Just 'cause you're not here to see them…"  
"You also have plenty of expenses. It's not easy to keep plenty of drinks in stock."  
"Why are you so upset?"  
"First, you point a gun at my head, then you go out with Cloud, and now you won't return my calls. The motto of the Turks fits well: 'Payback is a bitch'."  
"Reno…the drink…you have to pay for it."  
"I'll pay for it if you wear a French maid's outfit."  
"In your dreams. You're not the friend that I thought you were."  
"Alright, then. I'll see you tomorrow."  
"We'll see about that. And you still haven't paid for your drink!"  
"Girl, that will soon become the least of your worries."

* * *

Soon after Reno left, Tifa played all of her phone messages that she had previously ignored.

"Tifa, this is Yuffie. I overheard Cloud telling Vincent that he bought you World of Warcraft. Can I borrow it sometime? I'd really like to play. Bye."

"This is Rico Gunsalvo. I just wanted to let you know that Don Corneo was fired recently. Since Shocker Productions is under new management, would you be interested in returning? You've been nominated for best newcomer of the year at the Adult Film Awards, and an answer of 'yes' would be a great way to celebrate. The awards are in a week, and they're in the big amphitheater at 9:00 p.m. Dress sexy. See you then."

"Guess who? It's your favorite friend, Blackbird. My baby is coming along fine. I'm a few months along, and I'm really starting to show. I was thinkin' t' myself, 'Mayhap I call an old bugger?' So I 'ave. Oh, 'n by a way, I've spirited off to jolly London. I'm lookin' for my old Pop. I jus' know he'll be a rosy-cheeked robin for how I look now. I triple-dip-dare DSS to fetch me out. I've been doin' some snap 'tography, and you can keep dibs on my trek at . Good eve."

* * *

The following morning displayed the evidence that the night could only hint at. In the mail, there was a note of foreclosure. Reno had shut down the Seventh Heaven.

Tifa's first reaction was to look at all of the drinks sitting behind the bar: Drinks that would never be sold again. No need for them to go to waste. Tifa downed a tall glass full of white wine, then joined Aeris in the new 'game' that had been given to her. Of course, at the time, Tifa wasn't aware that it was more than just a game.


	26. Leonard Cohen Afterworld

* * *

Note: This chapter has a lot of musical references and influences, including Nirvana, Tom Waits, and The Beatles. I really tried to make it seem as if the characters were actually living the songs, since I didn't want to simply display the real lyrics on the page. But at the same time, I wanted to reinforce the idea that they're still just characters in a game. (By making Nomura responsible for all of this.)

Congratulations to Dante Brookman for answering the previous question correctly. The answer was 'Memento Mori'.

**This chapter's question is: **How did Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love first meet? (Hint: it was at a concert, but who was playing?)

**This chapter's reward is: **Will Tifa's self-medicating 'pennyroyal tea treatment' work?

**Chapter 26- Leonard Cohen Afterworld**

Impossible- A poem by Tifa Marie Lockheart

This is impossible;  
couldn't happen  
to me, could it?  
Thought it was taken  
from me, and  
now it arrives again  
in bows and thorns  
without their roseheads.  
And if I have to stop  
the flow,  
it's on my terms…  
…Herbally.

* * *

"Let it be."

Tetsuya Nomura had finished reading over his plans and scripts just before he had uttered that phrase.  
His studious assistant, Mr. Ikawa, queried "Why is this all necessary? To see her limits?"  
"What is done, however real it may be, can be undone in the final cut. Program it in."  
"Okay, sir."  
Mr. Ikawa quickly scribbled down a note on a piece of paper:  
"Program the Miracle/Tragedy subroutine."

When the meeting had reached its conclusion, various members of the programming team began placing bets in the newest company pool:  
'The Tifa survival bet'.

Only Nomura would know the answer to that question. All the more reason why he jangled around some loose change in his pockets, felt the distinct touch of paper money, but did not remove it from his pants.

The first thing that Cloud noticed when he looked out the window of his temporary residence was a swift glimpse of a yellow moon breaking through the unusually misty nighttime air.  
His heart was soft, and a smart man could not afford to wake the landlady of his apartment complex by walking through front doors.

So he jumped through the window.  
Good old Cloud always lands on his feet…  
…and then rolls around in the dust a bit.  
The moon's gleam hit his face like a spotlight. It was really doing wonders for his skin.

His destination was the local train station.  
More people were using the trains as of late, mostly due to the threat of terrorism on buses and subways.  
The trip was purely for the jogging of a few memories through his mind.  


* * *

"Aeris, it can't be right."  
"But it is. It's showing the plus sign."  
"We both know that's not possible for me. Hell, I don't even have the parts anymore!"  
"Beats me. Maybe it's a miracle."  
"Heh…some miracle. Are you done packing?"  
"I'm a spirit. I don't have to pack."  
"Good point."  
"Tifa, where are we headed to?"  
"I don't know. Maybe if things work out better, I can move in with Cloud."  
"Don't forget about Barret, or Vince and Yuffie."  
"Yeah. I think I'm going to stay at a hotel for now. It shouldn't take me too long to find a place."

Tifa picked up her suitcase and started to walk out the door. However, she thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye.

"Aeris, I thought you said you weren't packing anything."

Her ghastly specter was clutching an old box, which looked as if it were the container of a board game.

"Just this one thing. It looks like you're struggling a bit with your suitcase. What's in it?"  
"Don't worry about me."

When Tifa left the Seventh Heaven bar for the final time, she turned around. All of the future memories in that building…gone.  
And it's all Reno's fault.  


* * *

Cloud had experienced something special during his most recent date with Tifa Marie Lockheart:  
the realization that she only wants a friend right now.  
But of course, Cloud tends to get a bit fidgety every now and then.

At the train station, he passes right by the ticket counter. He's not going anywhere. He's just looking around…for a memory…for a future…for a girl.

There are plenty of those around here. Cloud's memories flood his subconscious with images of him and Tifa, holding each other's hands on the 52 to Kalm…of jumping on the top of a train when he was trying to shake off the Shin-Ra.  
And of course, there are plenty of women in the station, all looking for a future. They're all looking for better jobs in Mideel and Kalm, trying to break out of their boring lives.

Some of the women are beautiful, others are of a more professional business type. But Cloud can see the one denominating factor in their eyes:  
They're rushing around, uncaring.  
Where once the men of Midgar left in droves to join Soldier, now the ladies are having their day; their train.

There was one in particular that Cloud remembered from long ago: Skye Andrews. She was a tall girl, easily six feet. She was carrying 21 years of thin, tan, and sultry inside that Cream-Colored-Miniskirt-Existence-In-A-Can. Her story is someone else's, reprinted. The stolen ink falls heavy from her mouth, symbolically, as she talks to her friends.

Cloud did approach her, but as he lifted his hand and said 'Hi.', they all scattered like crows.  
Marking Skye off of his mental black book, he felt a sudden urge for something special; something Tifa. She had become a verb to him…love in its advanced stages.

In his heart, he secretly wished that Tifa would visit the train station tonight. Cloud wished that he could just turn around and see her there, right there in the middle of his path; middle of his gaze. After the events that had occurred the previous night, Cloud knew that Tifa had been holding back. It wasn't because she had to be careful about things, with her faulty equipment and all. Actually, Cloud couldn't figure out what her problem was, but it was clear that there was still a bit left in her that she had not surrendered. Now, there was only one thing that Cloud craved in this moment:

The leftovers of Tifa's sex.

* * *

Cloud almost missed her. He was looking down at the precise time when Tifa Lockheart walked by him. She was attired in the tiny blue dress that Cloud loved so much. The reason why he preferred that dress above all others is simple: it showcased Tifa's supple curves.  
It was also the color of Aeris' eyes.

The moment that Cloud had wished for was actually happening!  
He gathered up all the strength and courage that he could muster, and he walked toward Tifa. However, she didn't notice him.  
Cloud sunk his head into his hands as Tifa kept walking, and she boarded the train to Kalm.

He was reminded of the advice that Tifa had given him only days before.

At the time, Tifa and Cloud were locked in a fierce wave of passion. The only light that was left on in the whole house was a small lamp beside Cloud's bed. There was a pile of clothes left on the floor in the corner of the bedroom.  
Tifa was sitting on top of Cloud when she breathlessly stated,

"Everyone thinks I'm crazy."  
"In the head?"  
"No. For taking you back."  
"Are you worried about what they think?"  
"Cloud, I want to keep seeing you again, but for now…  
…you've got to hide your love away."

* * *

As Tifa looked out the window of the train, she finally spotted Cloud. He appeared to be rather sad. Tifa had no idea of why he would be at the train station, but when Cloud finally looked up and caught her gaze again, Tifa winked at him, and gave an enthusiastic wave.  
She rolled down her window and yelled,  
"Cloud, I'm coming back with an award!"  
"Are you coming back tonight? Will I see you on the downtown train?"

The train was beginning to leave. Tifa knew that if she was going to tell Cloud, this would be the time to do it.

As far as Cloud could see, Tifa appeared to be scribbling a message on…something.

"Cloud! Come here!"

Cloud jumped at the call, running toward the train as it was beginning to pull away.  
One of the station workers tried to grab him by the arm, saying, "What do you think you're doing? The train's leaving now!"  
The worker couldn't hold Cloud back. He burst past the gate, and ran up to Tifa's window.

The train began to move, and Cloud started a steady jogging pace to keep up.  
"What is it, Tifa?"

Tifa down at him and said, "Here! Catch!"

Tifa tossed a beer bottle at Cloud, which he caught with one hand.  
There was a short message in the bottle, which read,  
"I'm pregnant!"

Tifa put the window back down, and as the train pulled out of the station, Cloud smiled.

* * *

Upon her arrival in Kalm, Tifa Lockheart was escorted the Grand Amphitheater, where she made an eye-catching appearance, and then waltzed up to the tinted-window luxury box that was currently being occupied by Shin-Ra.

From the moment that she walked in, Tifa could smell the unmistakable scent of marijuana.  
Rufus was the first to make a statement following her arrival.

"Well, heh, what have we here? I see that everyone's favorite actress knows where the party's at."

Rude let out an uncharacteristic chuckle as he instructed, "Reno, do your Lennon impersonation."

Reno wobbled on shaky legs in Tifa's direction singing, "…Ahhh, because Tifa is round, she turns me on…ahh, because her dress is tight, it blows my mind…ahhh, because she's so f***** up, she makes me cry."

"Yeah, great to see you too, Reno."  
Tifa tried to keep a happy face.

Reno continued to talk, but in his singsong voice.  
"I have a proposal, I have a proposal!  
It's one that I'm sure you'll like.  
We can guarantee you a win,  
if you promise to ride my bike!"

The three Shin-Ra members laughed as Tifa's brow furrowed into a state of unbelief.

"No. I won't mess with the results like that. Besides, I don't want trophies. I want the Seventh Heaven back!"

"Technically, Tifa, you never lost it. It's not going to get bulldozed, or anything. The local government will take care of the building very well."

"Yes," Rufus interrupted, holding a professional-looking piece of paper in his hand.  
"Proposal 16541a, to be voted on one week from today: The government of Gaia, assisted by the local leadership of Edge, in an attempt to resuscitate the falling social significance of the Seventh Heaven Bar, will take over said Bar ------*, so that a profit can be made for a steady cycle of business months. Upon the making of such a profit, ownership will be transferred back to Tifa Lockheart, under the watchful eye of Shin-Ra."

"It's a bit much for a bar, isn't it? Governments don't usually interfere in the affairs of businesses. Everyone will know that I cut a deal with Shin-Ra because I'm their puppet."

"Exactly. Everyone will know that you are loyal to the local government. More brownie points for you."

"Not exactly. You don't have a great approval rating where I'm from."

"Point taken. Anyway, if you'll just sign your name to this document, then it can officially be put forth to the local authorities for a vote."

"Who are you going to send to run the place?"

"That's easy. Reno would be happy to run it."

"Wow. I don't know."

"If you do it, we'll get your poems published by the largest publication company in all of Gaia."

"You've got a deal!"

Tifa signed the document swiftly. After Tifa had lifted her hand from the page, Rufus announced:

"So the asterisk clause comes into play."  
"What are you talking about? I didn't see any asterisk in that deal!"  
"That line of dashes...those are words."  
"….in any way they see fit*… oh my god…I take that back!"  
"You can't. It's a legally binding signature, with all the proper witnesses. Now, let's visit Proposal 16541b, shall we?  
And it states, "…As per the date of the signing of Proposal 16541a, Shin-Ra requests that the usage of the Seventh Heaven Bar be modified so that it can be classified as an extreme Adult Club."

"No…this can't be happening!"

In an attempt to calm Tifa down, the ghostly spirit of Aeris whirled up behind her and whispered, "It still has to pass through the voting process. Don't worry yet."

Tifa calmed herself down and asked, "I don't suppose there's anyway that we can forget about all of this?"

Rufus replied, "No. A deal is a deal. Sorry. Quite frankly, you don't have anything good to offer."  
"I have myself."  
Reno quickly chimed in, "Been there, done that. Rode the ride, bought the hat."  
"Oh."  
"Tifa, let's watch the awards, shall we?"  
"But what if I win one? I need to be down there, on the ground level."  
"No. This is a two-day event. Day one covers all of the lame awards, and you're better than that. You're a Day two girl."  
"Oh…crap! I forgot, I was supposed to meet up with Rico!"  
"Well, we're done here. Feel free to spend the night with us, if you dare."

* * *

The table for Shocker Productions was on the ground level, but it was front row and center for all of the night's action. The awards ceremony had not begun yet, but some of the more memorable scenes in the world of adult film were being played on the big screen, amidst a room of near-darkness.

Tifa courteously whispered, "Rico. What did you need to tell me?"  
"Would you be interested in returning?"  
"Sure. I just lost my other job, so I have to make money somehow."  
"Okay. Stick around tomorrow morning for the Adult Film Expo. If you come by the Shocker booth, I can pencil you in for autographs and a performance after lunch time."  
"Sure! I'll be there. Anything in particular that you want me to wear?"  
"You're asking the wrong person."  
Tifa understood what Rico meant when she glimpsed the bulge in his pants from out of the corner of her eye.

"Tifa…"  
"Yes, Rico?"  
"Are you okay? You look pale, and you're sweating."  
"I'll be fine."

Tifa almost stumbled on her way back to Shin-Ra's luxury box.  


* * *

Knock…knock…knock.

Yuffie answered the door.

"Cloud! What are you doing here so late in the night?"  
"I need to talk with Vincent."  
"Okay. Hey, Vince!"  
"I'm coming!"

Cloud and Vincent stood out on the porch and talked about life, love…Tifa, mostly.

"Vincent…you know I've changed, right?"  
"You're visibly different. I saw the bad Mako drained out of you."  
"Yes, but…do you think…that it would still be okay to hook up with Tifa again?"  
"Hmm. I don't see why not. If anybody says anything, it will probably be the girls."  
"I know they'll talk."  
"It won't matter."

Yuffie ventured out onto the porch in her nightie.  
"I made tea."  
"Thanks, honey."  
"Thanks, Yuffie."  
"You're both welcome."

Cloud queried, "Yuffie, what do you think about me and Tifa getting back together?"

Yuffie sighed painfully and replied, "You two can do whatever you want. But this is not just an issue about us. Everyone in Edge knows that you were a wife beater. In public, I think you should hide your love away."  
"That's what Tifa said."

* * *

Reno could hear someone jingle-jangling keys by the door knob.  
He opened the door just a crack to see a very pale Tifa.

"You look like you've just seen a ghost!"  
"I know. I'm sorry. I…oh man…I was using the wrong key, I guess."  
"Are you feeling well?"  
"Don't worry about me. Pass me a joint."  
"We're done. The party's over."  
"Reno, I was only gone for ten minutes!"

Reno shook his head.  
"Tifa, you've been gone for two hours."

"See? I need it worse than I thought. Can you light one for me?"  
"Sure. Rufus and Rude went to the room early. That's why I'm the only one up here. I just had to stick around to see all these new girls, I guess. Did you know that they're giving away almost 100 awards this weekend? They're practically worthless."

"I heard that they dig them out of a box backstage. It's a big box."  
"Yeah."

Tifa walked in, and took a glimpse at the record collection that Shin-Ra had brought with them. Tifa was running low on breath and energy, but she quietly muttered, "…vinyl."  
"Oh, yeah. All of them are Beatles records, though. They belong to Rufus."  
"…*cough*…Play."  
"How about something trippy for the mood? 'I Am The Walrus'? I like 'Octopus' Garden'."  
"No…*cough*…Don't like moods."

"Tifa, are you having trouble breathing?"  
"I'm just bored."  
"Oh. Well, which one do you want to play?"

Tifa thought for a moment as she placed one of Reno's joints up to her mouth.  
"Light me."  
"Okay."

Reno lit the joint. Tifa's eyes fluttered. Reno bent down alongside Tifa and began to look at Rufus' collection. Reno was looking at 'Abbey Road'. Tifa preferred 'Please Please Me'.  
Being the hopeless romantic that he is, Reno glanced over at Tifa and sang,  
"'I want you! I want you so bad! I want you so bad that it's driving me mad, it's driving me mad…'"  
Tifa finished the line, "'She's so heavy'?...*cough*…what the hell?"  
"It meant something different back then…I…It's…sorry. I'm not calling you fat. I'm just…stumbling on my words, apparently."

"Play 'Roll Over, Beethoven'."  
"That's not a weed song."  
"Don't care. Play."

Reno placed the record onto the player, and let the needle hit the vinyl.  
As the music played, Tifa tried to dance, but she mostly looked like a wobbly piece of spaghetti. She wobbled all the way down to the floor in a collapsed heap.

"Tifa! Oh, god!"  
'She's unconscious! But…I can't go to anyone, 'cause we'll be busted. She's already starting to smell like 'grass'.'

Reno laid down next to Tifa and whispered, "Why did I have to give you that joint? I can't get busted, Tifa! And you already smell of the stuff. Please, you have to wake up!"

Reno took her pulse and saw that she was still breathing, but her heart rate was fast.

It was at this lonely moment that something sick and twisted clicked in Reno's head.  
'She's out like a light. The door's locked. No one can see up here.'

Reno removed Tifa's clothing.  
He made love to her, leaving his seed all over her open mouth.  
He went back to his room and told no one, but he did not sleep.

* * *

Tifa awoke from her unconscious state at 2:00 a.m.  
The room was empty, and the lights were out.  
She was still in the luxury box.  
The tight blue dress was hiked up above her thighs, and she felt something sticky in her mouth.

'*cough, cough, cough*…I feel awful. I must have passed out. Damn Reno!'

Tifa still had a high heart rate, but she felt enough energy within her to sustain a walk to the vending machine at the end of the hall.  
It didn't contain anything that Tifa wanted.  
So she went out on the town, in search for something to eat.

The absent nightlife and the bright moon collaborated to give Tifa a feeling of silent lucidity.

She stopped at the closest convenience store and bought a pack of twinkies and a soda.

* * *

"Mr. Nomura…"

"Yes?"

"Tifa has been successfully programmed. You should see her now. She's such a wreck."

"But she is pregnant?..."

"Yes."

"Good. Make sure that the variables remain on the 'Tragedy' branch."

"Sir, how far do you want to degrade her? Are you trying to kill her?!"

"Who's your favorite character?"

"Aeris, but I don't see…"

"Very well. That is all."

"…sir…"

"That is all."

Mr. Ikawa took a few steps towards the door. Once he had exited the room, Tetsuya Nomura made another call.

"Mr. Kuji."

"Yes, sir?"

"Mr. Ikawa is showing his green thumb."

"Oh. I wasn't aware that he had a garden."

"No, not that green thumb! He's trying to stick out."

"So you mean 'sore thumb'. Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"Place Aeris on the same 'Tragedy' branch as Tifa."

"But placing a ghost on the same subroutine as a mortal…could be disastrous!"

"It must be done."

* * *

"So, what's the problem, doctor?"

Tifa looked into the face of the doctor appointed to her by Shocker Productions.

"It's a good thing that Rico brought you in. You're suffering from a case of Anemia."

"What do you mean?"

"It's actually very common in pregnant women. Anemia is when your blood cell count gets low. It results in lack of strength, blurriness of vision, dizzy spells. If not treated properly, it can be fatal."

"What can I do to stop it?"

"There is some medication I can give you to counteract the side effects throughout the course of your pregnancy."

"Thank you, but are you saying that this baby inside of me is what's causing me to be anemic?"

"The real culprit is your eating habits. You're clearly not eating enough for two people. Your baby has to get the nutrients it needs to survive. That doesn't leave hardly any nutrients for you."

'So it's sucking the life from me…like a parasite…'

* * *

"Hello. This is Cloud."

"Cloud, it's me, Tifa…."

"…leave a message at the sound of the beep….BEEP!"

"Oh. Uh, it's me, Tifa. I'm coming home. I got a couple of awards. Best Non-Sexual Scene….Best Actress. I can't believe I got the big one! I couldn't accept it, though. I was at the doctor's. I haven't been feeling well, and I need to come home and 'take care of it'. Shin-Ra's turning Seventh Heaven into a strip joint. And I want to move in with you. Just because I don't have anywhere else to go. See you. Bye."

* * *

Tifa did not enjoy having to come home early. She was enjoying the atmosphere of the Adult Awards Show, and hated to miss the Adult Film Convention afterwards.

"Wow, Tifa! Cloud's apartment looks cooler than I expected!"  
"I'm glad you like it, Aeris. That makes one of us."  
"Why don't you like it?"  
"It's not Seventh Heaven."  
"Oh. Well, I'm going to go play with my new toy that Sephiroth gave to me."  
"You've been screwing around with that toy for two whole days. What game could be that good?"

"Tifa, It's not just a game. It's…more than that. It keeps me company. I really miss my friends a whole lot."  
"Then put the game down and go talk to them."

Aeris stomped off to her room, screaming, "Tifa, you just don't get it!"

'Wow. That's unusual.'

Aeris' eruption was still firmly lodged in Tifa's mind an hour later. With all of its tumblings and meanderings throughout Tifa's subconsciousness, the thought of Aeris' new-found temper was making Tifa sleepy.  
It was her full intention to nod off to an early sleep, but Tifa couldn't help but amble into the next room to see exactly what Aeris was up to.  
There was a bright light coming from the room, and Tifa thought that she could almost hear voices…male voices.

* * *

Cloud had received Tifa's message soon after she had sent it, and he couldn't wait to get home and find Tifa sleeping in his bed. Cloud knew that she liked the bed in his new apartment very much. Tifa had told him so two nights earlier.

But something wasn't right.

The apartment smelled of beer, and the stench was coming from his room.

When Cloud stood in the doorway, he saw Tifa slumped over on the bed.

On each side of Tifa was an empty beer bottle, dry as a whistle. In Tifa's limp right hand was a different bottle.  
'Pennyroyal Tea- Herbal Abortion Remedy  
Warning! Extremely Fatal When Taken In High Doses!'

She was out like a light, and Cloud could do nothing to steady her back into consciousness.


	27. Crossing The Rubicon

Note: I sincerely apologize for leaving everybody hanging for 4 months. In November and December, I was planning to go off to college. January, I started college, and in February I've been getting myself back into the writing mood and working on some new material. I know that I promised some parodies and a collection of one-shot stories to come in the future, but I have decided to scrap that plan in favor of something better: continuing 'Bleeding Heart' for a while, and following it up with a 4th installment of the Heart series. I hope you like this long chapter. There will be more to come very soon, as quick as you readers can answer the quiz questions.

By the way, I don't know if I've ever explained this well before, but if you're wondering why this story's chapters are sometimes written from Tifa's perspective and sometimes in 3rd person, it's because I have to fill in the blanks of what happens whenever Tifa doesn't feel like writing…just thought you'd like to know.

Congratulations to 'theswisswereright' for correctly answering last chapter's quiz question. The answer was 'The Butthole Surfers'.

**Chapter 27 Quiz Question**- (This question should normally be extremely hard, but I do have a reference to this person somewhere in the chapter): In 2003, this famous musician was one of only 20 people in the entire world to gain early acceptance into New York University's Tisch School Of The Arts. Despite this distinction, she would later quit school to focus on her music. Who is this artist?

**Prize Question-**Will ShinRa's plan to turn Seventh Heaven into an adult club receive enough votes to pass?

***Warning- This Chapter Contains Sexual Content***

Chapter 27- Crossing The Rubicon

When Tifa awoke from her drunken stupor, she instantly noticed the bottles laying around her, as well as the Cloud laying beside her in bed.

"Whoa…Cloud, what happened?"  
"You've been drinking. One of the bottles was poison."  
"Say WHAT!?"  
"It's true."

Tifa looked down at the one bottle in particular that was labeled 'Pennyroyal Tea'. She sat up in bed, shocked at what she'd done.  
"No! Oh my god, no! Cloud, you have to believe me, I never meant to take this! I swear it!"  
"Then why did you buy it?"  
"Okay, so I was thinking about using it, but I didn't want to, honest! It's that awful…god, that horrible sight in Aeris' room!"  
"Tifa, what are you talking about? Aeris has been dead for years."

The alcohol in Tifa's system was making her confused, releasing from her mind the idea that only she could see the young flower girl.

"She's not dead, Cloud! Go! Go into the next room and see for yourself. Go see your dirty devil!"  
"Tifa, I know you're not quite yourself right now, but that doesn't give you the right to call people names. Say you're sorry."  
"To who? You?"  
"To Aeris."  
"Well, if she's supposed to be dead, then I guess she couldn't hear me anyway."  
"She can hear your spirit from beyond."

A look of surprised shock filled Tifa's eyes.

"Wow! Cloud, I had no idea you were so spiritual."  
"Only when it comes to her. Sometimes, when I'm driving my motorcycle, I'll just get randomly warped into her world of white, and it's really trippy."  
"You know, you didn't have to admit that."  
"I know. But seriously, tell Aeris that you're sorry."  
"Damn, alright. Aeris, I'm sorry for calling you a dirty devil."

From the next room, Aeris commented, "I forgive you."

Cloud's jaw instantly hit the floor.

"What was that?!"  
"Wait. You can hear that?!"  
"Yes, I thought I heard Aeris' voice."  
"See! I told you! Just go in there and see what your wicked witch is doing!"  
Cloud was much less inclined to correct Tifa this time.  
However, when Cloud entered the room, Aeris was all alone, sitting on her bed and reading a book.

"Tifa, she isn't doing anything."  
"Oh. Sorry."

Cloud hesitated to approach Aeris, but she seductively giggled and called him, "Yes, silly! I'm real. Touch me!"  
Cloud walked up to the bed, placing his hand on Aeris' soft face.  
He leapt backwards when he touched her warm skin.  
"Oh my god! Oh my fuckin' god! You're alive!"  
"Cloud, calm down. I have some explaining to do. I'm not really alive. I'm a ghost-like muse sent to Tifa to help with her writing."  
"You seem different."  
"I am. I've adapted Tifa's personality over mine for the duration of my visit."  
"How long are you staying?"  
"Until Tifa gets her book written."

Cloud looked back at Tifa, who was just beginning to fully wake up.  
"How far are you with that book?"  
" Just a few pages. There's tons more to work through."  
"That's good."

After a moment of awkward silence and staring at Aeris, Tifa sarcastically exclaimed, "Well, this is great. I guess I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. But if you're going to fuck each other, at least warn me so I can put in some earplugs or something."  
After unleashing her verbal jab at the two of them, Tifa stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.  
"Uh, Aeris, I really need to take care of this."  
"Okay. I'll be waiting."

When Cloud exited the room, he witnessed Tifa making eyes at one of his flowerpots on a hallway table. Inside was a bouquet of lillies, plucked from Aeris' chapel. Tifa picked up the flowerpot and was about to heave it across the room when Cloud grabbed it out of her hand.  
"Whoa! Hey, wait a minute! There's no need to throw a temper. Why are you so angry?"

When Tifa turned around, Cloud saw that her face was blushing red with anger, but also that she was beginning to cry.  
"Because you've always loved her more than me. And now that she's here again, you're going to cuddle and kiss and fuck her brains out, and you'll be stopping me from writing so that she stays here forever!"

There was one special characteristic that Cloud had in dealing with women: he knew when to step in and stop being Mr. Nice Guy. Cloud's look changed to one of serious concern as he scolded,  
"Tifa, you're acting like a spoiled baby! I really hate to say it, but you are. Tifa, this is not you! Tifa is a woman…an adult woman whom I still love very much. Now do you promise to start acting more grown-up?"  
*sniff* "Yes. I promise."  
"Good. Now come give me a hug."  
"No."  
"Tifa, don't be difficult."

Cloud made the horrific mistake of trying to reach out and grab Tifa on his own initiative. As he placed his arms around her in a warm embrace, Tifa tried to wriggle out of his grasp.  
"Stop touching me!"  
After a few seconds, however, Tifa began to stop struggling.  
"Tifa, why would you struggle with me? I love you."  
"Hah!"  
"What?"  
"You don't even remember what happened last time you were married to me, do you?"  
"No. Like I've told you, a Mako drain is as good as a short-term memory drain."  
"Well, if you remembered, you'd know why I don't like being touched."  
"It seems like you're okay with it now."  
"Cloud, pardon my french, but you're a damn fool."  
"Then enlighten me."  
*sigh* "Alright. You told me that you hated me. You said that you hit me because you hated me."  
"I hit you? Tifa, I'm so sorry!"  
"You have a lot to be sorry for."

When Cloud loosed his grasp slightly, Tifa turned around and saw that Cloud was starting to cry as well. She had never seen Cloud cry before in her entire life, at least not openly.  
"Tifa, please, will you tell me all that I did to you?"  
"I can't. *sniff* I can't…go there again. C-Cloud, you…you b-br-…you broke my heart!"  
Tifa began to sob, but not before Cloud released her totally from his grasp and headed toward his bedroom.  
"Where are you going?! Get back here, Cloud!"

Cloud emerged from the room very quickly, carrying a small box of band-aids. He opened the box, released one from its packaging, and placed the band-aid on Tifa's breast, just to the right of the cleavage that was peeking out through her V-Neck shirt.  
As soon as Cloud had placed it there, Tifa leaped into his arms, hugging Cloud as hard as she could. They both sobbed uncontrollably, together.

* * *

When the waterworks in Cloud and Tifa's eyes had stopped, Cloud queried, "Why were you drinking so much earlier? You should be trying to protect the baby!"  
"I know, and I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me. I think I vaguely remember a voice talking to me in my head."

Suddenly, the memory came back to Tifa.

"It was Aeris! I know it was her, and her evil little game! You know, I hear voices in her room at night…male voices. She's in it deep, Cloud! I've played that game before, and nothing good can come of it."  
"Nonsense, Tifa."  
"You don't believe me?"  
"I tell you what. You can stay here at my place for a while so I can keep watch over Aeris, and test your claims. The apartment is close by to your bar, so that won't be a problem."  
"It's not my bar anymore. It's ShinRa's bar now. Rufus tricked me into selling it."  
"Are you serious?"  
"Yes. Tomorrow, the city council is voting on whether or not to turn it into a strip club."  
"Oh man! If the vote doesn't pass, then what?"  
"They'll probably let me have it back. I guess they'd try to make their own club from scratch in the city limits."  
"Well, here's hoping that Tifa gets her bar back."  
"You and me both."  
"But no drinking. In fact, I'm going to help you run the bar, so that you won't be left alone."  
"Cloud, do you think I'm addicted? Because I promise I'm not. It was just a one time thing! Okay, maybe twice, but I promise that it doesn't control me."  
"I believe you. I'll take care of you."  
"What about your delivery route?"  
"I've been training Denzel to run it whenever I'm gone."  
"And about your training?"  
"Fuck training."  
"That's what I like to hear. You know, I have my first appointment with the doctor tomorrow. I would appreciate it if you came with me."  
"I'll be there. I hope the baby is okay, after that Pennyroyal Tea you drank."  
"Do I look like I'm having an abortion right now?"  
"No. You look fine. More than fine, you look positively sexy!"  
"Ooh!"  
"You know, I don't think I've ever told you this, but I have a secret fantasy about you."  
"Let me guess…pool of Jell-O?"  
"Heh, no."  
"Covered in chocolate?"  
"No. That's yours."  
"Darn! You know me so well! Uh, does it involve a special outfit, or props?"  
"No."  
"Then what is it?"  
"Tifa? Let's just say that I have a secret obsession for busty pregnant martial artists."  
"Yeah, baby!"

Cloud carried Tifa back to his bed, and then he locked the door.

* * *

Needless to say, the scene was making Aeris 'fidgety' as well. The sound of Tifa's moaning and Cloud's bed creaking and bouncing made her long for her own lost friend.  
Aeris knew that she had become obsessed with the new game which Sephiroth had given her. She was too proud to deny it.

* * *

When Cloud and Tifa had finished making rough love, Cloud walked into the room that Aeris was occupying. Aeris perked up in attention upon noticing that Cloud wasn't wearing a shirt.  
"Cloud, I guess it must be time to drink."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Because the six-pack is here."

Cloud looked down at his muscular body and realized what Aeris was talking about.  
"Oh! I see."

Cloud noticed that Aeris was playing with an old board game. He sat down beside her on the bed.  
"What's this game?"  
"It's not a game."  
"Oh. Can I say something? And I hope you don't get mad for me saying it…"  
"What?"  
"You're different with Tifa's personality. I kind of like the old Aeris better."

Aeris hung her head down and muttered, "That's what I thought you'd say."  
Cloud placed his hand on Aeris' shoulder and replied, "Aeris, don't feel so down. I've been there, and trust me, no one wants to be around someone who's depressed all the time."  
"Thanks. I'll remember that."

"So, if this isn't a game, then what is it?"  
"It's called a Ouija Board. It lets me talk to the people in the Lifestream."  
"Sounds interesting. How do you do it?"  
"Well, you kind of get in a state of meditation and make your request to someone in the Lifestream, and they magically move the eyeglass thing there to spell out a message from beyond."  
"How can I dead person move something? I'm not convinced."

Aeris grinned and replied, "You'll see."  
She crossed her legs and closed her eyes, attempting to become one with her inner Cetra. Cloud interrupted, "Does it work just because you're a Cetra, or can anyone do it?"  
"Anyone in the world can do it, if their spirit is strong enough."  
"Wow."

Once Aeris had found her center, she chanted, "Spirit, I call from far beyond. Speak to me as I make this bond. Zack Fair, I summon you today. Tell me what you wish to say."

Cloud watched in amazement as the eyeglass began to move.  
"Holy crap! It's moving! Oh my god, the piece is moving!"  
Out of the corner of his eye, Cloud could see Tifa in the doorway, wearing a bra and panties. She was much more calm now concerning the Board. She simply grinned at Cloud and exclaimed, "I warned you!"

Aeris quickly wrote down the long string of letters onto a piece of paper. It seemed to go on forever, but when the eyeglass stopped moving, Aeris showed the message to Cloud. It said, "Cloud Strife, get your hand off of my woman."

Cloud Strife jumped off the bed and ran to Tifa at the doorway.  
"Oh my…god! How does it know?"  
"They see us: the dead."  
"Okay, that was too creepy, especially for you. I think you need to put that game away for now."  
"No! There's one more person who wants to talk to you."  
"Holy shit, what are you talking about?!"

Aeris got into the stance again and chanted, "Spirit, I call from far beyond. Speak to me as I make this bond. Kadaj, I summon you today. Tell me what you wish to say."  
"Oh no! Aeris, not Kadaj!"  
Tifa giggled as she saw Cloud sweating and freaking out, glad that it wasn't her being shocked for once.

When the piece stopped, the message read, "I'm sorry, brother. Can you forgive me?"

Cloud calmed down and replied, "Okay, uh…Aeris, can you talk back to them?"  
"I can try sending a message telepathically. I can't guarantee it will work, but I can try."  
"Tell him that the apology is accepted. Tifa, I need to get out of this room, please."

Tifa continued giggling as Cloud dashed out of the room in shock.  
"I told you, Cloud! The girl is a freakin' witch now."  
"I'm not a witch."  
"Aeris, you talk with the dead. You're a witch."  
"Oh really? Maybe you'd like to try, and then you'll see."  
"See what?"  
"You're not a witch, are you?"  
"No."  
"Then that means that if you can do it, than the action itself doesn't make people witches."  
"Okay. Let me try."

Tifa climbed on the bed, and got into a cross-legged position. After Tifa had closed her eyes, Aeris picked up the board and slapped Tifa across the face with it.  
"Hey! What was that for?"  
"For calling me a witch."  
"At least I didn't say what I should have said!"  
"Oh yeah? What's that?"  
"That you're a bitch!"  
"Oh hell no! You just didn't!..."  
"Hey! HEY! CUT IT OUT, YOU TWO!"

Cloud appeared back in the room and separated the two bickering women from tearing each other's heads off. Once they had cooled down a bit, Cloud asked, "Okay, we can talk this over like civilized people over dinner. Speaking of which, what do you want to eat?"  
Tifa replied first, "I want chicken."  
Aeris answerd, "I want pizza."  
"Well, you two are going to have to compromise. I'm fixing pizza with chicken on top of it. I don't know what's gotten into you two, but you need to stop. Both of you get like this anytime I'm involved, and it needs to come to a stop, now!"

* * *

After dinner had been fixed and everyone had been seated at the table, Tifa was the first to speak up.  
"Cloud?"  
"Yes, dear?"  
"Oh, I love it when you call me that!"  
Aeris snidely commented, "You know, he used to call me that too."  
"Don't interrupt", Tifa replied, "Besides, you have Zack. Anyway, Cloud, like I was saying before, I don't understand why you chose to fix pizza tonight."  
"It has chicken on it. You got your wish."  
"Well, sort of. I mean, it does have chicken on it, but…"  
"What's the point?"  
"What I really meant to say, 'specifically', I might add, is that I wanted fried chicken."  
"I didn't have any fried chicken."  
"You could have gone out and bought some."  
"Tifa, why even make an issue of it?"  
"Because I don't see why I have to give into Aeris' wishes when she's the one who keeps me up at night with her incantations, constantly chanting, 'I call' this and 'I call' that."

Aeris dropped her fork onto her plate, making a loud clanging noise. "Allow me to say this as politely as I can: To borrow a quote from Z-Man Barzell in 'Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls', Maybe I wouldn't have to be here, if you would 'getteth thine ass in gear' and write something!"  
"Well, now! Cloud, the fair mistress makes references to obscure X-Rated porno films! Where is the soap? Someone needs to wash out her cold-sore infested mouth!"  
"Oh really? And I'm sure that someone could do something about it if that someone wasn't a knocked-up, promiscuous little whore!"

"GIRLS, STOP IT!"

Cloud began to giggle, and then started hysterically laughing.

Simultaneously, Tifa and Aeris questioned, "What's so funny?!"  
"Nothing, heh. Hah! Oh…it's just that both of you are acting so out of character right now."  
Tifa leaned over and whispered, "Cloud, that wasn't in the script."

An off-camera stage person walked onto the set, and handed Cloud a copy of the script. He then turned to the camera and addressed the audience, "Readers, you didn't see anything."

After reading his line in the script, Cloud continued, "Oh! I mean…Can't you two see that the only reason you're both fighting is because you're a mental copy of the other one?...  
…that was better, right? That sounded good?"  
"Cloud, the script."  
"Oh yes. Cloud stares at the camera blankly. Wait…oh shit, I wasn't supposed to say that, was I?"

Tifa and Aeris both stood up from the table and went into the next room. Cloud simply stared blankly into the distance, finally utterering, "This chapter will never be released."

* * *

Later, when the sky grew darker and Tifa had already gone on to sleep, Cloud began to hear noises in Aeris' room. At first, he didn't think much of it, so he climbed into bed with Tifa. At about midnight, Tifa woke up and started hearing the sounds as well. She tapped Cloud on the shoulder, asking him to 'go take care of it', but he was sound asleep. Tifa laid her head back down and rested as well. Cloud re-awoke at about 1 in the morning, and the sound was still going on, but even louder this time. He heard cries of, "Oh, Zachary!" and "Mr. Fair, behave!" The sound dissipated for a few minutes before he heard the most awful racket of hands and feet scraping against the wall, accompanied by the loud and hilarious moaning voice of Aeris at different time intervals:

1:00 A.M.- "Harder! Is that all you've got!"

1:05 A.M.- "Come on you sissy boy, do it like a man."

1:10 A.M.- "Ohhhhhh, tha-at's the spo-o-o-ot right th-ERE. Yeah, ri-GHT th-ERE!"

1:15- "Don't think too much, just bust that dick. I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!"

When the noise and inane comments continued past 1:30, Cloud hopped out of bed and entered Aeris' room. What he saw looked like a scene from the movie 'Poltergeist'. Aeris was laying upside down on the ceiling. According to the laws of gravity, this shouldn't be possible, yet there she was, laying on the ceiling with her naked butt it the air. No one else was in the room, but there were red handprints from where someone had been physically grabbing Aeris, even some on her backside from where she had been spanked.  
Of course, Aeris was visibly pleased. She brushed her sweaty, frizzy hair out of her face with her hand as she commented to Cloud, "Oh my! What are you doing?"  
"Sorry! I'm sorry!"  
"Please, knock first!"

When Cloud exited the room and closed the door, he heard the voice of Zack Fair inside of his head: "Hello, Cloud!"


	28. The Big Day

*Yay! This story has 100 reviews!*

Note: No one answered the quiz question for the last chapter, so I'll just make my own decision regarding the Seventh Heaven's fate. As an incentive to answer this chapter's question, you can choose anything to happen in the next chapter.

**Chapter 28 Quiz Question**- What is the name of the third song on Penguin Café Orchestra's first CD? (If you don't know the answer, look it up online.)

**Prize**- Choose any one thing to happen in the next chapter.

Chapter 28- The Big Day

Truth- A Poem By Tifa Lockheart

Truth is revealed in a day

like the sun is revealed in a morning

like the moon goes down on a soul.

In the dawn, a hope flickers

like a candle burning bright

for my wish of ignorance

and no one asking questions.

* * *

The light of morning reveals a scene unfolding in the apartment of Cloud Strife. A ray of sun falls soft onto a newspaper headline sitting on top of the dresser: 'ShinRa Loses Bar In Unanimous Vote; Returned To Previous Owner'.  
Tifa rests with Cloud on her lover's bed.

"Tifa…"  
"Yes, Cloud?"  
"Did I ever tell you that I love your belly?"

Tifa looked down at herself. At four months pregnant, she was beginning to develop a visible baby bump.

"Yes, and I don't understand it, but I'm glad that you like it."  
"Are you looking forward to your doctor's visit today?"  
"Like you wouldn't believe!"  
"I can come, right?"  
"Of course!"  
"Can I come?" said a voice from outside the room.

Aeris poked her head through a crack in the door, looking for an answer to her question.

"Yes, Aeris. You can come. But come in, I have something to tell you."

Aeris walked into the room, wearing her trademark pink dress.

"Aeris, I started working on my story last night."

"Without me?"

"You were, uh…busy."

"I know, and I'm sorry. But you should have been there, Tifa! Last night, Zack gave me the ride of my life! I swear, it's the best sex I ever had."  
"That's great."  
"So, what are you writing about? Same thing as before?"  
"No, I've decided to write my autobiography."

Aeris smiled as she replied, "That's great, Tifa! An excellent idea!"  
"You won't have to leave, will you?"  
"Not until you finish."  
"That's good."

Cloud interrupted, "It's nice to see that you two are getting along better today."  
To which Tifa responded, "It's very nice. Aeris, I don't want to have this inner struggle with my own self. I'm sorry."  
"Don't apologize, Tifa. I'm the one who called you the worst name."  
"What name was that? I can't recall."  
"At dinner, I called you a knocked-up whore."  
"Oh. Because I called you a bitch. And I'd have to say, bitch sounds worse than whore to me."  
"No, Tifa, trust me, I was way out of line."  
"But I started it."

Cloud interjected, "I think I'm going to leave the fighting to you two for now."  
As Tifa and Aeris continued to disagree, Cloud walked to the bathroom. On his way to the bathroom, he passed Aeris' bedroom. Almost instantly, Cloud could hear Zack Fair's voice in his head again.  
"Think!"

Cloud was extremely startled, but he got up the courage within himself to actually try and converse with the spirit.  
"Think about what, Zack?"  
"About Tifa."  
"What about her?"  
"She's four months along, right?"  
"Yeah, so?"  
"Where were you four months ago?"  
"Hmm. Let's see…I was out training with Vincent in…hey! Wait a second!"

Cloud was just about to march back to his room and confront Tifa with his newfound discovery when he heard Zack's voice behind him, cackling in wild laughter.  
Cloud came to a complete stop and uttered, "No."  
"No what?"  
"You're not Zack Fair."  
"Oh, aren't I?"  
"No, you're an evil spirit, and I'm not listening to a damn word you say!"  
"Even if I'm right?"  
"I know you're right."  
"Then why ignore it?"  
"Because that's exactly what you'd want me to do."

By this point, Cloud was becoming horrified by the ferocity of the spirit in Aeris' room, but he had something to attend to.  
He walked back into his room. Both Aeris and Tifa were quiet at the moment, so he summoned "Aeris, can I talk to you in private for a moment?"  
"Sure."

Once they had both walked down into the hall, Cloud began speaking.  
"Aeris, that Board is nothing but bad news."  
"What do you mean?"  
"That Zack you've been talking too? That's not Zack."  
"I know."  
"What do you mean you know?"  
"It's too mean and aggressive to be Zack."  
"Then why did you make love to it?"  
"Because I'm lonely, okay?!"  
"It's threatening me, Aeris. That spirit's creeping me out, and I think it wants to hurt me! Can you please try to send it back, or exorcise it, or something?"  
"I'll try."  
"Good. Now stay out here. I need to have a private conversation with Tifa."  
"Okay."

Once Cloud had entered the room, he pointed his left index finger at Tifa, but said nothing. He was starting to cry.  
"Tifa…"  
"Cloud, what's the matter?"  
"I'm not the father, am I?"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Four months ago, I was training with Vincent."  
"Four months is an estimate. That was right around the time when you went back to training last time, when you took me home from Reno's party."  
"You remember?"  
"I mean, I was drunk as a skunk that night, but it's been coming back to me lately in my dreams, oddly enough. When we got home, I wasn't entirely unconscious, was I?"  
"No, not entirely. You were floating in and out."  
"And you had sex with my semi-conscious body, didn't you?"

Cloud bent his head in shame and said, "Yes."  
"Don't be ashamed, Cloud. From the bits and pieces that I can remember, I think I actually liked it!"  
"But Tifa, be honest with me! Was I your only sexual partner at that time?"

Tifa let out a deep sigh and sadly admitted, "Not even close."  
Tifa began openly weeping, and the tears swam down her face as she finally realized, "Aeris was right! I am a promiscuous little whore!"

"Tell me, Tifa: how many people could possibly be the father of this child?"

Tifa sniffed back a waterfall of tears as she shakily answered, "S-S-Seven."

Tifa braced herself in preparation for the verbal lashing that she was sure would come from Cloud, but it did not come.  
Cloud sat down on the bed, tenderly wrapping his arms around Tifa in a loving embrace as he quietly intoned, "Tifa, who are these seven people?"

"Well, there's a guy named Federico that I was working with…"  
"At the porn job?"  
"Yes. I don't think it's him, but there's always a chance. I did it with my former boss, Rico."  
"Was he attractive?"  
"Yes, and married."  
"Oh! Please continue."  
"Of course, there's you."  
"Right."  
"Reno."  
"I suspected as much."  
"There was Vincent."  
"Our Vincent? The Vincent Valentine who's engaged to Yuffie?"  
"Y-Yes."  
"Tifa, I promise I'll help you work through your emotional issues."  
"That's nice, but I'm not done yet."  
"Oh."  
"I don't think anyone else knows this…I've even been debating about keeping it out of my autobiography altogether…"  
"Who?"  
"Sephiroth's spirit."

That statement was the one thing that could jolt Cloud to full attention.  
"You did what?!"  
"You should have seen him! He had Aeris' attitude, and he was so nice to me! He actually gave a damn about the way I like to have the dishes washed…the dishes, Cloud!"  
"I'm sorry. I suppose I should have done more to help around the Bar."  
"You should have just been there…sane. Cloud, the first time when you came back and I tore up the Chapel, I wanted so badly to let you back in! I really did! You have to believe me."  
"I do, Tifa. I believe in you."  
"You do?"  
"Yes, Tifa. I believe in you, and I'm going to help you raise this child, no matter who the father is!"  
"Oh, Cloud! You're so sweet!"  
"Thanks, but that's only 6 people."  
"Do what?"  
"You said there were 7 possibilities. You've only mentioned 6."  
"You must be mistaken."  
"I don't think so. You did say 7, right?"  
"Perhaps."  
"Okay. There was Federico, Rico, Me, Reno, Vince, and Sephiroth. Who's the seventh one?"

Tifa cast her head downwards again and replied, "I can't tell you."  
"Yes, you can."  
"No, I can't, Cloud. It's too awful."  
"It's that bad?"  
"Yes."  
"Then I won't worry about it…as long as that person's not the father."  
"I promise, I'm in the process of making sure that everyone gets tested."  
"So, I guess I might as well take the test while I'm at the hospital with you."  
"Yes."  
"Well, it's almost time to go. We should both freshen up."  
"Wait, Cloud."  
"What?"  
"Thanks for understanding."  
"That's what lovers are for, right?"

* * *

When Tifa and Cloud first arrived at the hospital, Tifa was escorted to a room in preparation for her ultrasound while Cloud was escorted to the bathroom.  
As he stood in the bathroom stall closest to the entrance, Cloud did his business. He didn't dare to think of Tifa's sexual encounters, knowing that lingering on the thought could only cause more harm than good. So Cloud wasn't really thinking about anything at the moment. He was simply peeing in a cup.

Tifa, meanwhile, possessed a full mind of racing thoughts as the doctor started to tinker with the ultrasound machine. She kept thinking, 'I hope that Cloud's the father. I could probably live with Sephiroth or Reno being the father. But Federico was just business. Rico and Vincent would have their marriages torn apart by news like this! And…if it's…no! I won't think of it!' Still, the reality was always in the back of her mind.

* * *

When Cloud returned, the doctor was just beginning to rub the jelly-like substance on Tifa's slightly round belly. Cloud clasped Tifa's left hand in excitement. Tifa's eyes met his in a look of desperate hope.

Both of the young lovers oohed and aahed at the sight of Tifa's baby being shown on the small screen. The doctor exclaimed, "That's definitely a boy!"

"Oh, Cloud! Do you have any good ideas for boy names?"  
"How about Daniel…or David…maybe Damon?"  
Tifa cringed at the sound of the D-names, but she didn't let Cloud notice.

* * *

Afterwards, Tifa was sent into the bathroom as well. It was her turn to pee in a cup, and let the futuristic technology of Edge Hospital collect minute evidence of the baby's DNA. Just years ago, this method would not have been possible. Tifa could only begin to imagine the miracle that the future of science had brought to the town of Edge.

* * *

Once Tifa, Cloud, and Aeris had arrived back home, Aeris went straight to her room to confront 'Zack Fair'.

"Zack, I know you're in here! I know you've escaped from the board. Show yourself!"  
Silence.  
"You're not really Zack, are you?"  
"Of course not."  
"I heard that! Reveal yourself! Where is your hiding spot?"

Aeris looked under the bed.  
"Wrong."  
Aeris searched in the dark corners of the room, behind the furniture.  
The spirit's voice became more distinctly feminine this time as it teased, "You'll never find me if you look over there!"

When Aeris finally decided to open her closet, the spirit was there in full visible form, staring her in the face.  
Aeris screamed at the top of her lungs as Cloud burst into the room.  
"Aeris, what's the problem?!"

Both Cloud and Aeris were as pale as a ghost, and they stood in shock as they witnessed a second Aeris come out of the closet.

* * *

Later on in the day, Tifa received a fax from the hospital, revealing the results of the seven paternity tests that the hospital had conducted. Cloud's results were on the top of the pile:

In the case of Cloud Strife: Not The Father

Tifa sunk down to her knees on the floor as she flipped through the rest of the pages.

'Damn it! Damn it to hell!'

In the case of Federico: Not The Father

'Okay.'

In the case of Rico: Not The Father

'Excellent.'

In the case of Vincent Valentine: Not The Father

'Thank God. Okay, come on! Sephiroth or Reno. For cripes sake, PLEASE be Sephiroth or Reno!'

In the case of Sephiroth: Not The Father

'Oh God. Please, Reno! Don't let me down, Reno! I need you now so bad, Reno!'

In the case of Reno:……

Tifa closed her eyes, praying to some unseen force that her wish would be granted. When she let one of her eyes squint open, she saw the fateful truth:

…Not The Father.

Tifa exclaimed, "No! No! Oh hell, no!"

The man whose test was last in the list was most certainly the father of Tifa's unborn baby.

In the case of Denzel: Perfect Match


	29. The Major Arcana

Note: Congratulations to J.u.n.k.i.e. for getting the correct answer to last chapter's quiz question. The answer was 'The Sound Of Someone You Love Who's Going Away And It Doesn't Matter'.

I did a good bit of research for this chapter, concerning the current stage of Tifa's pregnancy and also delving deeper into the occultic themes that Aeris is beginning to immerse herself in. Also, I wrote in a style that makes it seem as if this is the script to a video from Tifa's webcam.

I'm not having a quiz question for this chapter, but you can still provide some valuable input because I want to poll my readers about something. After reading this chapter, please leave a review and tell me what you think about this issue:

**Poll Question**: Should Tifa...

A: Be honest with Denzel and let him know that he is the father of her baby, or...

B: Let Denzel continue in his carefree life and have Cloud play the full role as father?

Chapter 29- The Major Arcana

"With my gypsy ancestress and my weird luck, and my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack, I may be a bit of a Jew."- Sylvia Plath, 'Daddy'

"That's right, it's come to this! And wasn't it a strange way down?"- Leonard Cohen, 'Dress Rehearsal Rag'

From the webcam of Tifa Marie Lockheart:

Well, here I am again. I've decided to use technology in order to write another chapter in the story of my life. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in so long, but I've been worrying my ass off about the new baby. By the way, Cloud and I have decided on a name: we're calling him Johnny, after my childhood friend. Johnny used to have such a crush on me, and he also worked with 'Cloud' in Soldier for a short while.

So, yeah…pregnancy update: I've gained about 10 pounds since this process first started, so I'm right on track there. The doctor says that I should be gaining about a pound a week from here on out. I'm definitely going to be training with Yuffie again after Johnny is born. Right now, I just look slightly chubby, but I've been watching a lot of those pregnancy time-progression videos on the internet, and I can tell that I'm going to be ballooning like crazy this coming month!

Here's something else that's interesting: yesterday, Aeris told me about my Zodiacal Sign. I was born in May, so that means I'm a Taurus. Aeris says that Tauruses are very sexual people who prefer the finer things in life. However, they are also self-indulgent, greedy, overly excessive, and ill-tempered. It pains me to say that Aeris' Astrology is spot on about me.

Hmm…what else is there? Ah, yes! I shredded the test result papers. Nobody else will ever suspect anything! In fact, the reason I'm making this webcam video right now is because Cloud is out buying groceries. That should take him a while.

It appears that there are two Aeris' in this house. I've heard nothing but bad things about this new Aeris. I haven't actually seen her for myself yet. She likes to sneak around invisibly around me, for some weird reason. I know she's trying to play games with my mind. Two days ago, I was making dinner for Cloud, and I had set out the flour because it was a main ingredient. I turned around to get something else out of the refridgerator, and when I turned back around, the bag of flour was gone! Completely vanished! I thought I heard a faint sound of laughter, and it wasn't more than five minutes later that the real Aeris came into the room, holding the bag of flour and saying, "Tifa, why was there a bag of flour in the bathroom?"

On another occasion, I was serving Reno at the bar, and the air conditioner vent on the floor was on. I made sure to sidestep it, remembering the embarrassing 'panty incident' from before. But no sooner had I sidestepped it than I felt my pants fall down around my ankles! It most definitely felt as if someone had yanked them down forcefully. I was even more embarrassed this time than I was last time, especially when Reno made the snide comment, "You know, even just seeing you from behind, I can tell you're pregnant because your hips are wider…you look more dilated." I have to admit, I actually laughed when he said that.

With all this chaos going on, it's very nice to see that the real Aeris has a system for keeping the two of them separate. The real Aeris has begun wearing a small white flower in her hair, every day. It is very cute, and she looks so beautiful that way. Oddly enough, this new and mischievous Aeris doesn't care enough to do the same. She does her deeds openly…except around me. In fact, she's separating herself from the real Aeris. I was writing something about her in my book this morning, and when I looked down, there was a scribbled message and the bottom of the page in Aeris' handwriting. It read: 'Call me Aerith.'

Cloud's attitude hasn't been to positive for either Aeris lately. I understand that he has this mental image of what the real Aeris should be like, and she's not fulfilling it. It's very creepy how she seems to have been led by the hand into this world of darkness by forces unseen. Cloud has confronted her about it, but she's unwilling to change. And Cloud definitely doesn't have any love for the new 'Aerith'. Last night, Cloud told me that he felt Aerith push him into a hallway closet. When Aerith materialized into a physical form, she was completely nude, and she said to him, "I know you still have feelings for me." Thank goodness, my Cloud had the smarts to dash out of that closet in a hurry!

Oddly enough, I think that Cloud's recent distaste for Aeris/Aerith has drawn him closer to me. Practically any time I move when Cloud's around, he's drooling over me. I asked him what his new fixation is, and he told me: "Tifa, I think I have a fetish for seeing you knocked up like this." That was a really sweet thing to say (especially since my passions have been off the charts as well, if you know what I mean!) To some degree, I'm glad he enjoys it, because I certainly can't say that I share the same love for my condition that he does. I'm tired of getting cramps and temperature fluctuations! Just four more months to go…

But the biggest issue right now that doesn't involve me concerns Aeris and Aerith. Believe it or not, they are getting along too well. You rarely see one without the other unless Aerith is scheming. In fact, a few days ago, the two of them snuck out together to go to a comic book/card shop at the end of the block. Aerith was leading the way, practically dragging Aeris' tired and apathetic body by the hand. When they returned, Aeris was carrying two very dark and ominous items. In her left hand, Aeris held a pack of Egyptian-looking 'Book Of Thoth' Tarot Cards. In her right hand was an instruction manual for the cards written by one of the most Satanic people on Earth…Aleister Crowley.

Over the past few days, Aerith has eschewed Aeris' normal style of clothing, instead donning black eyeliner and an exquisitely beautiful (yet oddly haunting) white-ish-blue dress/slip combo. It is a very sheer article of clothing, not leaving much to the imagination. It is a very long dress, almost touching the floor. To sum it all up in one comparison, it looks almost identical to the dress worn by Stevie Nicks on the cover her first solo CD, 'Bella Donna'. I fear that it won't be long before Aeris changes her wardrobe as well: to the same exact thing.

I'll admit, I almost had a bit of a scare one night when Aeris finally decided that she had learned enough about her Tarot cards (from Aerith and Mr. Crowley) to give Cloud and I a demonstration. She laid out the cards for myself first, and they told the story that I wasn't prepared to explain. I'm not sure what Aeris was doing with the cards, but she looked directly into my eyes with a fierce gaze that I have never seen from those Jade colored eyes before. She relayed the message: "Tifa, you have a secret. A huge secret". After I stopped my heart from racing, I asked her, "What kind of secret?"  
"I don't know. These cards aren't exactly specific to that level."  
Thank god for that, or else I'd have been totally busted! Oddly enough, Cloud didn't ask me about it afterwards. I think he's forgotten.

But I can't forget! My mind is swirling with so many options and so many choices! Do I tell Denzel and risk the secret being exposed to the world? Or do I delude myself, keeping the secret for all of eternity? After all, Cloud is fully devoted to raising baby Johnny as his own, and Denzel has a whole life ahead of him that doesn't need to include being a father. Damn it, I'm so confused! What should I do? I've thought through this thing for so long, and I'm still torn on both sides. I just need some clarity and guidance.

Well, I obviously can't post this online. Someone might find it. I suppose I'll keep it to myself on my own personal compact disk, kind of as a landmark to look back on in the future. So, until next time, this is Tifa Lockheart, signing off.

Goodbye.


	30. Relapse

Note: Just as a quick refresher, I would like to remind my readers that when I refer to Aerith, I'm talking about the evil side of Aeris. When I talk about Aeris, I mean the original character from the Final Fantasy VII game.

Also, all Pink Floyd lyrics in this chapter are the sole property of Pink Floyd. They are not my creation.

**(Warning: This chapter contains very strong Sexual Content!)**

Chapter 30- Relapse

From the diary of Tifa Marie Lockheart:

I could tell that today was going to be 'one of those days' when I woke up in the morning to see my maternity nightgown absolutely covered in breast milk.  
Cloud had already woken up, so I maneuvered my heavily pregnant body out of bed and into the hallway. From the other end of the hall, I could hear Cloud talking to someone on the phone. He sounded upset.

"No…  
I told you, I'm putting my foot down. My wife is pregnant. I can't deal with this right now…  
Haven't I already proven myself enough already?...  
You know how I feel about protocol…  
Yeah, but I've done this I don't know how many times already!...  
Last time? You promise? One month? I don't know, man…  
Well, that doesn't leave me much choice then, does it?...  
Fine. I'll be there. But I'm only doing one month…  
Okay. Bye."

"Cloud, who were you talking to?"  
"Oh, that was Rufus. He says that he wants me to go on another training mission. He says that it will only be one month, and it's the last one."  
"Wow. Well, I heard you talking to him. I know you tried to stay, for my sake I mean."  
"Right. But a rule's a rule. What are you going to do about, you know?"  
"Yeah."  
"Tifa, what happened to you last night? Your nightgown looks like somebody sprayed you down with a hose."  
"Somebody kinda did, in my dreams."  
"You naughty girl!"  
"Cloud, I'm going to miss you so much! Promise that you'll call every night!"  
"I promise! Will you promise me one thing?"  
"Anything."  
"Make sure you keep yourself well fed. You know how I like it."  
"I sure do! By the time you get back, you'll swear I was having triplets!"  
"That's sweet, Tifa. Do you really like it?"  
"Of course. Now I actually have a valid reason to raid the fridge this time. But Cloud, why do you like to see me so round?"  
"Hmm. Good question. Just a fetish, I guess."  
"Same here. When do you leave for training?"  
"As soon as possible. I really need to start packing my bags now."  
"Oh. Well, then you have something that I want, Mr. Cloud Strife."  
"What is that?"  
"I want that big snake in your pants!"

Cloud looked down to see that his raging erection was very vividly obvious, outlined by his tight pants.

"Well, Mrs. Tifa Lockheart, if that's what you want, that's what you'll get!"

Cloud stripped completely naked, revealing a large penis that stuck straight out into the air. Cloud lifted me up off the ground and carried me back to the bedroom as I giggled hysterically. He set me gently onto the bed and removed my nightgown. Staring directly at my massive bosoms, Cloud seemed completely mesmerized.  
"Tifa, can I?"  
"Don't ask, just do!"  
"Anything?"  
"Anything."

A romantic smile appeared on Cloud's face as he grabbed both of my breasts and began rubbing his thumbs over my nipples.

"Mm, Cloud…mmm! Yes!"

It didn't take long at all before my already sensitive protruding nipples began shooting milk against the palms of Cloud's hands. I honestly had to hold myself back because I felt an orgasm coming on, and Cloud had only begun! He left a hand on one of my wet and creamy breasts as he shifted the other hand down to my big pregnant belly. He started rubbing that too, and while it didn't turn me on like his first action did, I understood that this was a move meant for turning Cloud on. In fact, he even let out his own soft moan as he felt the wave of our baby's foot kicking against the side of my belly.  
Cloud then shifted his body (being careful not to smother my belly) into a position so that he could kiss me. And he did so, passionately. He slipped me some tongue, and I slipped back some of my own.  
But the best moment was when Cloud used the Index and Middle fingers of his right hand to pleasure me. Or at least I think that's why he did it. It certainly wasn't to open me up. Being pregnant, I didn't need any help in that regard.  
"Ohh, Cloud! Yes! Right there! I…ahhh!"

"Tifa, what's the matter? Cramps?"  
"One: don't ever say that again. And two: no."  
"Then what is it?"

Cloud saw exactly what the problem was when he realized that he hadn't remembered to shut the door on the way in. The ghastly presence of Aeris and Aerith entered the room, with Aeris standing by the right side of the bed and Aerith on the left. Cloud almost jumped up out of shock.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"No, Cloud. Don't stop what you're doing!"  
"Uh…are you sure, Tifa?"  
"Yes, I'm sure! Just close your eyes if it bothers you so much."  
"No, that's okay."

As both Aerith and Aeris watched, Cloud sat up, curling himself around my belly and grabbing my hips for leverage. I could hear Cloud tell me, "Tifa, talk dirty to me. That would help me a lot."  
"Okay."

Oddly enough, Cloud slapped the inside of my leg with his growing penis, saying, "I want you to feel this."  
"How do you want me to talk? Positive or negative?"  
"Both."  
"Alright."

I cleared my throat and started my faked sexual speech to Cloud.  
"Wow! That's rather impressive, Cloud, but I've seen better."  
"And? Tell me about it."  
"Mind if I use a real story?"  
"Don't mind."  
"I had a man over while you were gone, Cloud. How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel like less of a man? Because he was bigger than you! Longer than you! He knew all the right places, and I snuck him in right under your nose! We even had sex on your bed!"  
"Mmm…keep going, Tifa."

I could feel Cloud's big dick extending, poking against the inside of my leg.

"But don't worry, yours is much smoother! I could rub you all day long, Cloud. And your dick is so rock hard! I bet you're packed full of hot and steamy cum, just ready to bust into me, aren't you?"  
"I sure am!"  
"Oh, Cloud, look at you! You're absolutely huge! How rude, you sexual pervert! You should be ashamed of yourself!"  
"Ooooh…Tifa, that's excellent. Just a little more."  
"Is pussy all you ever think about? How disgraceful! You've been a very bad boy! Is that good enough?"  
"Ohh, yes. That's fine. Do you have any requests?"  
"Just tell me you love me. Don't stop until we're done."

Looking up, I could see that Aeris and Aerith had not changed their reactions since they entered the room. They were completely stone faced. But Cloud Strife certainly wasn't! His face was beginning to turn red as his heart beat quickly under the influence of the drug of our sex.  
Cloud stuck his massive hard-on inside my moistening cunt and began thrusting fiercely, constantly saying, "I love you, Tifa! I love your belly, your breasts, your hair, your smile, even your voice! I love your beautiful pussy, and  
MOST OF ALL  
("uhhhh! Ohhhh!")  
I  
("YESSSS!!!!")  
LOVE  
("Oh shit! Oh shit!")  
YOU  
("I…ohh!...love…oh dear god!...you too!)  
MORE!  
("WHOOO!")

"Oh, wow, Cloud! *gasp* I need to catch my breath!"  
"Tifa, that was heavenly."  
I was unable to make the words come, so I simply nodded my head yes.  
Cloud then asked Aerith and Aeris, "What do you think you're doing?"  
Aeris commented, "Watching."  
"Why?"  
"Because Aerith is watching."  
"Aerith, why are you watching?"

Complete and utter silence.

"Anyway, I need to start packing. Tifa…"  
"Yes?"  
"Will you promise to do something for me before I get back next month?"  
"Anything."  
"Keep yourself well fed. You know how I like it."  
"I sure do: super pregnant! Damn, you love bellies, don't you Cloud?"  
"I love yours."  
"Aww, you're so good to me!"  
"You really mean it?"  
"Of course. This is the real Cloud. I know that."  
"Thanks for telling me that."  
"You're welcome."

* * *

Little did I know after Cloud left that I would be having supper at the bar that night with both Reno and Denzel. Although if I had seen it coming, I could have easily guessed that Reno would do most of the talking.

"So, Teef. Why ya called me over for?"  
"As a peace offering. I wanted to offer this meal as an act of goodwill."  
"So that I wouldn't try to take this place over again?"  
"Right."  
"Well, I do admit that the patrons having been filing in rather nicely for the past few weeks. When do you open for the night anyway?"  
"In about an hour."  
"Oh, by the way Denzel, Tifa has something she wants to tell you."

Denzel looked up from his meal and asked, "Is this true, Tifa?"  
I nervously brushed a few loose strands of hair back out of my eyes before admitting, "Yes. I do."  
"What is it?"

Reno quickly interrupted, "You knocked her up."

I slapped him on the arm. "Reno!"  
"Sorry…or not."

Denzel seemed frozen in time. It took him a minute to formulate a response.  
"Can you prove this, Tifa?"

I gave him the papers as proof, and a weird look popped up on his face. It was a mixture of 'Oh my God, what have I done?' and 'I have scaled the Mount Everest of sexual conquests. Praise me!'  
"Tifa, I'm…I'm sorry."  
"No, you're not", Reno interrupted. "You're proud, aren't you? And you don't even have to show any responsibility. Just keep on acting like a high school senior while Cloud takes care of the child."

I interjected, "Well, I don't know if he would if he knew my secret."  
To which Reno replied, "Sure he would. I just now texted him about it."  
"YOU DID WHAT?!"  
"Yeah! I even got a reply: 'Have Tifa confirm it. I'll know if you're lying.'"

I had no choice. I had to send Cloud a message from my own phone saying, "Yes, Cloud. It's true."  
Reno continued, "That problem's solved. Now what is this I hear about Cloud wanting you to carry heavy?"  
"Reno, how did you know that?!"  
"Wait. I'm right?! Holy crap, I was just taking a shot in the dark! I'm sure you'll have Mr. Strife going nuts over you."  
"Um, maybe."

Reno was making me extremely uncomfortable, and it didn't help that he shifted his chair closer to mine, invading my personal space. Denzel was starting to turn red, and he continued to stare bullets into the awkward Turk. Reno must not have noticed, because he continued his attempts to get close to me.  
"Tifa, you look just like a watermelon swallowed."  
"Reno, that made no sense at all. Are you drunk?"  
"Is that what you really think?"  
Reno proceeded to raise his shirtsleeve, showing me his arm.  
"Do you see any marks on there? No, of course not. Nobody is stickin' me with any straws, that's for damn sure. I'm not a beverage for someone to be drinkin'."  
"Yes, you're drunk."  
"If I was being drunk, I bet I'd taste like ginger ale."  
"Okay, you're very drunk."

Denzel seemingly broke the tension when he asked, "Can I have some more water please?"  
"Sure. I'll go behind the bar and get it for you."  
"No", Reno interrupted. "That won't be necessary. I'll get it."  
"Uh, okay."  
Reno grabbed my left hand and smiled a goofy grin as he said to me, "Just let me take care of you. Everything will be so much simpler."

Once Reno had gotten up and stumbled to the bar, he queried, "Where's the water?"  
"In the first tap."  
"This one?"  
"No, the other one."  
"This one?"  
"Reno, that tap is in the middle. How could it possibly be the first one?"  
"It's first in my heart."  
"Wow. Just let me get it."  
"Okay."

I got up to get Denzel's water, but Reno did not return to his seat. He waited for me at the bar. As I poured water from the tap into the glass, Reno annoyingly commented, "Have you ever popped buttons Tifa? Ever busted a bra clean off?"  
"Reno, I think we both know the answer to that question."  
"What if I don't? Educate me."

Reno reached for my bra strap, but I forcefully told him, "Stop that!" and smacked his arm away. Reno then decided to take a seat at the table again.  
As I returned to my seat, Reno reached out with his right hand in slapped my ass as hard as he could, producing a loud "smack!" sound. I spilled some of Denzel's water on my shirt.  
I could also sense that my nipples were getting particularly perky from the cold wetness. Obviously Reno must have noticed because he lamely exclaimed, "Don't shoot me, don't shoot me! Put those puppies down."  
"Reno, why do you always have to be so damn perverted all the time?"  
"Because that's what you are…just a pair of boobs with a body."

Denzel finally decided to stand up for me, screaming at Reno, "How dare you talk to Tifa like that! I swear to God, you better apologize!"  
"Or what?"  
"Or else I'm going to knock you out!"  
"Wow, kid. That was kinda weak. I think what you meant to say was 'I'm going to kick your ass'. But I know when I'm not wanted. And now I will take my leave."

Reno stumbled out the door. I don't know how he got home, but I supposed that he called Rude for a ride.

After Reno had left, Denzel asked me, "Why do you hang out with him?"  
"Because he's a big source of income."  
"Oh. Well, he's a jerk."  
"Tell me about it."  
"Tifa?"  
"Yes?"  
"How does it feel…to know that I'm the father? Do you feel, uh, violated? Or something else maybe?"  
"I wholeheartedly feel okay with it. If you want to be completely honest, I've almost convinced my mind that it's Cloud's baby."  
"Right. It would be, hmm, too…odd for you to be attached to me."  
"You sound disappointed."

Denzel sighed and replied, "Tifa, I might not be as open about this as Reno is, but you're the most beautiful woman on earth."  
"Oh, you're just saying that."  
"No, I mean it! You're like…no, I can't say it."  
"Sure you can."  
"No, it would sound weird because you're like such a mother to me."  
"But you've already had sex with me. That excuse doesn't really cut it anymore."  
"True. I guess I'll just say it. You have such a hypnotizing effect on men of all ages. I don't know if you've thought of this before, but have you ever stopped to consider how many men have imagined you in their fantasies?"  
"Denzel, you're making me blush. And yes, I have had to think about it many times as I grew up. I know that the entire male population basically wants to tie me down and hump my brains out. Do you want to know a secret?"  
"Sure."  
"The first time I met Cloud, we were very young, maybe almost 10 years old. I was an extremely early bloomer. In fact, by that time, I'd already had my first period, and I was the first girl in my age group to start their breast growth. But when Cloud came up to me that first time, I could see something different in him. He drooled over me like all the other little boys did, but for some reason, I was curious as to why. So I asked him one day, "Why are you always staring at me?" He was so shy and nervous that his legs started trembling, but I'll never forget the look of honesty on his face as he told me, "I like your hair."  
"Wow, that's a great story, Tifa."  
"Denzel, what first attracted you to me?"  
"Well, you rescued me from the streets, obviously."  
"No, I mean, why did you start to worship me like you're doing now?"  
"I…I don't know. There's so much to like."  
"Well, perhaps I can help."  
"Okay."

I walked to the jukebox and began to play a song for Denzel. It was Pink Floyd's 'Mother'.

Denzel listened carefully as Roger Waters' voice came through the speakers in the form of questions to his mother about the government and insecurity. But he perked up in attention as David Gilmour's voice countered:

"**Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry  
Momma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true  
Momma's gonna put all of her fears into you  
Momma's gonna keep you right here under her wing  
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing."**

Denzel tapped his foot nervously and his face got red again as Waters retorted,

"**Mother, do you think she's good enough  
For me?  
Mother, do you think she's dangerous  
To me?  
Mother will she tear your little boy apart?  
Mother, will she break my heart?"**

I could sense that Denzel was beginning to cry, but he started completely bawling as Gilmour replied back,

"**Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry  
Momma's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you  
Momma won't let anyone dirty get through"**

As the song ended, I consoled Denzel, holding him in a tight embrace while he cried in my arms. After a minute of letting his emotions out, Denzel admitted, "That's exactly it!"  
"Was I too protective of you?"  
"I guess so."  
"And you think it's hurt you…"  
"No. I don't want you to stop! I love you!"  
"Denzel, there comes a time when a boy has to become a man. But if I'm being completely honest…"

I burst into a fountain of tears as well as I continued, "…I don't want to stop either!"  
"You (*sob*) are the best son…a woman could ever hope for!"  
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"  
"Yes, Denzel."  
"So when I was, you know…"  
"I loved it, every minute of it!"  
"But you didn't know it was me."  
"That's why my opinion is unbiased. I promise you, one day, you're going to make some girl out there very proud. And as much as I may hate to say it, (*sob*) I'm not that girl!"

Denzel and I just sat there and cried for a few minutes until the tears subsided and the time came closer for the bar to open.  
"Denzel, there's something I want you to do."  
"What's that?"  
"Go home, and tear down your shrine. It's only harming both of us."  
"Okay."  
"You wouldn't hate me for making you do this, would you?"  
"No. I understand."  
"Good. You can still come over if you like, but remember that it can never work between us."  
"Right."  
"I do have something to give to you before you go."  
"What is it?"  
"It's a book that I think describes our situation very well. In fact, when I first read this book, I was amazed how well it matched up with Cloud's abusive past and our feelings for each other. But it's not just that. It's also a story of how we can break free and escape this mess we're in. The book is _Sons And Lovers _by D.H. Lawrence. Please read it."  
"I will. I'll cherish it forever!"  
"Not too much, I hope!"  
"Oh. Right! But I promise I'll start reading it soon."  
"Denzel, you're such a good boy. I promise that I didn't have any of this planned beforehand. This is coming straight from the heart. Now go, before the crowd gets here."  
"Okay. Bye, Tifa!"  
"Bye."

* * *

Later that night, the dark Aerith was pestering me as I worked the bar. She knew well enough that I could not respond to her, lest someone see that I was 'talking to myself'. So needless to say, she had free rein. And she dug those reins in tight tonight.

"Tifa, you love Denzel, don't you?"

I pursed my lips tight as I continued my work, trying to ignore the evil spirit in the Stevie Nicks costume.

"Don't hold back your feelings. Go to him. He wants you so bad, I bet he's crying. I bet he won't listen…won't break that shrine…oh, he'll read your book, but not with the critical eye you want him to have. Honestly though, that whole scene was so sappy. I would have puked, if I was there. Are you even listening to me?"

No reaction.

"Fine! I guess you wouldn't mind then if I break some stuff."

I instantly heard the sound of two glass cups falling to the floor and shattering with a powerful force as if someone had thrown them down at the ground.

No reaction.

"You're no fun. I'm going back to Aeris."

About a minute later, the real spirit of Aeris glided into the kitchen, apparently trying to be a copycat. Aeris picked up a glass cup, but I quickly turned around and simply shook my head no. With a trembling hand, Aeris put the cup back on the shelf and went back to her room.

* * *

After the crowd had dissipated and closing time arrived, I sleepily went to my bedroom and made a quick phone call.

"Yuffie?"  
"Hi, Tifa."  
"Did you get the dental work taken off yet?"  
"Yes. I had it removed this week."  
"That's good. How are you feeling?"  
"Lonely as hell."  
"Hell isn't lonely."  
"It is if you don't believe in it."  
"Point taken."  
"Yeah, Teef. I really think this whole thing with me and Vince will work out, because I miss him so bad when he's gone!"  
"Just think how cool it's going to be when Vince and Cloud become official reformed Turks!"  
"Yeah! That would be awesome! But, uh…I have some news."  
"What kind of news?"  
"Oh. Cloud didn't call you yet?"  
"No. I bet he's still miffed that he's not the father of my child. I mean…OH CRAP!"  
"Tifa! Cloud's not the father?!"  
"Aw, why do I have to talk so much?"  
"Who is it?"  
"Yuffie, you're not going to like what I'm about to say."  
"WHAT?"  
"The father of my baby is Denzel."  
"Seriously?"  
"Seriously."  
"Hah-hah-hah! Now that's irony!"  
"How so?"  
"It's like the student has mastered the teacher."  
"Yeah, anyway, Cloud knows. I thought he was okay about it, but he hasn't called back."  
"Oh, about that…"  
"Yuffie, spill it!"  
"Okay, alright! Gawd. Anyway, Vinnie told me that Cloud wasn't quite as 'up to snuff' on his physical as he should have been. They may still be running tests."  
"What are you talking about?!"  
"It's nothing serious. They just think it may be time for him to have some more Mako drained out, that's all."  
"Oh. It's good that they noticed it."  
"Right."  
"I just hope he's alright."  
"Don't worry, Tifa. Everything will be fine. The sun will be out tomorrow."

I quickly glanced at the newspaper on the nightstand beside my bed. The weather forecast for tomorrow read, 'Cloudy. 75% chance of rain'.**  
**


End file.
